Boys will be… Men: Are We Raising Them for a Godly Future?

You’ve heard it said, “Boys will be boys!” While this saying can sometimes be used as an excuse for poor behavior, more often than not, it’s an innocent saying, referring to the rough, wild, energetic nature of boys. There’s something so unique and special about the way God designed young boys. We have to be careful not to squash those God-given characteristics while directing them on the path to be kind, responsible, respectful men someday.

Raising an “Oh Boy!”

After having a girl first, when my son came along two years later, he took us by surprise, to say the least! He was always on the move, always making noise, and into EVERYTHING. As soon as he could walk, he was running around, like a bull in a china shop, with seemingly no awareness of his body or anyone’s personal space.

I’ve found myself saying over and over again throughout his life, “he’s all boy!”* If there’s dirt, he’s playing in it! If there’s a stick, it’s a weapon. If there’s someone to rough-house with, he’s rough-housin’! Whether you’re building things or taking things apart, he’s there to help and use whatever tools he can get his hands on.

*Everyone is created with unique personalities and interests, so if your son doesn’t have these characteristics, I’m not saying he’s any less of a boy. He is exactly how God made him to be! Just sharing my own experience with my son and how I’m trying to harness the stereotypical boy qualities he possesses.

Raising Him to be Considerate

My son is about as honest as they come! You never have to guess what he’s thinking or feeling, he’ll let you know! Often, less than tactfully. While this openness can be refreshing, it can also come at the expense of people’s feelings. To him, everything is black and white, so he’s not afraid to let you know when he thinks you’re wrong.

I’m working with him on developing more social etiquette, and how to consider others’ feelings before he speaks. I’m trying to instill in him that relationships are more important than being “right”. If what he’s going to say is going to make the other person feel bad, he needs to consider whether it’s really necessary or not.

^“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3, ESV

Raising Him to be Responsible

As parents, we have enough responsibilities, without having to constantly be picking up after our kids or taking care of things that they are old enough to do themselves.

My first few years of parenthood, I wasn’t great at teaching my kids responsibility. Obviously, when they’re babies, you have to do a lot for them.. but I continued doing everything for my older two longer than I should have.

At the time, it felt easier to just do things myself, instead of slowing down to teach them to put things away, to fold their own clothes, to make their own lunches…but in the long run, I wasn’t doing myself, or my children, any favors.

My son is now 9. He has weekly responsibilities he does around the house (not for pay, but because he’s a contributing member of the household).

For instance, on a weekly basis, he’s required to wipe down the shower and toilet in the guest bath, clean up after the dog out back, and clean his room. He also empties the dishwasher daily and picks up any of his belongings in the main living space. On occasion, he’ll do other household tasks such as peel potatoes or chop veggies for meals, make pancakes for the family, clean out the car, or take out the trash and recycling.

I’m doing my best to raise a son who knows that the responsibilities around the house should not fall on a single person, when there are multiple people living in the house. Everyone does their part!

Each kid/family is different. You know your son and what he is capable of. I  personally think kids thrive when given roles and responsibilities. Will they complain about it? You can almost guarantee it! But in delegating tasks to your kids, you set them up to gain confidence in their abilities, and be more well-rounded, contributing members of society.

^“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.”  Colossians 3:23, ESV

Raising Him to be Generous

Due to our sinful nature, we all have to be mindful to ward off selfish desires now and then, especially when it comes to how we use our resources. Money is a tough one, even for the most selfless of Christians. It can be tempting to think, “We earned this” or “We deserve this.” In reality, everything we have belongs to the Lord and we’re required to be good stewards of it.

My sweet son has actually been such an inspiration to me in this area. He has always had a huge heart for others!

When he was about 7 years old, his class was doing a fundraiser for children who’s families were struggling financially. My son had his own money he had been saving up for months to buy something he really wanted. My kids don’t get regular allowances, so this was likely a combination of leftover birthday money and money he had earned by doing extra chores/projects for parents or grandparents (a dollar here, a dollar there). He had been saving up for months, and had over $20 saved. Without any prompting, he brought it all to his classroom as a donation for these children, not a few dollars,  or a percentage of it… he brought all he had. His selflessness brought me to tears.

He did something else at the fair this summer that took me by surprise. Every stand we bought food at, he  decided to throw in some money from his wallet as a tip. I don’t know why this caught me off guard, but sometimes he’s the one teaching me.

^“The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully^[c] will also reap bountifully. ⁷ Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”  2 Corinthians 9:5-7, ESV

Raising Him to be Christ-like

If you fall short in any of the other areas, this is the one to get right!

After all, any other positive characteristics fall under this category. Teach him about Jesus.

-Take him to church.

-Read the Bible to him.

-Pray with him.

-Create a household environment that is focused on Christ.

We need to be teaching our sons to be spending time in the word and prayer at an early age. Let’s show them how to rely on God and reflect His love daily. This will equip them to go out into the world someday, and shine the light of Jesus.

“All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children.” Isaiah 54:13, ESV

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Any moms of boys out there – whatever stage of parenting you’re in- comment below! Give me your best advice on how to prepare our sons to be godly men in this corrupt world.