Good Questions – Did My Tradition Get it Right?

“The master key of knowledge is, indeed,
a persistent and frequent questioning”
~Peter Abelard
I continue to ask the questions in this series. Many would believe that these questions make us bitter or that we’re just causing problems by asking them. I hope the questions help us evolve into a better state of being. Being outside of organized religion, I can finally hear the whispers and observe the drumbeat of the universe, along with the peace and comfort that I find. I find my comfort not in a finalized belief statement, but in a way of being that continues to question everything.
5. What are the chances that my tradition got everything exactly right?
From what I remember, my family always attended either a Southern Baptist (SBC) or an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) church. IFB churches became more prominent recently when reality TV stars Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar highlighted their cult-like religion and its leader, Bill Gothard, who wasn’t married and didn’t have children but created the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) curriculum used by many homeschoolers. Sex scandals and abusive practices canceled the reality TV show and revealed the toxicity even in the homeschool materials. To avoid triggering survivors, I won’t take the time to recount the many stories we’ve heard on our podcast and through documentaries like Shiny Happy People.
I remember being smug at times when I was a Southern Baptist. We made fun of and pointed fingers at Catholics because they had a lot of abuse scandals. Then, recently, Russell Moore highlighted a cover-up at the executive board level, revealing that over 700 abuse cases in Southern Baptist churches were systematically swept under the rug. Along with my beliefs changing dramatically, I also learned more about the history of my former denomination. The official story is that the Southern Baptist Convention was started by a group of people who wanted to keep being slave owners and separate from their northern counterparts. Today, they continue to double down on their racism, misogyny, homophobia, and toxic belief systems like hell.
You may belong to a less overtly toxic religious tradition, but we Christians are all branches of the same tree. No matter how much we like to think of ourselves as original, we all rely on recreating the past to a certain extent. I experienced this as a church planter. When we thought we were doing something NEW, we later realized that what we created wasn’t very different from what we had before.
When we talk about our traditions and denominations, we assume they have some problems, but we attend the one we think is the most right. Usually, our friends or family members attend there, and we want to be around them. We have not spent much time investigating world religions or other faith practices, so we assume that ours is the best and God is on our side. This allows us to feel justified in whatever practices we choose to implement. When I say, “There are systemic problems in religion,” people respond, “Maybe in your church, but not so much in ours.”
If we are honest, we will realize we are not exposed to enough differing ideas or worldviews to say we have the best one. As the years go by, we become more convinced that our approach is the best and gradually reach the point where we want to punish others for not following our “way.” I encourage everyone to take a hard look at the connection between religious people, wars, and genocide in the world. All these results stem from this basic assumption that we have it right!
I believe theology is the study of forming assumptions about the belief systems of specific religions. The doctrine of the Trinity, widely accepted in Catholicism and Protestantism, didn’t become prevalent until the 2nd century, as it gradually attracted more adherents. Theologians resemble scientists in some ways, but their truths are derived from texts and established assumptions rather than direct observation or experimentation. When one theologian proposes an assumption, it may be accepted and endure for centuries until a new idea captures the followers’ attention.
When this leads to a rift within the congregation, the group separates and establishes new churches and denominations. In the Protestant realm, this explains why tens of thousands of denominations believe they are correct, and that God supports them.
I began to question the validity of my denomination (SBC) after closely examining its outcomes. Observing the surroundings, I noticed several troubling issues. Denominational leaders and prominent pastors projected confidence, but their theological understanding seemed weak when challenged. Although they spoke assertively about God’s sovereignty, they hesitated when faced with straightforward follow-up questions. For instance, “What about victims of abuse?”
One issue is that theologians foster a reliance on their expertise. Audience members receive theology in a formulaic way, along with practical advice on how to live and what to believe. They are discouraged from independent thinking and are asked not to pose too many questions. The organization takes priority, leaving little time for individual needs, inquiries, or concerns. While leaders in churches resemble authoritarian figures in other countries; they oversimplify concepts for the masses while insisting that congregants adhere strictly to their guidance.
I believe this leads to a simplification of the parishioners, making them more susceptible to control. Prioritizing operational concerns and financial obligations overshadows individual needs, as the requirements of the many are subordinated to those of the leaders, ensuring the organization’s survival. With everything dependent on the affirmed beliefs that their members are urged to uphold, safeguarding the doctrinal statement rises to the forefront of their priorities.
After serving as a pastor for two decades, I finally paused to reflect and consider the question posed in this blog. How can I be certain, after traveling the complex path of Christianity, that my denomination made all the correct choices and heeded the insights of the right theologians? As I compared my congregation to the wider world, I frequently noticed that those deemed “sinners” outside our walls often behaved better than those within. Within Christianity, leaders have committed acts of molestation, rape, and substance abuse, and have far too often fallen victim to greed, power, manipulation, and abuse.
