A Wiccan-Style Hand-Fasting Ceremony for a Bride and Groom
Original sources from The Church of Ancient Ways, Ed Fitch’s “Rights from the Crystal Well”, and adapted by Clare Hobby and Heron Michelle
Altar:
Set in the Northeastern perimeter of the circle
Materials: Spirit Candles of silver, gold and white; Ancestor Candle of black; Small pitcher of blessed wine, plate with 4 squares of blessed cake; anointing oil, lavender bundle in dish with tea-light.
Tools: Bell, Priest/ess’s Athame and wand, paten. The Athame’s of both bride and groom are on the altar to represent them, but not used.
Consecration Elements: Fire Candle, Incense in holder, small cauldron of Water, dish of Salt, Lighter/Matches
Secondary Altar: Small Pedestal with large Amethyst Geode, White Spirit Cord, and Anointing Oil, stands between Priest/ess and Bride/Groom.
Participants:
Priest/ess: Officiating
Sword Bearer: Carries Groom’s Sword (Like the Best man)
Chalice Bearer: Carries the Bride’s Chalice with their rings inside. (Like the Matron of Honor)
Besom Bearer: Carried by the witnesses to the legal marriage
Cord Bearers: Close family members each enter wearing a cord draped around their neck: red, green, blue, yellow. White Cord woven with silver and gold is draped around the large Amethyst stone on a small pedestal that stands between the Priest/ess and Bride/Groom.
Gatekeepers of East, South, West, North stand in each quarter.
Bride and Groom
Layout of the Temple:
In the shade of the Bride and Groom’s back yard, we’ve set the stage for the marriage rites. An inner circle is created with enough chairs for the ritual participants and close family members. Each quarter is set with a tiki-torch, iron garden stake dressed with fresh herbs and flowers, ribbons, and a hanging chime that was made by the Groom. A gap is left at each quarter for the GateKeeper to stand. A large iron cauldron is set in the southern quadrant of circle with a self-lighting fire log already burning.
As the guests arrived at 3:00, they were invited to visit the refreshment tent for beverages to enjoy during the service, and then to sit in an outer few rings of chairs, or to stand nearby; they’ve gathered casually around as Pagan Drumming Music is playing through a sound system. We began promptly at 3:15.
At the start of the ceremony, ritual participants lined up outside the Eastern gate, with Bride and Groom the last to enter. All are anointed on the forehead with the symbol of their personal faith tradition (pentacle, cross, star of David, etc.) and smudged with Lavender at the Eastern Gate. They circle around deosil 3x to their designated position and are seated. Priest/ess awakens/lights the altar as guests enter. Bride and Groom take their position in the center.
Welcoming of the Guests
Priest/ess walks around edge of circle, addressing the crowd:
Welcome! <Groom> and <Bride> thank you all for being here with them today. Making the journey here took considerable effort, and for this they are deeply grateful.
You are the most important people in their lives. All of the time you’ve spent with them over the years helped to hone them into who they needed to become. First, so that they could find themselves and then so that they could find each other.
As I look around those gathered here, I see a rich and diverse weave of differing beliefs, life styles, ages, viewpoints and backgrounds. It is a beautiful sight to us, that you would join us in these Wiccan Rites of Marriage. We meet on the common ground of the love we share for <Bride> and <Groom>, and we celebrate their love for each other.
Preface to the Ritual:
Rituals are designed to create a change in our lives. A marriage creates a change that interweaves the entire family. So, our families are invited to join the couple so that they can bear witness to the promises they make. This way we can help to support them as they fulfill those promises. Today, they take up their Sovereign right to partner and make a solemn bond of responsibility for each other. It is our sacred privilege to bear witness to the marriage vows of <Bride> and <Groom.> May we be woven closer to one another, as a community of family and friends.
The Challenge – Perfect Love and Perfect Trust:
In Wicca, when we enter into ritual, we are challenged at the gate to declare our good intentions. We say that we enter in “Perfect Love and Perfect Trust.”
Perfect love means, “Unconditional Divine Love.” And perfect trust means, “reciprocal trustworthiness.” The ideal that this speaks of is not about flawlessness, but of wholeness, completeness, like the “perfect circle.”
