Teen Mania: ESOAL

I get a call every few weeks or so from a group called Teen Mania. I usually just put them on speaker, let them give me their 10 min spill, and I keep working on whatever I need to do.

Shocking I know, but youth pastors do actually work.

It’s been a while since I had a good reminder about why I will never participate in anything this group does. Then I saw this story over at Jesus Needs New PR and everything came rushing back in.

Ever heard of ESOAL? Well, neither have I. Apparently it’s part of their Honor Academy. I always thought that Ron Luce and his teen maniacs were militant in both their theology and practice, but I had no idea they actually had a boot camp to train their army.

Seriously.

Watch this video and try not to cringe. Make sure you keep an ear open for these wonderful lines: “when interns ate cat food” and “Don’t you yack it up. If you puck it up you’re gonna eat it back up again.”

If Teen Mania ever comes to your town please, please, please take your students and get out of Dodge.