Sloth Driven Bulldozer

Frustration visits often. I have come to understand the feeling of his presence before I actually recognize that he’s arrived.

I often find myself behind a D6 bulldozer traveling only 20 MPH when the speed limit sign we’ve passed several times now says, “No limits.” There is quite a line behind us and that is when Frustration runs alongside my car and asks if he can join me.

Frustration Rides Shotgun

I’m reluctant at first because I don’t want him as my companion right now. Contemplative Practice says it’s not a good idea. But the longer I’m behind this sloth-driven bulldozer and the more “speed – no limit” signs we pass the more accepting I am of Frustration. So, I allow him to ride shotgun.

Now by my side, it becomes apparent that he has his own agenda. His desire is for me to pass the bulldozer. I pull forward looking for a passing lane. I fall back thinking the driver will see and move to the side. No matter my tactic, I see this is the pace set and the bulldozer ain’t gonna to go any faster nor is she gonna pull over to let us pass.

Miles, hours, days, weeks, months later we are still traveling at 20 MPH. Yes, we are still behind the sloth-driven bulldozer with no way of passing or talking the driver into picking up the pace. Believe me, I’ve tried. Since I am the one traveling so close behind the bulldozer, we’ve had conversations. I get responses like, “It’s not the way I operate,” and “I’m carrying a heavy load.”

I have used my cell phone to call the 1-800-How’s-My-Driving number on the back of the truck multiple times, but here we are still travel at such a snail’s pace.

What’s Our Goal, Again?

Because we are traveling so slowly, I lose sight of the end goal that was so clearly displayed when this journey began. I’m worried now that I may never arrive at my destination. I switch seats with Frustration and silence Contemplative Practice because let’s be real, Practical Thinking got out of the car several miles back.

With Frustration’s excellent driving skills, I climb out of the passenger window and hang on tight while Frustration gets closer to the bulldozer. The closer he gets the more confidence I get so I swing my legs out and grab hold of the bulldozer. With everything in me, I hurl my weight in the direction of the truck and pray I will survive. I climb aboard and request a seat next to the driver. Not at all shocked, she allowed me to climb aboard and we chat for a while.

I’ve done this multiple times throughout this journey hoping to catch a glimpse into the mind of this driver to discover something Frustration has never let me see, but so far I have come up empty and I know now that I was wrong by silencing Contemplative Practice.

Frustration is Not My Friend

I climb back into my car and am reminded that Frustration is not my friend. I realize that when I am apart from him, I can think more clearly. I kicked him to the curb, and I asked for Contemplative Practice’s advice and apologized to her for the rebuke earlier. She is so forgiving and together we decide to turn around to find Practical Thinking.

Sitting curbside several miles back we pull onto the side of the road and invite her to continue this journey with us. Feelings, Actions, and Practical Thinking all converse in the back seat. Contemplative Practice rides shotgun and Self Confidence finally sits up from her long nap in the cargo hold.

We get along so well when we don’t allow Frustration to penetrate our thoughts. We wave and laugh as we pass him at the next curve in the road.

I look back in my rearview mirror and see that another poor soul has offered him a ride.