Have you ever been in a situation where you know people are talking about you or making assumptions about you that aren’t true? No one wants to be painted in a bad light. So, it can be tempting to correct people and make sure your side of the story is told at all costs. However, in many situations, this can just make things worse and bring confrontation and confusion, instead of peace. What does it look like to let a situation be?
Let Them Think What They Will…
As a recovering people-pleaser, the idea of someone having negative thoughts toward me doesn’t sit well with me. I desire for people to see my heart and trust the reasoning behind my choices.
A couple of years ago, I left a situation where a couple hundred people were aware of my absence. While I had conversations with those immediately affected, I left pretty quietly – not explaining myself to many. This left a lot of room for people to jump to their own conclusions about what happened. I wrestled with this idea. I wanted to tell people, “You don’t know the whole story…” However, I knew that would open the topic for more questions and only further complicate things. I never want to be someone who speaks poorly of others, or “poisons the well”.
So, I let it be.
God Sees it All
It’s so easy for us, sometimes, to get caught up in pleasing others. We work for the approval of our loved ones, our bosses, our kids’ friends (hey, we all want our kids’ friends to think we’re cool, right? 😉 ), the stranger at the grocery store, etc. It’s in our human nature to want to be liked. However, our only real concern should be what God thinks of us.
I talk to my kids about this often. Sometimes, one of them will say “so-and-so said this about me”. I ask them, “Is it true? Did you _____?”, or “are you _____?” If not, I tell them to try to ignore it and let it go. We can’t control what others think about us, we can only control our response. However, even as an adult, “letting go” is much easier said than done. We want to defend ourselves – when so much more peace can be found when we just walk away, instead of trying to convince everyone of our side of the story.
Biblical Examples
You know who set the best example of letting people make false assumptions about him, while keeping his focus on God’s will?
You guessed it! Jesus.
Here are just a few of the sentiments people made about him…
“He is out of his mind” Mark 3:21
“He is possessed by Beelzebul!” Mark 3:22
“And there was much muttering about him among the people. While some said, “He is a good man,” others said, “No, he is leading the people astray.” Yet for fear of the Jews no one spoke openly of him.” John 7:12-13
“For many bore false witness against him, but their testimony did not agree.” Mark 14:56
People called Jesus crazy. They said he was demon-possessed. They accused him of leading people astray. Some spoke lies about him in front of the council.
Jesus remained silent against these accusations.
When they pushed the matter at the council in Mark 14, Jesus told them the truth. Yet, they still didn’t believe him: he was accused of blasphemy.
These horrible things were said about JESUS: the perfect, selfless, Savior of the world.
Peace in Him
I find so much strength when I look at Jesus’ example on earth. When I see how he treated people and how he responded to situations, I’m in awe. It serves as a reminder of what I should be striving for. If Jesus can let people say awful things about him that weren’t true without jumping to defend himself, I should certainly reconsider the need to get defensive.
People can make assumptions about me or paint their own picture of what happened. It’s okay, because, thank goodness, my peace doesn’t lie in their opinions.
Thessalonians 2:4
“But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts.”
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