Yesterday, I talked about how I started to evolve out of fear-based parenting. Usually my bad decisions were rooted in fear. If you haven’t read it yet, go back and read it now – part 1. But, through all our struggles we managed to discover a few things that we did right. Learning to be Brave My dad never learned to swim. My grandpa is a person I am connected with spiritually in some strange metaphysical way. I can literally... Read more
I was kneeling down over a flower bed when I noticed my daughter standing next to me. She was poised like she wanted to talk, so I just sat back on the grass. Lily was facing me directly with her hands on her hips, and then, she let me have it! For a few years, I had been telling people that I was paddling my man boat through the estrogen sea, because I had two teenage daughters and I had... Read more
Before we even get started, let me just say this. I know that many of you might have had good experiences with your church. It’s better than a fundamentalist, evangelical church that you know of and you are more accepting, affirming and generally more progressive. I get that–there is a church like that across the street. If it didn’t trigger us because of our trauma, we would probably attend there. I hope Pastor Donna is reading. I am not saying... Read more
Spiritual formation means different things to different streams of faith. Some have more stringent programs and processes to confirm learners to their understanding of spirituality while others might call it discipleship or disciple-making. Most belief systems have some process to form their disciples into a more cohesive group that believes and understands the same things about God and how the world works. I come from a tradition that called it discipleship and every Tom, Dick and Harry had an idea how to do that. They incorporated... Read more
by Laura Forehand Being a Mimi is one of the quintessential joys of my life. This season began with me four years ago with the birth of our first grandchild, Hollyn. About the same time, ironically, I began my deconstruction journey from church, religion, evangelicalism, and God. With that deconstruction came hours of focusing sessions with Dr. Paul Fitzgerald and hundreds of hours of real and raw conversations with my husband Karl. Much of my focusing has to do with... Read more
I think I inherited my inner hoarder from my mother and I think she got if from her depression-era ancestors. Something in us tends to be afraid that we will need those things somewhere down the road. I have a few pallets of stuff in the garage that I haven’t looked at or touched since we moved here 5 years ago. I assume, it must be important because we expended the energy to drag it along from our previous address,... Read more
It is probably true that mot of what we teach our children is by the example we set. It seems they watch us more than they hear us, and actions do speak louder than words. But, if we are intentional and we provide a good example, we may even teach them something that we intended to in the this big ole’ crazy world (reference to John Prine). For me, one of the primary lessons I wanted my children to learn... Read more
My wife, Laura Forehand, is a very experienced teacher and competent in Whole Brain Teaching. It’s a classroom management methodology that is very effective at engaging the student and making the learning environment effective. She learned it one summer by reading the book by Chris Biffle called “Whole Brain Teaching for Challenging Kids. If you want more information, the best place to start might be the Facebook Page or the website. I always ask Laura if I can come to class with her... Read more
This my grandson, Jackson Bennett Holmes. I used to call him J.B., but now we call him Jack. It reminds me that there is this new thing going on where grandparents name themselves. For instance, our names are Mimi and Papa even though I dreamed about being called, “Grandpa.” Whatever happened to that and why didn’t I get consulted on this thing? Anyway, Jackson is staying over for a day or so and last night I got to sit with him... Read more
“Hello, I’m Karl and I’m an Evangelical Christian.” “Hi Karl.” Although I probably wouldn’t actually call myself a Christian, I think it is extremely important to realize that Evangelical Christianity is my root belief system that formed me from an earlier age. It is my framework for organizing my beliefs, it is the originating source of my worldview, and it is the backdrop of much of my trauma. I can’t just dismiss any of that and move on to something... Read more
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