Perhaps the crucial fork in the road came at the start when Jesus specifically did NOT instruct anyone to establish a religion or write a holy book that inadequately portrays the historical context, let alone doctrines such as the Trinity. Even during the period when Christianity had only six primary schools of thought, the shifts we experienced were largely influenced by cultural changes rather than universally acknowledged divine interventions. Remarkably, while Jesus is believed to have died on the cross, none of the contemporary historical authors mentioned this event until 60 years after it occurred.
In my view, if we had truly embraced Jesus’ message of loving our neighbors and committed ourselves to this principle, our world would likely be in a much better place. Many of the conclusions drawn by theologians were shaped more by desires for power, control, and cultural factors than by divine inspiration. Emperor Constantine may have had a greater impact on Christianity than Jesus himself when he merged the church with the state in the 4th century.
My decision to leave the pastorate and reevaluate my faith wasn’t whimsical. I wasn’t merely trying to indulge in sin, shirk responsibility, or reject my upbringing and fellow believers. I told Laura, “I can’t continue with this!” Consequently, I stepped down from my church and began an exploration of everything. When corruption was exposed in nearly every evangelical institution in the U.S., it spurred me to question all assumptions and seek truth wherever it might be hidden. Nothing was deemed sacred just because it had persisted for hundreds or thousands of years. Having gained significant insight into how things operate and after deeply studying the scriptures for 20 years, I was ready to discard my long-held beliefs in favor of seeking actual truth rather than merely defending inherited beliefs.
I unearthed insights across various traditions and found simplicity in nature, which illuminated the flaws and contradictions in organized religion. I was always warned that questioning or delving into matters not approved by the church would lead me into a troubling abyss. That never occurred. I now feel morally uplifted, having shed the pretense of accepting beliefs that no longer align with my values. My judgment of others has diminished, and I increasingly advocate for marginalized individuals each day. I’ve healed many past traumas and am learning to trust my intuition and the timely guidance that comes my way.
I empathize with those hesitant to embrace deconstruction. Religion fosters co-dependence, and many individuals within these communities grapple with fear, especially concerning the idea of stepping away, or even just taking a break. While I recognize that taking a year off or beginning to ask questions can be challenging, I assure you that you won’t regret it.
I urge you to stop ignoring your fears and concerns. A well-placed platitude or dismissive comment can be unexpected, and you do not need to agree with every aspect of your religious tradition. All denominations and belief systems likely have flaws. Our conviction does not necessarily make something truer. This tendency to shape God in our image ultimately is unhelpful, as strengthening our faith may reinforce misguided assumptions and beliefs.
As someone who has always had an interest in theology, I can imagine that a person might develop a belief about God or the afterlife. With practice, they could express this belief so convincingly that others would accept it. This phenomenon occurs daily across all kinds of organizations. Over time, as people become more entrenched in this belief, it increasingly transforms in their minds into an unchangeable or diminished idea.
Can you see how beliefs start?
Around 2016, I distanced myself from my denomination and began my journey of deconstruction. I believe that the best approach to this process differs from Stephen Covey’s idea of “Begin with the end in mind.” Deconstruction isn’t about confirming or refuting existing beliefs; it’s about seeking the raw wisdom that has been preserved across various traditions. This is a rewarding journey of exploration.
While some church leaders possess significant wisdom, others are simply individuals who were loyal to their denominations or local parishes and were rewarded for their allegiance. I think the true thinkers in the church are primarily Mystics, often dismissed by the church for their unconventional ideas and their pursuit of profound questions that many believers hesitate to confront.
If you feel compelled to remain within organized religion, think about embarking on a Mystic’s journey to truly experience the Universe, rather than merely accepting your group’s established beliefs.
Keep asking good questions!
Be where you are, Be who you are, Be at peace!
Karl Forehand
Good Questions – Part 3 – Is Church Necessary?
Good Questions – Part 2 – Get Rid of Satan?
Good Questions – Part 1 – A Good Father?
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Karl Forehand is a former pastor, podcaster, and award-winning author. His books include Out into the Desert, Leaning Forward, Apparent Faith: What Fatherhood Taught Me About the Father’s Heart, The Tea Shop and Being: A Journey Toward Presence and Authenticity. He is the creator of The Desert Sanctuary podcast and community. He is married to his wife Laura of 35 years and has one dog named Winston. His three children are grown and are beginning to multiply! You can read more about the author here.