Outwardly Wasting Away, Inwardly Renewed Day by Day

I received a triple dose of good spiritual and emotional meds Wednesday. First, my daughter Julianne shared with me the Scripture she read for devotions Wednesday morning: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:16; NIV). She applied it to her older brother Christopher, who endured a traumatic brain injury earlier this year. We do not know what is going on inside Christopher, but we hope and pray that he is being renewed daily spiritually, as well as mentally.

Second, my sister Nancy texted us the following prayer: “We pray for that preliminary healing that goes undetected until it presents itself.” Knowing that we were going to be receiving training to assist with Christopher’s therapy Wednesday, she added, “What the ‘hands’ learn we pray translates into new brain pathways.”

Third, my friend Joe wrote in response to my post mentioning Christopher smiling as I sang the hymn “How Deep the Father’s Love for Us”: Christopher was “probably” thinking “something like ‘That was some soulful singing my man!’” Joe continued, “If you have ever needed to be patient with your child, it’s right now. I really think he’s trying his best to communicate through a barrier.” I’m still riding the wave of these spiritual and emotional meds today.

I have been reflecting on that text in 2 Corinthians the past few days, along with the surrounding verses: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18; NIV). Paul alludes throughout the chapter to the trials he endured in sharing the good news of eternal life in relational union with Jesus in all his travels throughout the Roman Empire. Earlier in the passage, Paul writes: “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you” (2 Corinthians 4:7-12; NIV).

I am left dumbstruck every time I consider Paul’s trials recorded here and in 2 Corinthians 11. How did he endure such hardships? No wonder he felt like he was wasting away on the outside. It’s a tribute to God’s mercy and miraculous power that Paul wasn’t wasting away on the inside.

I sure feel like I am wasting away outwardly at times, as well as inwardly, in view of the relentless struggles surrounding Christopher’s traumatic brain injury. A friend recently told me how tired I look. A CNA only missed my age by three years (lower) the other evening as we were tending to Christopher. That wasn’t a compliment! How I wish they could have been with me at the checkout stand at Trader Joe’s recently, when the clerk asked to see my driver’s license on account of the six-pack of heavenly nectar I sought to purchase. I told the clerk that he made my day—in fact, my life! It’s amazing what a face mask, sunglasses, and a baseball cap can do for one’s countenance!

All of us will waste away outwardly in due time. No matter how many vitamins and face lifts and exercises we do, we can’t fight age forever. But it is not a foregone conclusion that we have to waste away inwardly. The Apostle Paul encouraged the Corinthian Christians not to lose heart. Though he and they were wasting away outwardly, he assured them that God was transforming them in their inner being. I need to rely like never before on the hope of God’s desired transformation of my inner person. It can make up in dramatic ways for the struggles that go on all around me about which I have no control.

With that point in mind, I have always been amazed how my mother’s countenance was often so vibrant and radiant, no matter how old she was. Her steadfast gaze on Jesus filled her soul with light and life. As with Paul and my mom, Christopher’s grandmother, I pray for such spiritual transformation in my inner being. As stated above, I also pray that Christopher is undergoing a transformation of his person spiritually and mentally. I thank God that I now see light in his eyes, whereas there was only darkness in them for weeks following the injury. My son looks so much like his old self now. All the more, I long to see increasing evidence of the healing of his person. While undetected in large measure now, may other dimensions of healing present themselves to our naked eye in due course. To that end, as we assist with therapy day in and day out, may new brain pathways emerge in Christopher.

We all need therapy in one way or another. I pray that God is creating new pathways within me for spiritual and relational connections through the relentless ordeal involving Christopher’s TBI. Two of the pathways that I hope will emerge in me are long-suffering patience and lasting hope. It won’t be easy, though. The spiritual and emotional therapeutic exercises that are intended to assist me in getting there can be so exhausting. Yet, rather than give up, I desire to grow up in patience with God, patience with Christopher, patience with others, and patience with myself. I also hope that God will bring about a transformation in my various relationships that reflects Jesus’ eternal radiance and glory.

Please pray for Christopher to keep healing and fighting to communicate through the barrier of his traumatic brain injury. Pray that he also grows in patience and hope. Pray that we all grow in patience and hope as we learn how to communicate with others through barriers of various kinds.

It is not only those with traumatic brain injuries that struggle to communicate. We erect so many relational barriers through which we struggle to communicate with others. We need patience in the process and hope that God will break through the barriers and bring about an inward and relational renewal in all of us. May this life-generating renewal make itself known in increasing measure in our world that is so lonely, tired, and prone to decay.

Photos: Here you will find a picture of Christopher in his glory out in the desert sun accompanied by a picture of his radiant grandmother. The last photo was taken of me next to the grandfather clock at the Overseas Ministries Study Center in New Haven, CT, back in 2018. I had just received a grandfather t-shirt from Christopher, Keyonna, and Jaylah, and was proudly displaying it. You can also go here for regular updates on Christopher’s condition.