Catholic Memoirist Richard Rodriguez on God, Islam, and Finding Faith in the Midst of Darkness

By Barbara Falconer Newhall

The occasion was a two-fer book talk by two Catholics. Kaya Oakes would be talking about her Catholicism-to-atheism-and-back-to-Catholicism memoir, Radical Reinvention: An Unlikely Return to the Catholic Church. And Catholic memoirist Richard Rodriguez would be talking about his essay collection, Darling: A Spiritual Autobiography.

Oakes started the conversation with a blunt question to her fellow memoirist: “Why do you believe in God?” she wanted to know.

“Do I believe in God?” Rodriguez paused and thought about it. He didn’t seem to want to answer the question on its own terms. Instead he said, “I feel a commitment to Jesus and the life of Jesus.”

He then proceeded to tell a story about Mother Teresa. During Mother Teresa’s 1987 visit to San Quentin State Prison just north of San Francisco, Rodriguez reported, the diminutive sister addressed a group of painfully respectful death row inmates. “If you want to see the face of God,” she told the men, “look at the prisoner standing next to you.” Then she added, “I see the face of God when I look at you.”

After their talk, Rodriguez, Oakes and their audience strolled the few blocks from Faith Presbyterian Church, where the conversation took place, to the Sagrada Sacred Arts store on Telegraph Avenue for a book signing. There, surrounded by candles, crystals, meditation bells, icons, and, of course, books, Rodriguez signed copies of Darling.

When my turn came to get my book signed and chat with the author, the conversation turned philosophical. Rodriguez looked at me and repeated Mother Teresa’s words, “I see the face of God when I look at you.”

I was touched. I studied Rodriguez’ lovely Mexican American face for a moment and thought to myself, “Yeah. If God had a face, it would look pretty much like that.”

More Pithy Thoughts From Richard Rodriguez

• Do I consider myself a gay writer? No, I consider myself a morose writer.
• The violence in the world right now tells me that men are afraid of women. It’s the old tyranny of the male, but I think the male is more insecure than ever.
• After 9/11 I wanted to go toward Islam. I wanted to know what the energy was.
• Not to have read the Qur’an is to be half-educated right now.
• America is a religion. As a Christian, I’m not in complete synch with America.
• It is possible to be a believer and be in darkness.
• When I write, things come to me that I didn’t originate. They just come to me.
• Really good writing is sitting in place so that it happens when you are at your desk where you can write it down, and not when you are out jogging.
• Everything seems to participate in mystery – the Paris subway, Elvis, Las Vegas. There is nothing you can’t write about, because everything is coated with mystery.

“Darling: A Spiritual Autobiography,” by Richard Rodriguez, Penguin, $16, paper. “Radical Reinvention: An Unlikely Return to the Catholic Church,” by Kaya Oakes, Counterpoint, $15.95, paper.

A version of this story first appeared on www.BarbaraFalconerNewhall.com, where Barbara  riffs on life, family, books, writing, and her rocky spiritual journey. Her interfaith book, Wrestling with God: Stories of Doubt and Faith is scheduled for release this season by Patheos Press.