Newt Gingrich has come and gone. I thought he might offer something concrete via immigration reform, but, alas, he seems to have backed off and has added provisos that are counterproductive, along with more than enough counterbalancing nonsense. Oh well.
Since coming to this sad realization, I’ve been searching for my next candidate.
Listening to him promote his new book (Time to Get Tough: Making America #1 Again) on the radio last night, I began to deeply regret Donald Trump dropping out of the GOP primary discussion so quickly.
Thankfully, this morning I received some wonderful news: Trump is considering running as third party candidate! The perfect Christmas gift for the United States of America: a president we deserve.
The perfect Christmas gift for the USA. I mean every last word of that sentence.
During the secular Christmas season (that begins on Black Friday), we see what this country is made of. We unite together in the sacred ritual of shopping. We attend the new, modern cathedral: the shopping mall. Some go on pilgrimage, others hold vigil services outside, other others create their own, religious alternatives—e.g. small business Saturday, sponsored by American Express.
Surely, if the USA is going to be numero uno again, we MUST go shopping. We consume more than any other nation in the world, but they’re catching on quickly and we must rise to the shopping challenge.
The only sin in America is the despicable life of poverty. It is a sin to be poor; it is sinful to not try to become rich, like us.
Donald Trump will surely teach us how to shop, how to consume, how to be true Americans. This is why America is struggling: we are not as rich as we need to be. Trump understands this.
I understand that some people vote for a presidential candidate who represents an aspirational vision of what our country could and perhaps should be. We like to elect people who make us feel like we are headed somewhere else, somewhere better. I think it’s time to stop this madness: it is high time that we elect a president who shows us where we are now, who we are today, what we have become up to this point.
It is time to elect a president in touch with our truest national self.
No one I can think of fits this description better than Donald Trump. To elect Trump is to look in the mirror and face the reality of what this country is all about.
During the secular Christmas season, we like to pretend that we are a Christian nation or that we are a democratic, pluralistic nation. We compete over territory that is already fixed and set. Everyone secretly knows what we really are: we are a nation where, no matter who you are, no matter what you look like, no matter what you believe or disbelieve, money is power. Get rich and everything will take care of itself.
That why we stay engaged in wars: to force the military industrial complex to go shopping. That is why we have these huge, so-called “public” institutions like schools and jails and other places where people sit in cells, observed by surveillance cameras, being fed like cattle, in cafeterias: they create very particular economic demands and train shoppers, predictable objects who value themselves and others by their pocket books and their fucking tennis shoes.
Trump embodies the these sacred, shopping virtues that saturate and sanctify our collective psyche. If we want someone who will really represent America for who are truly are, then we must elect Donald Trump.
He’s the president we deserve.
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In