Note: this is an excerpt from An Ordinary Death: Where Grief and Relief Hold Hands, available from Amazon.com. Very rough four hours. As would be right for my mother, since she didn’t live normally, she also can’t die normally. Late this afternoon, she began to regurgitate something. I think. It all started just about the time we had a three hour period when, for complex scheduling reasons, we would not have a hospice caregiver with us. By the grace of... Read more
[note: this is part of a series of posts I made when my mother was dying. Because of world-wide interest in the posts, I published them along with other reflections on the dying process in this book: An Ordinary Death.] My brother, sister and I have all agreed that sitting around looking at each other just waiting for Mother to pass is not the best of ideas during these days. Keeping busy as much as possible helps all of us.... Read more
Mother still breathes, and still moves steadily toward the end of her life, but at her own pace. That makes sense, as she most definitely lived her life at her own pace, which, for the most part, was at high speed. My parent’s house sits on a golf course in Richardson. They had built it 25 years ago when it was time for them to move out of their aging house in Lakewood and get into something more convenient and... Read more
Note: this is an excerpt from An Ordinary Death: Where Grief and Relief Hold Hands, available from Amazon.com. Mother’s breathing has changed dramatically from this morning. The Hospice nurse came by around noon and confirmed what I had already surmised: the end is coming quickly for her. There is no longer even a hint of consciousness, nor of pain or discomfort. Just air going in and out of her lungs until her heart finally gives out from the effort. I’ve... Read more
Note: this is an excerpt from An Ordinary Death: Where Grief and Relief Hold Hands, available from Amazon.com. It dawned on me early this morning after another restless night how very, very alone my mother was during the final days before her own mother’s death. I found her account of it last night and posted part of it here. From the Tuesday night stroke until the Friday afternoon frantic phone calls, she went through this absolutely alone. I assume my... Read more
Note: this is an excerpt from An Ordinary Death: Where Grief and Relief Hold Hands, available from Amazon.com. Early this evening I realized that tomorrow is trash/recycle day here in Richardson, so decided to clean out a few more cabinets and shelves to take advantage of a chance to get more things out of the house and garage. Old telephone books: out they go. Piles of spiral notebooks that mother used for her unending to do lists: into the blue... Read more
Note: this is an excerpt from An Ordinary Death: Where Grief and Relief Hold Hands, available from Amazon.com. I’ve been gone a couple of hours and just returned home. My brother and sister are here and told me, “Blog about Nicci: She’s taking wonderful care of Mother.” If you’ve been reading this blog, you know that I’ve been frustrated about not being able to get back onto continuous care after Mother had that additional stroke Monday night. I know it... Read more
Note: this is an excerpt from An Ordinary Death: Where Grief and Relief Hold Hands, available from Amazon.com. As Mother comes closer and closer to her final moments on earth (probably two to three more days: we have had to very much increase her morphine in the last 24 hours and she no longer has any signs of consciousness), my brother, sister and I are having frequent meetings to address the complex issues concerning the winding up of her estate.... Read more
Note: this is an excerpt from An Ordinary Death: Where Grief and Relief Hold Hands, available from Amazon.com. Genesis 2:7 reads, “Then the Lord God formed man from the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and the man became a living being.” God breathed into this dust-based earth-creature the breath of life–and then, and only then, did this lump of dust turn into something human. Breaths, breathing, air, life . . . Mother... Read more
Note: this is an excerpt from An Ordinary Death: Where Grief and Relief Hold Hands, available from Amazon.com. Rough morning. Restlessness and discomfort predominated for at least an hour and a half this morning. Mother is minimally conscious, eyes half open, but unfocused, but she can still hear and nod her head yes or no. I suspect we’re going to have to give her both the pain meds and the anti-anxiety meds more often now. I have to recognize that... Read more
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