Peter may indeed wait at the Pearly Gates, but there is another gate for people who die harboring hurt feelings. The greeter is female and wears diaphanous white robes with a crown of light which you might mistake for a Santa Lucia wreath, until you realize that there are no actual candles, just the light—haloing her head, each light a sun. You have to squint to see her face. It is surprising that you can see anything in the midst of such brightness. But this is another world, and you are able to see her face, which looks like your mother’s when she was young. She smells like your mother, too—smells you realize you had forgotten. For some, she smells of sun-dried cotton on a clothes line, for others of apples and cinnamon from the pies she once made; for others of freshly cut paper. It might seem misogynistic to suggest such domestic smells for the mother, but in those white robes she is wearing, these smells associated with your personal nurturing are the ones which come to you.
She wraps you in her arms, and your face is veiled by her robes. You are not suffocated (actually, you’re not even breathing), and you feel her intense love warm every cell of your spirit body—which does seem shaped, though you can’t tell what it looks like.
Your body, or what you think of as an UNDER-BODY, appears able to transcend walls. But there is one hard, edgy place which prevents full transcendance. It is dangerous to try because that edge may result in your being stuck between two rooms. Where it is depends on where your burdens were. An unappreciated mother will often carry her “grudge” (so you are led to call it) in her stomach area. A burdened father or businessman will carry his on one or both shoulders. An academic usually bears his or hers in the head.
She offers you three doors.
The first is the re-cycle door. She explains that it is for vindication. Within, you may re-visit any argument or situation in which you were wronged and say everything you wish you had said. You will be given as many chances as you want to say whatever you choose.
The second is the judgment chamber, where you will participate in a trial involving the person who made your life or even just a particular moment so difficult. You will be able to explain everything and receive a verdict.
The third room is the reconciliation room, if you choose to resolve the grudge. You are given to understand that this reconciliation might involve surgery, as the grudge must be gone before you can progress to the next level. The surgery can be painful or not, depending on your attachment to the grudge.
Make your choice.