I would never…” flies out of our mouths so often as human beings, especially when it’s about a situation we’ve never been in. For instance, before I became a parent, I used to think “ My kids would never…”
They’d never what, Tori?
“Have a meltdown in public?”
“Try to escape a store in the split second you look away?”
“Sneak candy and try to eat it without you seeing?”
If you’ve thought similar things, spoiler alert: yes, your kids most likely will.
When I first became a mom, I was so nervous about parenting in public. This was, for a couple of reasons:
1. I’m a very reserved person who doesn’t like attention (and I knew kids were sure to bring attention to themselves and me).
2. I was really worried about what others would think of me, and my parenting.
The Not-So-Fun Parenting Moments
I was forced to get over those fears as I was placed in uncomfortable situations often (especially when my second child came along). Here are just a few cringe-worthy examples from my early years of parenting:
Carry two screaming toddlers out of a restaurant, one in each arm, while avoiding any eye contact with the other people inevitably staring at us? Check! ☑
Have a toddler break something at someone else’s house and apologize profusely, while silently dying of embarrassment? Check! ☑
Try to leave a playdate for 15 minutes straight while multiple children stall, run in opposite directions, and complain about how they “barely had any time” there? Check! ☑
Drive around backroads for 30 minutes crying, wondering what I’m doing wrong and why I ever thought I would be good at this parenting thing? Check! ☑
I’m sure there are many more similar scenarios that I’ve conveniently blocked out of my memory, but my point is, parenting is hard and unpredictable. It can make you feel like a failure on a daily basis.
On that note, good luck!
Jk… there is some encouragement! 🙂
Grace for our Children
Here’s the thing we constantly need to remind ourselves of: our children are still learning. They’re little humans with big emotions, whose brains aren’t fully developed yet. They’re going to have days where they’re cranky or tired and don’t know how to express what they need. Offer grace, guidance and discipline when necessary as well, but alongside of grace and understanding.
Grace for Parents
Parents are also still learning. No parent has been through the exact age/phase they are at now, with the children they have. Even if they’ve been there with their older children, each child is different.
I know I wasn’t prepared for half the situations I’ve encountered as a mom. I don’t always know (or do) the exact right thing in the moment.
So, when you see another parent struggling, when their kids are misbehaving, or maybe they’re snapping because they’re overwhelmed, offer grace. Meet them from a place of compassion and understanding, instead of judgment.
We’re all perfect parents, UNTIL we have children, right?
Grace From The Only Perfect Parent
I don’t think there’s a lot of absolutes in parenting. Usually the response is dependent on the specific child and the situation.
However, there is one thing that I believe is a must in parenting: relying on God. We can’t expect to be good parents if we don’t learn from the only perfect parent there ever was.
The best thing we can do for our children is to seek God’s wisdom each day, to accept his grace for us, and extend it to our kids as well. We learn to walk in his ways as we get to know him more and guide our kids to do the same.
“Guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long”
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