Good Questions – Is Church Necessary?

Good Questions – Is Church Necessary? December 30, 2024

Good Questions – Is Church Necessary?

Photo by Nikko Tan: https://www.pexels.com/photo/brown-wooden-church-bench-near-white-painted-wall-133699/

 

The power to question is the basis of all human progress.

Indira Gandhi

My deconstruction began when I started asking questions. The questions weren’t the regular softball questions we asked Sunday school teachers, which propped up what the teacher was already trying to assert. These questions caused the rest of the class to groan, mumble, and, most likely, talk about me behind my back.

I continue to ask the questions in this series. Many would believe that these questions make us bitter or that we’re just causing problems by asking them. I hope the questions help us evolve into a better state of being. Being outside of organized religion, I can finally hear the whispers and observe the drumbeat of the universe, along with the peace and comfort that I find. I find my comfort not in a finalized belief statement, but in a way of being that continues to question everything.

3. Why do we need to go to church when the services are available elsewhere for free?

It’s been a while since I’ve attended a church for very long without being in some type of leadership role. I have a hard time just sitting in the audience, so I get involved, even though at times I probably wasn’t prepared. When we talk about questioning the validity of church attendance in the 21st century, the main pushback we get is when people say, “What about community?”

Since this is the number one concern for this question, we might as well address it first.

Most people would agree that humans have a deep need for connection. It may be true for the rest of the universe, but it is certainly true for us. Because of this deep need for connection, we get involved in various organizations, including the church. We can connect with people and leverage resources to undertake other projects there. There is strength in numbers, but there are also pitfalls in groups, and some people would rather not ever be in a group.

When I thought about this deeply, I was a pastor, and I had a lot to lose by accepting that I didn’t necessarily need to go to a building to be spiritual. Home churches were my initial thought. But as a church planter, you just have to have a little success before everyone in the group starts talking about building a church and creating an organization. Then, if it doesn’t become a mega-church, they often split and form smaller groups. We long for connection, but we also realize we only get genuine relationships and healing from smaller groups. Church leaders can try to orchestrate this dance with small group efforts, but I have never really seen it done well, and it takes a lot of energy.

The small groups and larger groups are faux communities. The last two churches we attended after leaving the ministry were good, but like most churches of any respectable size, they weren’t very effective at fostering community. We talked to the same 6-8 people each week, and we never saw them outside of church activities and services. For the record, there is a viable community in some small groups that evolve from churches, but it is usually organic rather than orchestrated. If this defines true community, and community is our biggest concern, we don’t need clergy and staff to orchestrate it for us.

We have a community where we work, live, and have fun. If the community is our main concern, we shouldn’t go to a place or organization that doesn’t effectively foster a sense of community. A community should be diverse, promoting growth, learning, and compassion. It should not be defined by politics.

In our book, Out into the Desert, we discuss all the details of what it takes to run a church and how it spends its money. In summary, 70% of the offerings are allocated to building and staff expenses. Usually, only about 5% to 10% is used for “ministries.” Time is also a critical resource, as much time and energy are spent on keeping the organization running, putting on the Sunday morning (or Saturday) service, and retaining new members before they leave for somewhere else.

But what do they provide? My conclusion is that most of the services performed within the church could be obtained elsewhere for little or no cost. Sometimes you get what you pay for, but services from an organization like a church are almost always overpriced. We donate money, volunteer time, and spend countless hours getting ready and driving to the weekly event. The service, or whatever your tradition calls it, usually features the same people leading it.

Occasionally, we pay for a concert or to listen to a comedian, but I don’t go back every week to the same place, and certainly not to hear the same person or band again. When I need the rush that music and a good speaker can give me, I can find the best in the world and the most memorable performances at my fingertips for free. I also get to experience these things when I am ready, not when the performers are.

There are regulating and comforting aspects of joining a group. There are also pitfalls to organizations because the organization always comes first. I don’t try to tell anyone not to go to church or whatever they call it. However, I encourage people to take a year off from church just to let the addiction wear off and evaluate how they feel and whether they still need the things that the church provides.

Do something positive with the time and money you are saving, and see how you feel spiritually. It may feel a bit strange for a while, but then you’ll find yourself having a casual breakfast mid-morning on Sunday, and you’ll realize you still have community and a more contemplative spiritual practice. You’ll be able to cut out the middleman in your donations to your favorite charity. Your life will be less segregated, and you will have more time to consider nature and the universe, and how you can heal and integrate with everything.

You will also be less fearful because you did something brave and because no one will regularly tell you what to be afraid of. It’s your life, and you can exercise the options that make the most sense to you. However, please don’t make the mistake of choosing what you have already done just because it’s traditional.

Keep asking good questions!

Be where you are, Be who you are, Be at peace!

Karl Forehand

Travel Tips for the Desert – Part 3

Travel Tips for the Desert – Part 2

Travel Tips for the Desert – Part 1

A Stroke and a Song

  Our New Course is ready to review for FREE! Start Here  https://www.youtube.com/embed/LJhjoVf-GSQ YouTube Playlist – click here https://read.amazon.com/kp/card?preview=inline&linkCode=kpd&ref_=k4w_oembed_Xo9DlTCWldjYUB&asin=B0CWMJWY48 Religious Trauma Resources https://thedesertsanctuary.org/treasure-trove/ The Desert Sanctuary Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-desert-sanctuary/id1345562241   Karl Forehand is a former pastor, podcaster, and award-winning author. His books include Out into the Desert, Leaning Forward,  Apparent Faith: What Fatherhood Taught Me About the Father’s Heart, The Tea Shop and Being: A Journey Toward Presence and Authenticity.  He is the creator of The Desert Sanctuary podcast and community.  He is married to his wife Laura of 35 years and has one dog named Winston.  His three children are grown and are beginning to multiply! You can read more about the author here.


Browse Our Archives