What If You Believed In You Like You Believe In God?

What If You Believed In You Like You Believe In God? May 15, 2023

*Editor’s Note: This is a contribution from Desimber Rose, author of The Church Can Go To Hell, and cohost of Heretic Happy Hour


I love the practice of law. I have successfully filed, defended, won and settled five lawsuits as a Pro Se Plaintiff (Pro Se = Self Represented). I defended and won a major case involving my prior church as a defendant, this resulted in the church retaining ownership of its building and 23 acres of property valued at nearly $1,000,000. I currently have two cases pending in court that are headed toward settlement (because Try Jesus, Not Me).

I began in this arena as a Compliance Analyst, then promoted to Litigation Specialist, then Assistant to Corporate Counsel at Resurgent Capital Services, where I was akin to a paralegal and acted as a witness for the company in hearings and depositions. Beyond my training at Resurgent, I am self taught in the ways of the court and know my way around civil procedure pretty well. However, I am not a licensed attorney. One of my pending cases I filed Pro Se but later had to retain an attorney because I could not represent my company Pro Se, a company must be represented by an attorney. The opposing attorney tried to have my case dismissed on this sole technicality.

So what happened? I asked for a continuance and retained an attorney. What happened next? I sent him all my records and editable files, including the suit I filed. The attorney made a few revisions, and by few I mean Literally 2 or 3 sentences, took my name off, put his name on, and re-filed the suit… the same exact lawsuit. Boom, good to go.

Why am I sharing this? It doesn’t matter what you know how to do, or how well you do it. There are certain doors and levels of access and opportunity that Only come with time, diligence, submission and adherence to the authority governing the practice and jurisdiction in which you seek to move, access and operate.

I am reminded of an account in Acts 19:13-16, where the scriptures say some “itinerant Jewish exorcists” as well as “seven sons of Sceva” took it upon themselves to “call the name of the Lord Jesus over those who had evil spirits, saying, ‘We exorcize you by the Jesus whom Paul preaches.”

To which the spirit responds, “Jesus I know, and Paul I know; but who are you?” Then the scriptures say the spirits proceeded to open up a can of whoop-azz on them fools (that’s the Desimber International Version). The Scriptures say “they fled out of that house naked and wounded.” As we like to say in my neck of the woods,” They got beat like they stole something”… because they did. They sought to walk in a triumph they neither toiled nor tarred for. The attempt itself was an act of theft and deception.

I perceive that the so-called “Itinerant Jews” were religious opportunists. You’ve seen them…

Trying to get on a mic and in front of a camera any way, anywhere and by any means necessary. Always trying to ride the coattails of somebody else’s season without the seasoning it took that person to get there. They love name dropping to make themselves seem more important than they are. These are the kind that will call You and ask or tell YOU why THEY need to be on the roster of YOUR conference or revival. They don’t wait for an invitation, they seat themselves in the high places. They usually move slow but talk fast, where I’m from we call this a “flim flam spirit”. They speak the name of Jesus but it has no power.

Then there are the Sons of Sceva, who maybe thought they would somehow have the authority to use Jesus’ name because their father was a Jewish Priest. Perhaps they figured they were anointed by association. You’ve seen them… They sit and stand with the pastor. They have a position in leadership but usually lack interpersonal skills and have an acute sense of entitlement and air of arrogance about them. They claim to walk heavy but carry no weight in the Spirit. Usually they’re home life and households are more torn up than the streets. The pastor usually knows this but most times they are a keeper of the secrets and improprieties of the pastor as well so they’re endorsed by the Pastor but estranged from God. They clean up nice for those who can’t see them. But, those who can see… see them. They preach the name of Jesus but it has no power.

Then, there are the disciples. They walked with Christ, they sat at his feet and learned of Him, they served the people, they even performed miracles and cast out demons. They spoke, preached, and used the name of Jesus with authority. They were bona fide … and yet, when confronted with a certain spirit having possessed a young boy, they ran into a roadblock. The Scriptures say the boy’s mother approached Jesus and told him, “I brought him to Your disciples, but they could not cure him.” So Jesus had a few words (if you want the tea read Matthew 17:14-21)… then he rebuked the demon, it came out and the boy was healed immediately.

