Brace Yourselves, Back To School Posts Are Coming…

… Can you believe the summer is almost over? Time for the kids to go back to school. I hear the Catholic school kids have already started school. Ha ha. My little heathen goes to public school so we’ve got time for one more camping trip before the end of the month. Look out…

In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve recently discovered the magic of gifs. Thus begins my one woman campaign to turn Patheos into 4chan.

Every time I mention school starting back up my son starts whining about how going to school is soooooo unfair.

Yeah. Wait till he grows up and the only time he’ll ever get 3 months vacation is if he moves to Europe. Then we’ll see who’s crying about how hard life is. In the meantime I have to spend money on back to school supplies which cuts into my liquor budget. Thank goodness for sales.

Oh and the homework fights! I used to tell my son that they send kids who make bad grades to labor camps where they dig holes all day in the scorching desert. Then he saw the movie and knew I was full of crap. I miss that tender age when kids believe anything you tell them. Now his all pre-teen Mr. Too Cool To Give His Mom A Hug In Public Because The Girl With The Exotic Name Who Lives Next Door Might See. Man they turn on you quick.

I’ve still got the one thing going for me… he could care less about Back To School clothes. I remember that fashion show also known as the first day of school. My son is happy in clean underwear and nylon sport shorts. Every penny I save is one penny closer to my dream of moving to Italy. What? I am completely serious about that. I will live in Italy. I’ve saved $300 so far just by switching from top shelf vodka.

Oh. And I’ve been getting a little flack about the lack of Catholic related content on here lately. A lot of you miss my Fine Art features and Art Behaving Badly. Fret not. Shitty Christian Art has just reached new whimsical heights. Gifs.

Would I ever fail you, readers?