In the context of a partnership, this means that in Perfect Love, we not only accept this wholeness, but we expect our beloved to have both sunny days and blustery nights; both the feast of summer and the winters of lack; both shining strengths and shadowy frailty. We accept the package deal.
In Perfect Trust, we mean that a couple can say to one another: “I accept that, on occasion, you might anger me as I might anger you; sometimes I might not get it right, and sometimes you won’t get it right, but I know deep down that between us there is a love that is stronger than any force of destruction we may face; and I can trust in your good intentions, as I will strive to be trustworthy.”
We can say to each other, “I trust that we are bonded by a Higher Divine Purpose, and that we will never cast each other aside. I trust that at our best we will live together in harmony, and even in our darkest times, we will remain a team, fighting for each other and beside each other, for the greater good of our family.” This desire held by <Bride> and <Groom> to bond for a lifetime is Divinely inspired, and is well worth fighting for!
These are the promises to which we have been invited to bear witness this day! So, to <Bride> and <Groom>, I ask you first to consider this pledge very carefully. <pause for dramatic effect> How do you enter?
<Bride> and <Groom>: In perfect love and perfect trust.
Priest/ess to the crowd: And to all assembled here, I ask you now that you speak to your own intentions as you join them on this sacred ground! Speak now, or leave in peace! How to do enter into these rites? (They shout their answers: Perfect Love and Perfect Trust! ) It is good! Let us begin!
Gatekeepers, let us now hallow this sacred space and create our Temple.
[A pagan hallowing song is played on the sound system. Elemental gatekeepers circle deosil from their positions to the altar. Priest/ess hands them the consecration elements. They sprinkle/waft/walk the circle, laying down a hedge of energy. At their own gate, they present their element and silently invite it to approach, ring the chime that hangs there, and then circle back with their element to the altar, and return to their gate. Priest/ess walks outer perimeter, casting circle with wand, closing the sphere, above and below, pushing the energy boundary to the boundaries of the land.]
Priest/ess to all assembled: We now stand in a Temple of our own making, in a time out of time, and place between the worlds. We visualize this as a sphere that draws down the heavens, draws up the underworld of our ancestors, and we meet at these crossroads here in the middle world. May all that we do here be for the highest good of all involved, harming none. Blessed be!
Elemental Blessings – Opening the Gates:
Priest/ess: Since it is within nature that we all abide, we will call for <Bride> and <Groom> the blessings of Nature’s Elements: Air, Fire, Water and Earth.
Eastern Gatekeeper: [facing direction, salutes] “Spirits of Air! Open the lines of communication between <Bride> and <Groom>. May their future be as bright as the dawn on the Spring horizon. As Air flows freely through us all, may they delight in their world with a mind opened to wonder and a creativity that flows freely, one to the other. May they grow in wisdom together. Hail and Welcome!” [draws invoking pentagram to open the gate and bows as Air enters.]
Southern Gatekeeper: [facing direction, salutes] “Spirits of Fire, Fuel the passions between <Bride> and <Groom>, and their love of life itself. Remain ever strong and vital, brightening each day with vibrancy and adventure. As Fire clears the way for new growth, may they know their power to create a life of richness and temperance that comes with a true love of life. May they grow courageous together. Hail and Welcome!” [draws invoking pentagram to open the gate and bows as Fire enters.]
Western Gatekeeper: [facing direction, salutes] “Spirits of Water, Comfort the hearts of <Bride> and <Groom>, heal them and bring the serenity of the deep blue ocean. Be the oasis that sustains them. May they be well loved, and love well, with the determination with which Water journeys to the sea, flowing around all obstacles. With Love that endures with the surety of the tides. May their hearts flow easily together. Hail and Welcome! [draws invoking pentagram to open the gate and bows as water enters.]
Northern Gatekeeper: [facing direction, salutes] “Spirits of Earth, Stabilize the rock foundations upon which <Bride> and <Groom> build their lives. Manifest their dreams. May their lives mirror your fertile fields, expansive and alive with a bountiful harvest. When they look up at the Northern Star, may it shine as brightly as their love for one another, and be as constant, guiding true. May they grow in abundance and health together. Hail and Welcome! [draws invoking pentagram to open the gate and bows as earth enters.]
