I wanted to start karate lessons at thirteen when I saw Ralph Macchio kick the bad guy in the face to win that tournament. I still remember the way Elisabeth Shue rushed out of the crowd to congratulate him. When I saw the Karate kid, I wanted to be the Karate kid. I did not immediately begin my studies of the martial arts. Instead, I put it off about thirty years. When I eventually started, I found that even decades... Read more
THE MODERN BLINDNESS People in our day assume we are different from all those who came before. We’ve been taught to believe that we’ve progressed beyond the backward ways, prejudicial outlooks and silly superstitions of our ancestors. They have, many of us are convinced, nothing to say to us. Should we somehow travel back in time and have the opportunity to meet them, we’re sure it is we, not they, who should do most of the talking. This assumption is,... Read more
We think we have it easy. People in times past worked harder than we do, that’s for sure. Even simple tasks, like filling a bathtub with warm water or baking a loaf of bread, once required a great deal more labor than they do now. Now, of course, we just turn a lever, or press a button. When hungry, we grab a bag from the freezer, drop it in the microwave. Daily life requires much less of us in terms... Read more
I heard from a friend on Facebook the other day. Before long we were swapping memories, reminiscing about people we knew and experiences once shared. I could do that stuff for hours. The pleasure of looking backward is, for me, almost inexhaustible. Little tops the thrill of suddenly remembering some incident that had been covered over with the detritus of time, of taking it out, shaking the dust off and letting it sit again for a while on the front... Read more
There’s no shortage of advice to men online about how to be successful with women. A good bit of it though comes wrapped in packaging that bothers some. PUA-style blogs emphasize techniques for impressing women, for generating attraction for the sole purpose of getting her home and into your bed. These writers put off a lot of people, especially when they take an amoral or callous approach to sex and women’s feelings. That too bad. At the core of most... Read more
Let me offer you this one question quiz to help you determine whether you are a knucklehead: Have you ever loaded a bison into the trunk of your car because you thought it was cold? If you answered no, congratulations! You are not a knucklehead. If you answered yes, you must be one of the two recent visitors to Yellowstone who did precisely this. A couple of unnamed tourists, a father and son, recently loaded a baby bison into the... Read more
Let’s start with the bad news. You’re never going to be good enough. No matter how much you try, no matter how smart you are, no matter how alert, no matter how sensitive, no matter how suave. Sooner or later, you’re going to fumble and let somebody down. You’re bound to be a disappointment. It is the way of the world. But, the fact that someone feels disappointed with you, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s your fault. Maybe it is. Maybe... Read more
Our society is floundering because we lack leaders. Men, called to lead themselves and others, instead of offering wise and clear direction to those in their charge, sit back and chill. By doing this, they send the message that it’s every man for himself and any option, any choice, any behavior is as good as every other. Mark Braivo describes such a situation in this post. A volunteer coach on his kids’ soccer team refused to offer clear direction to... Read more
There is a reason you don’t get much done. It’s not that you don’t have time. It’s not that you can’t manage the time you have. It’s not even that you are easily distracted. These all might seem to be the case, but they aren’t really the problem, not the ultimate problem at least. Your ultimate problem is this: getting things done is hard, and you just don’t like doing hard things. I know it’s true for you because it’s... Read more
If you want a girlfriend, there is nothing worse for you than fretting about getting a girlfriend. When you meet a woman you like, nothing will undermine your game as much as worrying about whether she likes you. The best thing is not to wonder at all. Most guys, however, make this mistake. I certainly made it. More than once. The regular pattern goes something like this: You meet a girl. She’s pretty. You have reasonable assurance that she is... Read more
The Road Home
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