“Every single day is the same day, just wash and repeat,” Felicia smiled as tears began to fall down her right cheek. “When Doug lost his job last year he became so depressed that I all of a sudden became a single mom to our three kids. And I have to go to a job five days a week that I hate, do the laundry, dishes…” She stopped and let her tears turn to sobs.
The emotion that Felicia felt at the unfolding of her life was overwhelming even for me and sniffled.
“You are exhausted,” I affirmed.
Felicia nodded and took a tissue off my side table to wipe her eyes. “I’m petrified we are going to lose everything.”
I hadn’t even begun our session when Felicia’s mom came through in spirit. They shared the same corn blue colored eyes, auburn hair and thin shape and there was no denying the relation. I could tell that her mom felt helpless as she witnessed her daughter’s hopelessness. Although Felicia was grateful that her mom came to her session, she didn’t see how her mom could help. But I did.
“Let’s look at the things that we can change, okay?” I volunteered, taking out a note pad.
For the next hour we looked at scenarios in her life that could help raise extra finances, re-find her passion, and set her (and her family) back on course. We had a plan. The plan, however, didn’t come from me – it came directly from her mom who used me as the messenger. And at the end of the session Felicia’s smile came without tears but instead with a bit of hope, even if it was just the dawn of it.
As I gave her a final goodbye hug, her mom played me a song in my head that I recognized, but couldn’t figure out the connection.
“Felicia, what does the group Boston have to do with anything?”
Felicia began to laugh. “Mom loved Boston. The group, that is. She loved the songs ‘Don’t Look Back’ and ‘Peace of Mind’. In fact we played ‘Don’t Look Back’ at her funeral.” Felicia shook her head in disbelief. “So, she’s really with me?”
I nodded, smiled and greeted my next client. I am sure Felicia’s smile didn’t stop that whole day.
“It isn’t what happens to us that causes us to suffer; it’s what we say to ourselves about what happens.”
With Felicia and her mom’s approval, a portion of Felicia’s list that she decided to call her ‘Be Strong’ list:
- SIMPLIFY. Go through the clutter, outgrown clothing, etc and have a garage sale, sell to consignment stores, throw away, etc.
- PLAY. Sit down with the kids – no electronics – and play.
- RE-FOCUS. Focus only on what CAN be changed.
- OWN IT. Own your life – the good, the bad and the ugly. Stop blaming or pointing fingers.
- GRATITUDE. Keep track of the things you’re grateful for. Start a gratitude journal and express your thanks daily. It helps to focus on the day.
- RESUME. Sparkle the resume and start sending out.
- ENLIGHTEN. Watch and re-watch, and watch again, Steve Jobs’ 2005 commencement speech and Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture.
- CHANCES. Take chances. And if you fall, don’t stop – patch your wound, but take another chance.
- HELP. Help what and who you can, but if they don’t want help – move on to what you can and who you can help.
- SEEK GUIDANCE. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help – even help from those on the Other Side.
- MUSIC. Turn on music as much as you can. Allow it to offer you the messages from your loved ones on the Other Side and your guides.
“Take a look ahead, take a look ahead. Look ahead.”
Three months later I received an email from Felicia – she did everything on her list and her husband and kids began their own ‘Be Strong’ list and things began to turn around. She received a promotion, her husband enrolled in online classes and they cleaned out the house and garage and made several thousand dollars and felt lighter – with peace of mind.
P.S. Happy Mother’s Day to all the mom’s out there. And if you are like Felicia and myself and have lost your mom – know that you can still dial the phone to the Other Side and wish them a happy day – and they in return can bring you a message and happiness too. Just wait and watch.