And here's where we get back to Roberta and what to do about her rawness: in order to hold and bear the acute experience of vulnerability, she needs appropriate containers. The practice of consciously putting up boundaries is part of creating a container. Creating a boundary can mean something as simple as maintaining a physical distance between you and another person (for most people, 29 to 35 inches is a comfortable distance for conversation). But it also involves setting personal limits, being able to say 'No' appropriately, understanding who you're willing to let into your intimate inner circle.
Another form of container is our relationships of trust; certain friendships, our teacher, or practice community can help us find safe spaces in which to open. But ultimately, the container I'm talking about is the inner body vessel created through focused practice and contemplation. All yogic disciplines, bottom line, aim at strengthening not just the body, but the energy body—through concentration, through the practice of stillness, through learning how to find and occupy the core of our being, the inner Center from which we can safely ride out internal and external storms. Short-term practice can be helpful, but ultimately, that container is formed through accumulated practice and self-inquiry. There's an unmistakable energetic strength that comes from having met and re-met the spaciousness behind the mind, the Witness Self, the space between breaths, the Great Beloved in the heart, the invulnerable inner Self.
Its only when we have such a container that we can truly step into radical vulnerability. In Part 2, we'll look more deeply at what this means.
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