“My bags are packed, I’m ready to go . . .” People of a certain age may recognize this song, “Leavin’ on a Jet Plane”—and the mixed joy and sorrow it brings. Yes, I’m leaving—and on a jet plane, but just for three months. This is a long-planned Sabbatical which is intended to give me rest with time to heal, write and pray, plus spend time with my very scattered family whom I rarely get to see. Today was my... Read more
Early morning: fearful. Bleeding heavily. Should not be. Mid morning: relief: Yes, it was a huge tumor (baseball sized), and yes embedded in the wall of the uterus, but definitely contained and benign in nature and now I am forever free of it. Also relieving: I’ve torn a stitch, but have not (yet) put a hole where there should not be one. Mid morning: warned: I listened to stern words: activity level must decrease immediately and stay that way for... Read more
It has been a strange week. Still in brain fog most of the time from the anesthesia of surgery coupled with some fairly strong pain relievers, I found myself more physically still than I can ever remember. Time for the life of the mind with reflective thought delights me, but my best thinking seems to take place when my physical body is in action—walking, gardening, doing routine pedestrian but necessary tasks. Most of those activities had to be set down... Read more
Last Friday, little robotic instruments nibbled their way through my abdomen, giving light, snipping and cauterizing while the physician manipulated them with 3D visual accuracy. Four puncture wounds and a couple of hours of highly skilled work later and all was done. Except for the healing. Yes, except for that one little fact: it still hurts and I must be careful. It would be easy to undo all that expert precision by a precipitous return to work—or to garden. Apparently,... Read more
Dear Readers, Thanks for all the prayers and offer of help as I go into this health journey. Below is a peek into the recesses of my brain. Keep in mind that the Rational Brain (RB) is fully aware of the grace and love of God. The Primitive Brain (PB) still awaits full redemption! RB, “Isn’t modern medicine wonderful? I’m in the hands of caring, skilled medical personnel who will competently walk me through this.” PB, “Run! Fast!” RB, “It... Read more
For Maundy Thursday, I invited those who were interested to do a “reader’s theater” session using a chapter from Dorothy Sayers’ classic play, The Man Born to be King. This play, the story of the life of Jesus, was aired in serial form over BBC radio during WWII in Great Britain and captured the heart of that entire country during those dark days. The particular chapter we read took us through the last supper, through the betrayal by Judas and... Read more
Last night at our Midweek Miracle program for children and youth, I invited them to act out parts of the passion week story as I told it to them again. Several of the older youth “arrest” Jesus while the high priests stand off to the side, nodding with approval. Although the children occasionally mugged a bit for the audience, the prevailing mood was somber and serious. This was no laughing matter. The Jesus they talk about frequently had just been... Read more
About a year ago, I was introduced to Paleo eating, and removed all wheat and grain products from my diet and most dairy (I’ve long been lactose intolerant anyway). It was and is a challenging way to eat. It also dropped my blood pressure 30 points, and left me with perfect blood sugar and cholesterol counts (despite intentionally eating a high proportion of saturated fats and a lot of eggs), and reversed what had been a galloping movement toward an... Read more
“The biopsy was inconclusive.” My reaction to these words show me again how much I want certainty. But certainty is not to be. No closure, no absolute answer, no clear direction. I must make a decision with incomplete evidence. Hardly a new experience in the scheme of human history. The idea of “closure” is part of the fantasy of certainty. Closure implies perfect release, decisions made on 100% evidence, freedom from second-guessing. Frankly, very little crossover with reality there. Reality... Read more
Rev. Frederick Schmidt, who blogs at Patheos, wrote some words in a post about the Archbishop of Canterbury which describe better the challenges of pastoral leadership better than any I’ve seen before. I’m quoting large parts of his latest post, bolding the sentences that hit me the hardest, because he says so well what I’ve been thinking that I want to make sure I can read these words again the next time I become completely discouraged in my life as pastor:... Read more
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