Deep down I don’t see my ordinary mind as the way

I felt happy when I read that – a statement of fresh honesty full of possibility.

Belief in the buddhadharma and doubt in the buddhadharma can create the energy for digging-in-deep practice.

Here’s one way to work with belief and doubt in zazen. The basis of zazen is the belief that we are already Buddha and the posture is the clearest expression of that truth.

So when you sit down, pay attention to the specific ways in which the body is expressing doubt and not expressing Buddha, wholehearted dropping away. Are the shoulders tense? Is the back slouched? Is the back straining to be straight? Is the head tipped back in a spaced-out pose? Or is the jaw pushed forward as if trying to bite into something?

I’m not saying there is one way to be or do zazen (or one perfect Buddha state) … what I’m suggesting is that if you want to digest the issue of belief and doubt, become intimate with these dynamics in the zazen you are doing every day.

It is as if the body is in dialogue – “I believe that I am Buddha and so I’m willing to sit here for a while” and “I don’t really believe that I am Buddha so I may sit here for awhile but I’m not really going to let go and completely become this posture.”

How is it for you?