Priest/ess in Center: “Father, Mother, Lord and Lady, Divine Spirit whose presence is felt in all things. You, who we know by many names and many faces, we call upon you now from deep within the hearts of all these beautiful people and we ask your continued blessings upon this couple, upon their union and upon their family and friends who have gathered here to celebrate this joyous event. May they become one in truth, and forever revel in the magick that is love. Be with us now! Hail and Welcome!” [Lights God and Goddess Candles from the lit Spirit Candle.]
Honoring the Ancestors:
Priest/ess: I now invite <Bride> and <Groom> to invite their ancestors with a ringing of the Northern Chime. [Together they go to the Northern quarter, and ring the chime there three times. Priest/ess lights Black Ancestor candle] We welcome our Ancestors of Land, Blood and Spirit. All those who guard and guide us, and those who have gone before. Be with us now. Hail and Welcome!
Awakening the God and Goddess within the Couple:
Priest/ess: Marriage is a spiritual partnership between the couple’s Highest Divine Selves. <Bride> and <Groom>, I remind you of our maxim: “As above, so below; As below, so above.” You are an embodiment of the God and Goddess, a beautiful reflection of The Lord and The Lady here on Earth.
[<Bride> bows head, Priest/ess anoints her crown, opening with the invoking pentagram, then resting hand on crown]
Priestess: <Bride>, I call upon all that is divine within you.
Come forth and shine.
In you dwells the essence of the Great Mother.
You are wife, mother, lover, friend, prophet, and confidant.
In you is strength and wisdom, perfection and peace.
Shine, dear one, and show to all the Goddess within.
<Groom> bows head. Priest/ess anoints his crown, opening with the invoking pentagram, then resting hand on crown:
Priest/ess: <Groom>, I call upon all that is divine within you.
Let it come forth and shine.
In you dwells the essence of the Great Father.
You are husband, healer, protector, visionary, friend, and confidant.
In you is strength and wisdom, perfection and peace.
Shine, mighty one, and show to all the God within.
Priest/ess to <Bride> resting hand over her heart:
Lady of Love, touch this woman with your grace and nurturance; empower her with your unending cycles of growth and change. Bless her with many seasons of a life spent together with her beloved in good health. Share with her your fertile nature from which all abundance flows.
Priest/ess to <Groom> resting hand over his heart:
Lord of Light, touch this man with your strength and wisdom; empower him with the divine alchemy that is the union of heart and mind. Bless him with many seasons of a life spent with his beloved in fulfillment. Share with him your boundless nature from which all vitality flows.
Blessing of the Rings (1):
Priest/ess: I call now the Sword and Chalice Bearer to approach with your wedding bands–your chosen symbol of your vows.
[Sword Bearer and Chalice Bearer approach the altar stone, and both holding the rings, present to the priest/ess.]
Priest/ess holds hand over rings, speaks to bearers: Your hands beneath serve as a symbol of how <Groom> and <Bride>’s marriage is supported upon this earth by the love of their friends and family.
Priest/ess blesses the rings:
Lord and Lady, guardians of all that is seen and unseen,
Charge these rings, a perfect circle without beginning or end,
that they become a talisman of blessing upon this couple who shall wear them.
Safeguard their marriage through all the seasons of their life together,
empowered through your eternal Divine Love.
Priest/ess takes rings from chalice and holds them aloft for crowd to see:
The wedding band is worn on the ring finger of the left hand, the side of the body that holds the heart, because there is a meridian of energy that runs directly from that finger to the heart chakra. It is believed that the words spoken during the placing of the ring will resonate over and over, like the circumference of the band itself, through to the soul of both giver and receiver. This resonance is the promise of a lifetime as husband and wife.
Ritual of Sword and Chalice:
SWORD: Groom presents his Ring and Takes his Vows
Swordbearer offers <Groom> the handle of the sword, saying to Groom: <Groom>, if it is truly your desire to become one with this woman: Then present to her a symbol of your pledge, and a token of your love.
[<Groom> takes sword, drops to one knee, and presents Sword to his Bride (Priest/ess places her ring on the tip of its blade.]
