It is a Fearsome Thing to Love That Which is Touched by Death

The title of today’s post comes from a tombstone in New England that I heard about on “This American Life” some years ago.

I think of it today because March 1 was the nineteenth anniversary of Katagiri Roshi’s death. We’ll be commemorating him during the first session of the 100-day training that starts tomorrow (with quite a lot of good energy) and I’ll probably post my dharma words here on Friday.

Ceremony, including the ceremony preparation, really brings up and outs the emotions for me these days. I first saw this in the Zen context when Narazaki Ikko Roshi visited our training center in the mid 1980’s and practiced intensively with us for a couple weeks. He was a man of enormous dignity and decorum as well as seeming to be thoroughly chilled emotionally. I was stunned when at the ceremony to mark his departure, he (and Katagiri Roshi) wept and wailed.

I’m not weeping but am in a rather reflective mood with Katagiri Roshi very much on my mind.

Along with Roshi, here’s a koan that comes to mind from the Iron Flute:

36: Where to Meet After Death?

Tau-wu paid a visit to his sick brother monk, Yun-yen. “Where can I see you again, if you die and leave only your corpse here?” asked the visitor.

“I will meet you in the place where nothing is born and nothing dies,” answered the sick monk.

Tau-wu was not satisfied with the answer and said, “What you should say is that there is no place in which nothing is born and nothing dies, and that we need not see each other at all.”

Genro (a monk comments):
Tao-wu loses everything and Yun-yen gains all. The latter said, “I will meet you,” and the former said, “We need not see each other at all.” They need not see each other, therefore, they meet. They meet each other because there is no need to see each other.

True friendship transcends intimacy or alienation:
Between meeting and not meeting, there is no difference.
On the old plum tree, fully blossomed,
The southern branch owns the whole spring,
As also does the northern branch.

If you were asked by a close friend, “After you die, where will we meet?” what would you say?