Happy Birthday

Today is National Coming Out Day; for those who are using today to tell the world who you are – whether it’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or as an ally – stand tall, it matters – you matter. Your voice matters, your presence matters, your support matter. Standing for who you are, who the Divine created, is finding your life, your spirit, your voice – it’s what I see as “being born from above,” you’re connecting with the you the Divine created – and that’s beautiful.

Yet, if I’m honest with myself, I have to say I have a hard time with a National Coming Out Day. My inner struggle on such a day comes from the core of my faith, that centers wholly on love, and the teachings of Christ. You see [work with me here, I am still processing feelings into words], who you are, is who you are – coming out seems rather weird, you are simply who the Divine created. I know, this inner feeling comes from the fact that I was born a straight male. While I’ve been an ally for a very long time, coming out as an ally is not the same – all I lose are a few fundie friends, and I piss off some others with my views – but I’m not pushed aside, kicked out of my home, or confronted with people telling me I am going to hell [most of the time] – all I get are people telling me I’m misguided. While being honest, I have to say even though I may get into a few arguments, my safety is never in question; culture, and religion never truly condemn me, they question me, but never condemn. So, on the one side I see the need for the Day – a corporate support system, where people who will support those who are – and I love that.

The hard part, for me, is found in the idea that we need such a day. The whole concept of coming out causes knots to form in my gut – I never had to come out because culture simply assumed my sexuality, and I moved on in life. I never had to stand before my parents and proclaim I’m Straight, and wonder if I would have a place to sleep that night. It just never happened. Culture, religion, society, never placed on me the responsibility that I had to come out – I was simply born out – my coming out day was the day of my birthday – the assumptions of the social norm was something I never had to address.

The idea of coming out carries so much baggage, crap, that many just don’t get.

Coming out indicates someone has something to hide –
Coming out indicates someone has been living alone –
Coming out indicates someone has something to fear –
Coming out indicates that someone lives in fear –

I pray for the time in our world, our cultures, our religions, were assumptions are not made about individuals and where coming out days, is simply seen as being born.

If you are coming out today, birthday.