Priest/ess stands behind groom with hand on his shoulder and speaks his prepared words for him (or the Groom memorizes and recite from his POV:) <Bride>, you are the most gracious and lovely one that <Groom> has ever seen, for he understands the essence of your true self. The pledge of his sword is as the pledge of his soul. It is his prowess, his fire, his passion, his strength & courage, his ability to protect, defend and care for you. With the strength of his blade and the endurance of its steel to represent what is in his heart, take from him now, as his beloved, the ring that rests upon it.
[<Bride> takes ring from Sword.]
Priest/ess prompts Bride and she says: “I accept the pledge of your blade and the eternal promise of this wedding band.”
[<Bride> takes sword from <Groom> and with the motion as in bestowing knighthood, places the blade flat from left shoulder to right shoulder to the top of his head, while saying:]
Priest/ess prompts Bride and she says: “For the boy you were, For the man you are, And for the King you shall be to me, I do choose you to be my own, and call you Husband.”
[<Bride> stabs sword into ground between them. Groom stands.]
Priest/ess to <Groom>: <Groom> if you will now place this ring upon <Bride>’s finger, and repeat after me:
[<Bride> opens hand presenting <Groom> with the ring which he then places upon her finger. They both place hands on the amethyst stone.]
Priest/ess prompts <Groom> to repeat: “With this ring I thee wed.
I take you as my friend, my lover, my wife from this day forth
and into the fullness of time, where we will meet, and remember, and love again. Blessed be!”
CHALICE: Bride presents her ring and takes her vows:
[Chalice Bearer hands Chalice to <Bride>, Priest/ess adds ring to chalice]
Chalice Bearer: <Bride>, if it is truly your desire to become one with this man: Then present unto him a symbol of your pledge and a token of your love.
[<Bride> kneels before <Groom> and presents Chalice with ring inside. ]
Priest/ess stands behind bride with a hand on her shoulder and speaks her prepared words for her (or the bride memorizes and recite from her point of view:)
<Groom>, in the eyes of this woman you are the only man in the world. Yours is the voice of sound reason and unwavering support. You are the spark to the bonfire of her passions and yours are the arms in which she would lay down to rest. The pledge of her chalice is the pledge of all that is within her. The place in her heart where two souls can be sheltered and nourished, that they may grow together, and flourish like the fruits of the vine. The offering of her chalice foretells the richness of your future together. Take from her now the band that lies there within.
[<Groom> takes ring from chalice.]
<Groom> says: “I accept the pledge of your chalice and the eternal promise of this wedding band.
[ Priestess offers groom the pitcher of Wine. <Groom> pours wine into chalice then takes it from <Bride>, she stands.]
Priest/ess prompts <Groom> who raises the chalice aloft in a toast to her: For the girl you were, For the woman you are, And for the wife that you shall be to me, I drink to you and choose you to be my own, and call you my wife.”
[<Groom> makes toasting gesture, drinks deeply and returns chalice to <Bride> ]
Priest/ess: “<Bride>, If you will now place this ring upon <Grooms>’s finger, and repeat after me.
[<Groom> opens hand presenting <Bride> with the ring which she then places upon his finger. Both rest hands on Amethyst Stone.]
Priest/ess prompting <Bride>: “With this ring, I thee wed. I take you as my friend, my lover, my husband from this day forth, and into the fullness of time, where we will meet, and remember, and love again. Blessed be!”
Cakes and Wine Ceremony
Priest/ess:
As the Lord and Lady are The Two Who Move as One, so have your pledges interwoven you. We offer the first pour in offering to the Spirits Assembled. [pours out a little] Drink now and know that you will never again thirst, for what each of you lacks the other has to give, and the well spring of love flows eternally for those who drink often of it’s waters.
<Bride> and <Groom> offer to each other in turn: “You are God/dess, may you never thirst” and sip from chalice. [Priest/ess takes chalice.]
Priest/ess offering the cakes: As food nourishes the body, so does love feed the soul of marriage. We save the first bites in offering to the Spirits assembled. Feed now one another, feed forevermore the spirit of your union, and be filled always.
