Thank you, depression and ADHD

Dear Dissonance,

I am pleased to learn of the hostilities between your patient and her mother and the long-standing nature of them. The more years each side has invested in winning, the less likely either one will want to resolve their differences.

You must start to work on her immediately before the Enemy makes the corrosive nature (only in His mind, of course) of their conflict apparent. The last thing you want is her newfound interest in faith to change her behavior. Stay in close touch with her mother’s tempter, Muddle, to maximize the number of piques on daily phone calls and cement the pattern of talking without listening on both sides. Make sure Muddle prompts her mother to call frequently during working hours so as to maximize your patient’s irritability with her as she is constantly on work deadlines.

Keep her mind on her inner faith. Right now she thinks of her re-conversion as an intellectual and spiritual change. That is where it should stay. We do not want your patient to stop reading email while she speaks with her mother or automatically reject each suggestion by her as is her habit. Those practices must stay hidden from self-assessment. The fact that they do not live near one another should make this easier since your patient can compartmentalize her behavior as a tiny diversion from a generally honorable life. The simmering resentment she feels toward her mother for decades of erratic and unreliable behavior informs every part of her being.

You can probably not stop your patient from praying for her mother, at least occasionally. But you can influence the content of it. Make them vague prayers for her well-being and health instead of specific ones for her to be able to forgive her for the things she has said while drunk or for her self-exiled parent to make friends.

That will make it easier to maintain her snippy attitude toward her mother as she will not be invested in changing herself or in the true well being of her mother.

When they are together, urge your patient to argue with her mother with facts. We all know those types of arguments go nowhere with her, as she exists in an alternative world, exacerbated by her isolation and years of untreated chemical imbalances in her brain. What the exponential rise of mental health issues in the past generation has generated for our side!

Either treated or untreated, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder… make it much easier to undo marriages, friendships and relationships and prevent people from reaching their full potential. It is one of our Father’s top directives to exacerbate any symptoms of those disorders to maximize his return on souls. He is also a big fan of syndromes. I find it so amusing that even when hateful movies like “The Incredibles” come along to reveal our work in this area, no one seems to care. It’s like America is almost totally filled with not only low-information voters, but minds!

I must admit I never tire of hearing the countless stories about children diagnosed with ADD or ADHD who refuse to do homework or obey their parents because of their diagnosis. The sheer volume of these children guarantees a generation of adults who do not take responsibility for themselves!

It’s thrilling knowing it is already happening. Have you seen the study showing America’s college freshmen believe they are more talented, smarter and better leaders than previous generations even though test scores show that to be false? But I digress.

The most important aspect of the mass diagnoses of these diseases speaks to an auspicious change in American culture for us. It is as if all children’s behavior is being judged by the standard of girls’ behavior. So when boys can’t sit still, or don’t listen, or fidget, parents and teachers don’t send them out to play, they send them to the doctor’s office! This almost guarantees mass confusion in boys who will be taught that there natural tendencies are actually medical problems or criminal behavior. Have you seen all those children suspended and expelled for bringing toy guns to school, for example?

Many of them are also taking powerful drugs that stunt their growth, make them shorter or thinner or heavier than they otherwise would be and often negatively impact their moods. What fertile ground to exploit. We’ll discuss this more over the holidays as it is such a festive topic.

Back to your patient. Let her never get past the fact that she will never have a ‘real’ mother again. Let her argue as if that person exists and just needs to see the truth. We know that will never happen, but the longer you can prolong your patient’s ignorance or denial, as I am not sure which it is at this point, the better. The anger that wells up in your patient as a result of those conversations will prevent the Enemy from truly changing her heart.

Your affectionate aunt,

Pandemonium