A few days ago, someone said “I will pray for you, Karl.” They weren’t saying it because they were concerned for me, they were saying it because they disagreed with me and they wanted me to come back into their “fold.” It’s a way of gas lighting and bypassing because it means “You are obviously wrong and only God could save you.” Since I see prayer a little differently these days, and I don’t like to use it in manipulative... Read more
The band R.E.M. had a song called “Losing My Religion” In the early ’90s. The phrase refers to losing our temper and doing things that would cause us to no longer be accepted by traditional churches. The idea is that I’m going to get so mad at you that I do things that up till now I kept under control. But that’s not what we’re talking about in the modern discussion of losing our religion. We’re not talking about making... Read more
I know the metaphor doesn’t make much sense, but I wanted to get your attention and ask for your help. Recently, our new book, Out Into the Desert reached best seller status. Help us ride the wave by sharing this amazing news with people you know. Good News! The Kindle version is 99 cents for a limited time! Description of the book: Sometimes when we begin to question our faith or have doubts about our tradition, it can feel like... Read more
Last night, Laura and I recorded a podcast where we were reviewing one of my blogs about simple spirituality. One of the statements I made in that blog was “maybe instead of listening to sermons we should have been listening to each other. ” Early on in my deconstruction, I heard a person named Sarah Styles Bessey say, “the church didn’t have room for my grief.” It deeply impacted our deconstruction. We wanted to talk to her about this on... Read more
Photo by Element5I live in a county that is 75/25 one way. For issues like state representatives, local officials and representatives of our district, if you’re on the “wrong” side, it’s hard to “win.” I guess it could be a little discouraging even on the “right” side. I mean,.does my vote matter? Laura and I were the first to vote today, number one and number two. So for about 5 minutes at least, everything in Atchison County, MO was going... Read more
Very much of how we navigate this life could be attributed to the culture of our homeland, the religion of our parents, and the friends we hang out with. If we were born in a different place, we might be exposed to different religious influences, and had different friends, we would most likely believe and act differently. A podcast I listened to yesterday described it as “the water we swim in.” These influences are accepted by us unconsciously. Some of... Read more
Even though I tend to avoid creeds and belief statements and organized religion these days, the questions still come up all the time. Such as: – What do we do now? – What are your practices? – How do we proceed? Maybe a better question is “What does spirituality look like as we evolve towards a better future?” This is what I think. 1. Go inside and be at peace trust yourself Religion taught not to trust what we feel... Read more
Photo by Admiral General For about 20 years, Laura and I were in ministry as a pastor and church planter. I was pretty good at taking over struggling churches and revitalizing/replanting them and making them viable. One of the main things I would do is blend into the community and then introduce them to some fresh approaches. At the last church, we renamed the church because it was a legacy Church. I installed an overhead projector, developed a praise and... Read more
When we begin to question our beliefs or go through deconstruction, eventually we realize we have evolved past what we once accepted. I remember thinking, “that seems silly to me now,” and then I felt guilty for feeling that. Once we change a few beliefs and begin questioning practices, we can quickly feel alienated. Laura and I describe that it feels like we are wandering “out into the desert.” Because religions also employ complicated systems of fear and control, their... Read more
(Adapted from my blog on Patheos) Before we even get started, let me just say this. I know that many of you might have had good experiences with your church. It’s better than a fundamentalist, evangelical church that you know of and you are more accepting, affirming and generally more progressive. I get that–there is a church like that across the street. If it didn’t trigger us because of our trauma, we would probably attend there. I hope Pastor Donna... Read more
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