<Bride> and <Groom> offer to each other: “You are God/dess, may you never hunger.” [They feed one another the cake.]
Hand-Fasting Cord Ritual
Priestess to Bride and Groom: Remember then as your hands are fasted together, that these are the magickal ties that bind, that no person can tear asunder, no court can dissolve. Is it your wish today that you be hand-fasted in the ways of old?”
<Bride> and <Groom>: “It is.”
[The Bride and Groom each clasp the right forearm of the other]
Priest/ess: I now invite the Blue Cord Bearers to approach:
Blue cord bearers to couple: Will you share yourselves freely and generously with each other, making time to be together?
Couple: We will. [The dark blue cord is wrapped three times around the couple’s hands.]
Priest/ess: The first binding is thus made with dark blue, symbolic of Water, that your love may flow and fill you to your depths.
Priest/ess: I now invite the Green Cord Bearers to approach.
Green Cord bearers to couple: Will you each seek to ease the other’s pain and suffering, sharing laughter and joy?
Couple: We will. [The green cord is wrapped three times around the couple’s hands.]
Priest/ess: The second binding is thus made with green, symbolic of Earth, that your love may be wise and nurturing, and your happiness abundant.
Priest/ess: I now invite the Red Cord Bearers to approach.
Red Cord Bearers to couple: Will you strive to keep your romance alive through daily actions and words of encouragement?
Couple: We will. [The red cord is wrapped three times around the couple’s hands.]
Priest/ess: The third binding is thus made with red, symbolic of Fire, that your love may be bright and passionate.
Priest/ess: I now invite the Yellow Cord Bearers to approach.
Yellow Cord Bearers to couple: Will you both help each other to grow in spirit and wisdom?
Couple: We will. [The yellow cord is wrapped three times around the couple’s hands.]
Priest/ess: The fourth binding is thus made with yellow, symbolic of Air, that your love may be as limitless as the sky, and filled with spirit.
Priest/ess raises the White Cord: The fifth binding is thus made with a cord of White, Silver and Gold, for the Divine Spirit of the Lord and the Lady. All things of the material world eventually return to the Earth, unlike the bond that your spirits share, which dwells in the heavens.
[Priestess wraps the white cord 3 times around couple’s hands, organizes them all neatly in a lose, draping fashion, then tucks the tails into the grasp of each one’s fist, for ease of tying.]
Priest/ess with hand resting on their joined hands in blessing: May you be joined as One within Divine Love. You may now Tie the Knot!
[<Bride> and <Groom>’s grasp the cords and pull through to form the knot.]
Priest/ess: I now pronounce you Husband and Wife! Seal your pledge with a kiss! [Couple kisses as the crowd applauds]
Priest/ess: This magick is good and truly made. Our Bride and Groom are now one and it is time for us to end and celebrate their future with our revels!
Jumping the Besom and Sword:
[Bride/Groom and Priest/ess move to the southern quarter of the circle and are met by the Broom bearer and Sword Bearer:]
Priest/ess: Brooms symbolize the sweeping away of remnants of the past which no longer serve us. The sword symbolizes the wielding of personal responsibility. The witnesses to the legal marriage will now lay down the broom and sword, so that the legal and spiritual will be forever linked.
[Sword over broom, forming a gateway.]
Now, putting the past behind you, and remembering always that the power to create the future is your own. Jump together into your common future! JUMP THE BROOM!
[The couple jumps, kisses again! Everyone Cheers! ]
Priest/ess: Let us now release our temple! Great Goddess and God, Lord and Lady, I release you now with our gratitude, and invite you to walk among us during our revels. Elements of Air, Fire, Water and Earth, we are grateful for your presence among us at this sacred time, help Buddy and Clare to manifest a successful life together. We release you now! Return once more to your fair and lovely realms. Hail and Farewell!
[Gatekeepers all draw the banishing pentagram and seal their gate.]
This Circle is Open, but Never Broken; Merry Meet, and Merry Part and Merry Meet again!
[Priestess releases the outer circle, and grounds remaining energies. Exit music plays on the sound system. All participants circle widdershins to withdraw through the Eastern gate and continue the revels and feast.]
- Adapted from Ed Fitch’s “Rights from the Crystal Well”
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