After the woman had left the disciples asked Jesus “Why could we not cast it out?” To which Jesus responded that it was because of their unbelief. But there was a caveat, another prerequisite for this situation. Jesus further stated, “However, this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.” In other words, yes you’ve been with me, yes you walk with me, yes you believe in me, and yes you have a relationship with me that empowers you to deploy my name with authority. And while it has yielded results for you in the past, where you’re headed requires more.

Allow me to minister to you as I minister to myself.  In this season, you may have to empty out to get your weight up in the Spirit. Jesus said, this kind comes out by “prayer and fasting.” Now why would they require more prayer when they are literally walking with God in the flesh? I perceive this means an open and clear channel of communication with God. Maybe you have service but you’re “roaming” outside the coverage area. You have not stepped out of the will but somewhere you’ve gotten in the way. You need to shift. Then there is fasting, which commonly refers to food but I believe can mean many things today. We can fast from people, places, and things – things that are not lined up with our pursuit of peace and abundant Life,  people who do not compliment our Purpose, places that provoke past versions of ourselves and call up our lower being. When the conditions are right (as in wrong), everyone has the capacity to go low, no matter how high they’ve been. And yes, perhaps we need to fast literally, exercise some discipline, and silence our flesh. I have found that it gets rowdy and entitled when I give it everything it wants. Can you relate?

Take notice that the spirit did not beat the disciples, but the disciples did not beat the spirit either. In the world of sports this would be considered a draw, a stalemate. Neither side winning, and neither side losing. The bell has sounded and no victor will be declared, just a record made that the battle happened. It wasn’t that they didn’t have any power, it was that they didn’t have enough. They had enough power to get the spirit to be still and silent, but not enough power to make the spirit submit. They had enough power to make the spirit listen but not enough to make it leave. This is stagnation. This is moving but not progressing. This is climbing but not rising. This is sleeping but not resting.

We have read in the Scriptures that “To whom much is given, much is required.” If you are experiencing a draw… stagnation in your business, ministry, marriage, goals… perhaps more is required of you. Maybe you believe in God, but not yourself. I think the disciples and I have something in common. I have complete faith in God, but as it concerns what I am able to do by faith, I am sometimes lacking. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I am capable, but I often question whether or not I am able. You might ask, aren’t these the same? No. One pertains to capacity, the other pertains to confidence. You can have limitless capacity, but your ability to execute at the level of your capabilities is limited by your confidence.

I will say like Paul did, “this is me Desimber speaking”… which is to say, the scriptures do not make this clear, but I perceive that the Disciples, having been confronted with an unusual demonic manifestation, did not lack any faith in the name of Jesus, or why else would they have used it? But they lacked faith in their ability to utilize Christ’s name in the capacity required for this boy’s condition to change. Simply put, they did not believe in themselves. Furthermore, their flesh was too full and too loud to make up the difference. It has been my experience that when I am empty, I am more focused and seem to be able to accomplish things I questioned were possible.

What if you believed in you like you believe in God? I am not advocating for heresy, I am saying what if you maxed out your confidence in you like you’ve maxed out your faith in God? What then could you accomplish? Maybe you could move mountains. Go back and read Matthew 17:20 again, it says, “…if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.” It does not say nothing would be impossible for God… for this is understood… it says nothing will be impossible for YOU.

The attorney who took my case read the complaint I filed with the court, and his response was, “Wow! You should be an attorney.” I have had other attorneys tell me I’ve missed my call. But, I do not think I have. I am an author, poet, and teacher. I’m pretty sure I’m in my lane, and yet, I wonder if I should go back to college to get a Juris Doctorate. However, I don’t think I have the patience. Unless and until that happens, I am OK with yielding my gift to those with the patience and perseverance to pass the Bar. I will allow the one who has the authority to move, access, and operate in that jurisdiction to represent me, because I understand, while I am on the right side of the law in the matter, more is required for the victory.


To keep up with Desimber Rose, check out her social media links:

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