What’s Wrong with Prayer? The first prayer I ever really learned was simple but problematic. It went something like this: Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. There are some assumptions in this rhyming prayer, written in 1781 in New England. To begin with, it assumes that our soul is constantly... Read more
Stop, Drop, and Heal Seven or eight years ago, we began what most people call deconstruction. Laura was silent about it because I was a pastor, and she did not want to interfere with my ministry. We attended a larger church for a couple of years, but almost immediately, we began to question everything and eventually, our questions were bigger than the place we found ourselves. While questioning everything, I discovered a process that helped me address my inner child... Read more
Usurping Women’s Voices from the Patriarchy Sherri Bothwell was introduced to Christianity as an 11-year-old child. As a result of the trauma she endured as a woman, she began working with abused women and children. Hearing their courageous stories, she faced her questions and shared her own story of abuse, and because of patriarchal Christian men, she eventually walked away from the faith. Her speech is Usurping Women’s Voices from the Patriarchy. I was lucky to create a Leaning Forward... Read more
Trauma and the Pastor’s Wife Laura Forehand is a third-grade teacher and former pastor’s wife. She is an advocate for trauma-informed classrooms and an executive board member for Whole Brain Teaching. She and her partner, Karl, formed The Desert Sanctuary, which includes a blog, a podcast, and their best-selling books. I was lucky to create a Leaning Forward conference with all these women and their wisdom! Leaning Forward is the title of a book by Karl and Laura Forehand about... Read more
The Value of Compassion I still remember where I was when terrorists attacked the World Trade Centers on September 11, 2001. I was a pastor at my first church and sitting in the office. Technology was not what it is today, but it was easy to find coverage and immediately I was fielding calls and trying to make sense of what we saw repeatedly on television for the next few days. Three days later, President Bush addressed the nation and... Read more
Good Questions – Part 2 – Get Rid of Satan? “A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.” Francis Bacon My deconstruction began when I started asking questions. The questions weren’t the regular softball questions we asked Sunday school teachers which propped up what the teacher was already trying to assert. These questions caused the rest of the class to groan, mumble, and most likely, talk about me behind my back. I continue to ask the questions in this series.... Read more
Reclaiming Married Sex from Purity Culture Megan Benninger has survived spiritual abuse in a variety of institutional settings, including a religious cult and a Southern Baptist church. She and her partner founded Baptist Accountability, an online database that tracks abuse within Baptist churches. Megan works tirelessly to educate others about spiritual and sexual abuse within churches and religious organizations. I was lucky to create a Leaning Forward conference with all these women and their wisdom! Leaning Forward is the title of... Read more
How to Speak Women Susan Cottrell is an international speaker whose TEDx talk has 1.6 million views. OutSmart magazine called her “The Mother of All MamaBears.” The Advocate dubbed her “our favorite affirming matriarch.” She is a prominent voice for the LGBTQ community and their faith parents who have been featured on ABC’s 20/20, Nightline, and Good Morning America, on NBC News Out I was lucky to create a Leaning Forward conference with all these women and their wisdom! Leaning Forward... Read more
Why Worship is NOT Necessary Worship was important to me in fundamentalist, evangelicalism. My congregations considered the worship service primary. As you know, it included public prayer, recitation, music, and then a sermon. This was what we considered corporate worship, although we acknowledged that a person could worship anywhere. Worship was one of the big five purposes of the church. We were hoping to praise and acknowledge God for who He is. Sometimes public worship was very moving for me,... Read more
Trauma and the Black Community Nikki G. is a Life Coach and Advanced Certified Trauma Recovery Coach (in training) who helps survivors recover and thrive after Narcissistic Abuse, Religious Trauma, Spiritual Abuse, and cult involvement or High Demand Groups. I was lucky to create a Leaning Forward conference with all these women and their wisdom! Leaning Forward is the title of a book by Karl and Laura Forehand about moving beyond the confines of organized religion. It is also the title of an... Read more
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