Independence is glorified in society. Being able to stand on your own two feet is a signal of strength. No wonder our instinct is to say, “no, it’s okay. I got this”. As Christians, can trying to go through life alone be damaging to our faith? What does it look like to be part of a Christ-centered community?
Growing Up in Community
I was fortunate enough to grow up in a Christian home, with a family who valued the importance of church and community. We had family friends from our church who knew every single detail of our lives (sometimes too much!) I was familiar with weekly gatherings in homes for “small groups”. As a child, I saw the value in it as I witnessed the way my parents cared for their friends’ families and the way their friends cared for ours. I’m so thankful I got to witness this dynamic and see the positives of creating a community like that.
Grown Up in Community
Knowing something is good for you, and actually doing it are two different things, right?
While a Christian community is something I’ve always thought was important, finding that as an adult has proven to be more difficult than what it felt like I just fell into naturally as a child (when in reality, it’s only because it was my parents’ responsibility- not mine. Thanks, Mom and Dad!)
My husband and I have always prioritized church in our married life: finding one and attending regularly…but truly connecting and getting involved is another story, as neither one of us is outgoing or extremely social. This makes “jumping in” feel awkward and intimidating.
When we moved after college, 10 years ago, to the city where we’d be building our life together, we had to force ourselves to say “yes” to social opportunities. That included joining a “young married” group at church. This is one of the best decisions we ever made as a couple and I’ll forever be grateful that invitation was extended to us. There’s something about joining other Christian couples who are in the same phase of life as you, sharing a meal together, and praying for each other… all while building authentic friendships. When you can get to know people on that deep of a level, it’s so rich and so sweet.
Community Lost
Like many good things in life, communities can change or fall apart. After a few years of meeting together, life took those of us in that group in different directions. Though we remained friends with some of the families, without the weekly gatherings to touch base, the relationships changed. We lost that closeness and vulnerability of sharing all the ins and outs of life together.
Anyone else experienced something similar? You put yourself out there to develop community, and then it falls apart? Perhaps, you’ve done this multiple times and are tired of trying. When you lose something you worked hard to build, it can cause you to feel discouraged or jaded, and give up on looking for community altogether.
I get it. It took us about 5 years to find a sense of community like this again. If I’m honest, it was mainly out of lack of effort, and desire, on our part. Getting to know new people who you can feel comfortable around and truly trust, is hard and time consuming.
Changes and Uncertainty
In spring of 2022, we left a church we loved, one we had been at for the past 9 years, the only one our kids had ever known. Around Christmas time last year though, is when the loss truly hit me…and it hit hard. Not only did we not have the close community we once experienced there, we no longer even had a church family (probably for the first time in our lives).
By this point, we had been attending a new church for several months, but still knew no one. We could walk in the doors for service and walk out, without interacting with a single person. In some ways, this felt nice to be hidden and anonymous. Yet, we knew it wasn’t what God wanted for us long term.
Community Found
In February, we stepped into the church we now call home, and we knew two things: 1) This is where God wanted our family to be, 2) This would be a place for us to grow and serve, but we needed to get involved by joining a community group. I felt a hope I hadn’t felt in a long time coupled with a stirring of anxiety at the thought of the process. We knew it would take time and certain levels of uncomfortableness to establish community, but we also knew it was necessary.
I can tell you this now (10 months later): it was so worth it! I don’t think we realized just how much we missed having those deep and intimate spiritual connections with others, until we were part of a group like that again. It made me wonder how we had gone so long without having a Christ-centered community… and it made me never want to lose it again.
What it Means to be in a Christian Community
“Community” can be built in several ways. Usually, it means you have a common factor that connects you.
It might be your physical location, and you have a community within your neighborhood.
It could be that you find a workplace community built up of your co-workers.
Chances are if you’ve ever been on a sports’ team, you built bonds and formed a community with your teammates.
Perhaps, as a mom you’ve built a group of “mom friends” to share the joys and struggles of motherhood with.
All of these are good things! Creating bonds with others in the everyday areas of your life is helpful for your emotional and mental well-being. However, there is something unique about a Christ-centered community.
When Jesus is the common factor that connects you, that means there’s an eternal bond. These relationships are set a part, because you’re a family in Christ. You have all experienced his grace and are united in his love.
Being a part of a community of other believers who you can walk through life’s joys and trials with, laughing, praying, and crying with one another, means more than I can even put into words. Having people who check in on you regularly, support you, and hold you accountable is something we all need.
Could a Christ-Centered Community be What You Need?
This type of community was modeled in the Bible by the early church, and there are so many positive and fruitful things that come of it. If you find yourself trying to go through life alone, or perhaps you think you don’t need a Christian community, because you have friends and/or family to rely on (but you haven’t experienced that depth of Christ-centered support and vulnerability), I’d encourage you to seek out a Christian community. I know, it can be uncomfortable and require you to let down your guard. It may take trial and error, requiring perseverance, to find the one that’s right for you… but once you find it, you will be so grateful!
If you are part of a Christian community that you love, share your experience of the difference it’s made in your life.
Read more on Christian Community below ⬇️
Community Pt2: What does the Bible say About the Importance of a Christian Community?
Community Pt 3: What are the 5 Key Biblical Aspects of a Christian Community? (Coming soon!)
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