All Anyone Wants is to Be Validated

I’m going to say something very honestly because I feel that someone needs to say it. I am Catholic, and faithful to all the teachings of the Catholic Church. I understand the Sacrament of Marriage and I have come to understand why two people of the same-sex can not be in one. THAT BEING SAID: Christians, you have to understand that most gay people have been bullied at some point in their life by someone calling themselves a Christian and using all of those Bible verses to judge and condemn them. It is still happening. I’ve seen the stupidest memes going around in the last few days. (From both sides) the thing is that unless we listen to each other, we will not get anywhere and we will continue to hurt one another. The fact of the matter is that when you say that “every child deserves a mother and a father” what they hear is you saying is that they are deviants who will raise gay babies. It does not matter how many times you say that is not what you are saying, it doesn’t matter how many memes you post saying that you are their “friend” because what they hear you saying is that they are perverts. And some Christians are ACTUALLY saying that! WTF?! I understand the meaning of the word, and using that meaning means we are ALL perverts, because we are ALL sinners.

This debate makes me so sad because I really do feel like I’m in the middle of a bar fight between my family and my friends and everyone is throwing beer bottles at one another. My best friend’s son is gay, my closest friends are gay, my cousin is gay, my favorite hairdresser is so gay it is not even funny. I love them all and when you say things like “they are so wounded” I get why they want to punch you in the face. We are all wounded. Gay people are not any more wounded or blind than the rest of us. Most of ya’ll are pro-life, and would never tell a post abortive woman that she murdered her child to her face when counseling her, and if you do think that is ok, then shame on you and get to confession. Treat gay people with the same respect. And always remember that if you are representing our LORD then you are expected to act better. I’ve seen the 2 yr old “well they started it” BS going around too. It doesn’t matter, if you can’t enter into a discussion about same-sex marriage without coming off as a rude jerkface then don’t get into one, and if you do then please help the rest of us out and don’t claim to be Catholic. If you use Leviticus as your “Scripture Reference” then I’m talking to you.

As for online discussions, I would say that you have to remember that the internet is tone-deaf so when you type “homosexual” they are reading it and the voice in their head is saying it like the person who hurt them the most says it. That is just human tendency….

I really do not think that Christians ever really really put themselves in the shoes of gay people in this debate. And we have to if we are ever going to make the case that we love them, which is the case that as Catholics we should be trying to make. They will never allow us in their heart when they feel that we do not accept them the way they are. We have to meet people where they are, regardless of where that is. We have to listen more and talk less. Listen to their stories and not judge them and say in our minds “Oh THAT must be why he/she is gay”.  I have seen what gay people endure in school. It is not pretty. It is horrific.

All of that is the evil one who wants us to stay in judgment mode, because the whole time he is tempting us with that he is whispering in their ear as well. He is reminding them of every single Christian who has ever hurt them in any way, and about all the news stories of how much Catholic suck. You are not fighting that person in front of you, regardless of what their issues are, you are in a battle with the evil one. I think that when we forget that, then we fail and start attacking the person we are talking to. That is sparky’s entire goal.

It is pride that makes us think that we have to “win” this debate and end the conversation with this person rejecting their ways of living and giving their life to Jesus right.now. or we have somehow failed. That is not true. God is working in this person’s life. How it all works out in the end is up to that person. Our salvation is not dependent on what they choose. God respects their free will to make their own choices, we have to respect that too. It is their life to live and their choices to make. God gave them that gift, who are we to take it away? Nobody, and we couldn’t do so no matter what. God does not call us to win debates, He calls us to serve. To serve everyone, regardless of their shortcomings.

4 years ago I was living with my boyfriend, going to swingers clubs, drinking myself stupid, neglecting my children and committing some of the most serious sins that a person can commit. Now, I’m sitting here in love with Jesus, and my life is a complete 180 from that life. God did this. I just got tired and quit fighting Him. He loves all the people we talk to more than we could ever even imagine to love them. He has a plan for them and for us, and all we have to do is trust in His love and that they will one day accept that plan. But for now, the most important thing to do with anyone who is lost is to listen to them, to love them, to hug them, to wash their feet and to serve them. All anyone wants is to be validated. Gay or straight, that is something we all want.

Today as we meditate upon the Passion of our Lord let us pray that He can forgive us for the sins that we all commit without knowing.  It is at the foot of the Cross where Mercy is found. Let us draw from His Mercy and share it with others.