Life: the Gift that Bites You in the Ass

Life: the Gift that Bites You in the Ass May 26, 2016
Something that my oldest son drew that.
Something that my oldest son drew that.

You know how I said that I used to think I knew everything about parenting? Well, this is something that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately because I see people online all the time talking about how shitty other parents are. Whether it be about vaccines (oh lawd I said that word on my blog, I’m sure there will be a party of crazy in my combox later), food choices, parenting styles, spanking, or any other of the million things that we think we have to have an opinion about, there is always someone in one of my many newsfeeds/timelines/stories (my social media addiction is only getting worse), who is talking crap about someone’s parenting skills. Let me tell you a little secret: your parenting skills suck too. Some day your sweet little snowflake child will be the one to tell you exactly how much you suck at being a parent and how you ruined their life. So accept it now, it will help you in the long run.

I see people make comments like “parent your child” when it comes to taking away toys, games, or dealing with a demon child of some kind. There is no way to parent through some of those things except to hold on to what little sanity you have so you don’t go drop them off at the CPS office and drive away. Really, I’ve considered doing that.

Oh, if you’re one of these great parents who is gonna tell me about how wonderful your kid turned out and how ya’ll are best friends and talk about everything plus they send you long lavish cards thanking you for their life, just stop reading this blog post now because this is not the post for you little buddy. You go on with your perfect parenting self. But for the rest of you people… well, you can keep reading.

My kids are great human beings. I’ve written countless blog posts about how much trouble they give me but I am well aware that it could be so much worse. They could be smoking or selling crack. They could be runaways. Hell, they could be like I was at their age! They aren’t. They are better than I ever was as a teen and even then, they are KILLING ME SMALLS.

It’s not that they are assholes, they aren’t. But they are people. People with their own angst, tastes in fashion, complaints (all different complaints so for one person to get them all means that everything around here sucks to someone who lives here) and traumas. They each have their own perception of what went down when their father would hit me or try to run us off the road or try to kidnap them. Each one of them has an idea of how they are going to be a better parent than I am, because that is how life works apparently since I was so sure that my mother was the stupidest person alive and I was going to prove it by having perfect kids. HAHAHA!! I was the stupid one.

Listen, stop worrying about how another person parents their kids.  Unless they are chained to a tree or hidden in the basement, it’s really none of your business. If a kid is hitting their mom ask how you can help instead of assuming that you know anything about what is going on with them, you don’t. Just like a stranger has no clue what is going on between you and any of the members in your family. Stop thinking that you know exactly how to parent your kids so they don’t end up like the kid with her face attached to her iPhone. You have NO CLUE what the future holds for you when your toddlers become teens. You really don’t. You might be a perfect parent now but the teen years knock you on your ass. You might be a perfect parent throughout their entire 18 years of life and then they get married and you suck at parenting a grown adult with a spouse. Or you suck at being a grandparent.

Life comes with struggles, yours will come too so have a little mercy and compassion when you see someone else in the middle of theirs because life has this funny way of having your words come back to bite you in the ass. Ask me how I know.

"Of all the stunning and brave that never happened this never happened the most."

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