When We Go on a Journey of Discovery
Being at a funeral this week caused me to reflect on all the people I know and used to know. I wondered If any of them are on a similar journey as I am where I am asking questions about my previous faith, and I am discovering new things every day. I wonder if this is because most people do not speak up about things, especially if they are difficult or controversial.
I remember how I felt when I was inside organized religion and felt the anxiety about pursuing anything new. Sometimes they called it a slippery slope, sometimes, they said that it would be dangerous, and sometimes they just said, “Be careful.”
There are certainly dangers in every adventure, including the one that we are currently involved with. We cannot predict the future and we cannot control all the events in our lives to the extent that we eliminate the danger. Most of our fear and control just cause other problems such as high blood pressure, abuse of others, and avoidance of life and the world around us.
So, when we set out on a journey of exploration, it is natural to feel some fear and to be a little nervous about a journey that we have never been on before. But as I learned earlier in life, most of the things we fear never happen, and we discover benefits that we never could have imagined. Because we thought the world was only as big as our immediate orbit. Organized religion likes to limit our world to a simplistic reality, which also limits the things we can discover and the things we experience.
Many of the discoveries we could be having are just beyond the fears that are keeping us captive.
So, what are some things that make overcoming fear worth the effort?
What happens When We Go on a Journey of Discovery?
1. We often see things we have never seen before.
When we are involved in high-control situations, whether they are in church or our families, fear causes us to imagine dangers that are not even there. When we step into places we have never been before, we see things that we have never seen before.
When I visited my son in Taiwan, of course, I was a little nervous about traveling overseas and going to a country I had never been to before, so I took precautions and allowed someone to guide me so that I could have the best possible experience.
But the best part of the whole experience, and when I saw things I never saw before, was when I asked the question, “What is that?” Of course, we can gain insights from reading books and listening to documentaries and investigations of something, but when we see it best is when we see it with all our senses and see it in person! We not only see the things that we are looking for, but we also see all the other things that are there.
2. We often learn some things we did not know before.
When I first left Christianity, I did not know that I was leaving Christianity, I didn’t know that I was trying to learn new things, I was just asking questions. My questions led to discoveries, and each discovery led to more questions, which provided more answers.
I am becoming convinced that one of the best phrases we could utter is “I don’t know.” When I was in a patriarchal, misogynistic, and complementarian system, I assumed that I was supposed to be the leader of our family and I was supposed to have the answers, especially because I was a pastor. Oddly enough that did not lead me as often to search out answers, it caused me to draw from my ignorance because I couldn’t say that I didn’t know.
Now that I have discovered so many things, it only makes me want to learn more. I have a pile of about 30 books that I can read this year—My goal is 100!
3. We often build deeper friendships with those who go on the journey with us.
I feel like I need a disclaimer to this point. It sounds natural to say that when we go on a journey together, we will build deep friendships. We all know that, even in our journey of organized religion, we built some deep friendships. Many people are worried about leaving organized religion because they will be leaving friendships behind.
All these things are true because a journey of discovery causes us to grow and people that choose not to grow will slowly distance themselves from us. Someone who chooses not to question and not to grow will experience fear when they are operating from a different paradigm. It scares them, and they attempt to bring us back by shaming and criticizing. But if we persist for a season, I am convinced that people will enter our lives that are important to the next stages of our journey.
When I honestly look back on where I came from, I am not at all regretful about the people that I have left behind. It was their choice and of course, I would love to have them experience what I am experiencing, but I cannot change people, and trying to scare or entice them to be on the journey that I am on just recreates old problems.
They must choose it.
Be where you are,
Be who you are,
Be at Peace,
Karl Forehand
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Karl Forehand is a former pastor, podcaster, and award-winning author. His books include Out into the Desert, Leaning Forward, Apparent Faith: What Fatherhood Taught Me About the Father’s Heart, The Tea Shop and Being: A Journey Toward Presence and Authenticity. He is the creator of The Desert Sanctuary podcast and community. He is married to his wife Laura of 35 years and has one dog named Winston. His three children are grown and are beginning to multiply! You can read more about the author here
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