Prayer paralyzes me. It’s just too much. Too many people in need. Too many world events to consider. Too many personal needs and wants. Too many “oughts” and “shoulds” inside my head. And too many other things, practical things, to get done. Which is exactly why I need to pray, not as I ought, but as I am. A few weeks ago, I submitted, once again, to this reality. I had a stack of about 20 prayer cards filled with... Read more
Penny will have surgery on her eyes and ears next week, on February 17th. She’s had a few minor surgeries before–tubes in her ears twice, a heart procedure when she was 14 months old, stints placed in her tear ducts to help them open up. But this will be the first time that she’s aware of what’s happening ahead of time. “I don’t want surgery, Mom,” she tells me, often. It’s also the first time I’ve been told to expect... Read more
As those of you who have read A Good and Perfect Gift know (and, I suspect, as those of you who read this blog regularly also know), I struggle with perfectionism. Having Penny, our six year old daughter with Down syndrome, in our lives, has offered us an opportunity to rethink perfection, among other things. Recently, I spoke with Bob Wells of Duke Divinity School’s Faith and Leadership Institute about Penny, perfection, leadership, and the church. A few excerpts from... Read more
It’s easy to find problems with religion. As I write in “Why I Am Both Spiritual and Religious,” Religious texts have been used to justify everything from slavery to homophobia to abusive relationships. Religious people in positions of power have abused that power and harmed others, including children. There have never been any “spirituality wars,” but conflict in the name of religion has often escalated into violence and has claimed countless lives. For many, religion is synonymous with rigidity, exclusion,... Read more
My friend Sara Hagerty, who writes about her family of four children (three girls and a boy adopted from Ethiopia and Uganda) on the blog Every Bitter Thing is Sweet, has written two posts about their daughter Hope. Yes, these are posts about adoption, but they say as much about parenting and about how we might learn for ourselves and teach to our children the truth of who they are, the truth of God’s unending love for them. In “Losing... Read more
That baby on the cover of “Why I’m Both Spiritual and Religious” is, yes, our son. William cried a lot as a baby, and he cried a lot in the night. Sometimes he screamed so hard I wondered if he might hyperventilate. And I remember one night, when I was traveling alone with him, rocking him for the third or fourth time, praying that he would go back to sleep. But all of a sudden my prayer changed. I simply... Read more
This interview appeared in a newsletter for Tiny Tots Therapy: As an author & mother, what gave you the strength to share your personal story? When Penny was diagnosed with Down syndrome a few hours after birth, I didn’t know how to respond. Over the course of the next year, I think I experienced every possible emotion–sadness, joy, anger, acceptance, guilt, peace–and I wrote in my journal about each of those emotions. Over time, I wrote about these feelings on a... Read more
You’re stressed out. You’re overwhelmed. You’re running to catch up. You’re amazed that there is yet another load of laundry to fold. Or maybe I should be writing this in the first person. Here’s the scenario of our past few days: Our babysitter is sick. William threw up (not only did he throw up, but then Peter picked him up and promptly slipped in the vomit so both of them ended up on the floor and, well, you can imagine... Read more
Marilee (pronounced “merrily”) turns one today. As I wrote in our Christmas letter: Her name fits her well, as she is the happiest baby we’ve ever known. We often remark that she must sneak out at night and take classes in how to be cute. She claps readily, giggles at her older brother and sister, coos and snuggles and generally endears herself to us daily. We’re very glad she’s here. In some ways, our kids have all taught us the... Read more
Cary Umhau, co-creator of a very cool website (and more) called Spacious, has written twice about A Good and Perfect Gift this past week. In her first post, “People with _________ just aren’t my thing” she challenges herself, and her readers: What I had to wrestle with while reading this book is this: “What categories of people do I ignore or avoid, not acknowledge the existence of, or refuse to get to know?” and “About whom do I say, ‘Being with... Read more
Thin Places-Faith, Family and Disability
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In