The Anchoress
I hope nobody minds if I re-post something from my blog from last week. (In my defense, this is not so much shameless self-promotion as shameless scrambling for a post.) It just cracks me up, and maybe you nice folks would like to play along.
WordPress keeps track of all kinds of stats, including lists of phrases people searched for to end up at your blog. It’s like peeking into the collective unconscious of The Reader (and discovering that, as expected, The Reader is . . . not quite right in the head). I saved some of my favorite search terms, and made this little ditty. It’s called “Hamburger Washer Sleep Blog,” and I believe it sums up my ouvre nicely:
.
Mad Jesus
Laughing Jesus
people choking
Jew site
.
Snappy kid talk
What is spillcock
baby powder help with lice
.
I have sit
I must sit down
Ha ha suckers
toilets blog
.
Mark Shea butter football
baby shower old wise tales
.
How to wet sitting down
Sit down joke
I need sit down
.
frog brothers
pasty vampires
Hallie Lord The Jerk
. . .
Nice, eh? Not a dry seat in the house. If you have a blog or website, why not make one of your own? They practically write themselves. The only rule is that all the words must be direct quotes from actual search terms. Or if you want to add other words, the search terms must be clearly set apart with italics or quotation marks or something. In one week, I’m going to host a linky list for these poems on my blog, so please join me. Then we’ll see who’s Abby Normal.
If you don’t have a statistical tracker, Sitemeter is free and pretty easy to use. Come on, Sally, show us what a real poet can do. Oh, and: to the person who searched for “simcha fisher address”? Please tell me you’re not the same one who searched for “times when i am wearing pants” on the same day.
Maybe I should stop writing ditties and go buy a gun.
Remember, Monday, September 13th! Linky Linky! I have to sit down!
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