The Can’t Crusher

The Can’t Crusher May 3, 2014

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”

– George Bernard Shaw

Last Wednesday I breathed a huge sigh of relief after sending over my promised manuscript to my editor last week, several months late.  Although the book was something I had worked on for some time, and it was a topic that I loved talking about (Heaven), I was allowing the topic and the content to make me over analyze my ability and my message. After hinting to my lovely editor that with 50,000 words in, I was about to trash the whole thing and begin again, but instead of receiving a panicked what are you thinking response, I received a pep talk that helped me once again see things objectively.  It made me think of the quote that says, “Make sure that your own worst enemy isn’t the one living between your two ears”. How true that we often hurt ourselves more than anyone.

The next day my husband and I went out to celebrate with phones off, computers off, and detachment to the outside world. It was such a fun day being able to re-connect with what mattered, each other, yet there was something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on that was making me feel sad. Despite trying to hide it, my husband picked up on it immediately.

“What’s wrong?” Chuck asked.

“I’m trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up,” I laughed, yet not joking.

“Oh boy, here we go again,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Maybe I’d like a cooking show,” I shared.

“What would you call it?” Chuck asked, obviously patronizing me.

“I don’t know – Cooking with a Psychic,” I looked over to see Chuck smirking. “Okay, I haven’t figured that part out. But just stick with me. I can cook and bake while giving readings to the guests who are helping me. I can actually visualize it. I’ll film in a big farmhouse and my guests will sit around a kitchen island. Maybe it is haunted and we can do a ghost hunt. It hasn’t been done yet,” I appealed.

Chuck threw his hands up on the air. “No, Kristy, not the psychic part, but you just described every other cooking show. And then think of it – you are making a chocolate pie and you connect with someone’s grandpa who died from diabetes and you are feeding their grandchild sugar, someone is bound to be upset with you – the spirit or the guest. Or both.”

I looked over at Chuck and sighed, “Thanks for ruining my dream.”

He was joking with me and and he didn’t say it to make me feel bad, in fact I laughed pretty hard (although I still think it is a pretty good idea that needs some tweaking). The next day I was still lamenting on my next project.

For the last few years I’ve had a book concept in my head, even jotted some notes down. Today in the shower I heard from my higher self and guides to write that first book NOW. So when I got out of the shower, I sat down on the couch and decided to share the concept, the book title(s) and some characterizations with Chuck only to be met by Chuck staring at me. “Oh boy, here it comes,” I thought, waiting to hear his laundry list of issues with it, but instead he kept staring. “That bad?” I finally asked, obviously used to being shot down (My husband is a difficult critic, as is my dad and mom and kids and my ex and…oops, that is another story).

He slowly got up, gave me a kiss on the lips and said, “Cancel your plans for today and get that book written!”

I took that as a very good sign.  

As much as we don’t need acceptance from anyone, it does help, doesn’t it? To have a cheerleader, a sounding board, and someone that can help spell out the good, bad and ugly? But it is your life and whatever you choose is a choice affecting you first and foremost. Whether it is a new book, a television show, a career choice, or whatever else you can imagine, nothing will happen unless there is a decision that leads to a try and nothing can be accomplished unless a goal is created and steps are taken to find a means to get to that goal.

I see so many excuses, both in my office and on social media, and they all start with ‘I can’t’. I often reply, you’ve already written that story then and you either end with that or you re-write the story and remove the villain’. I was never allowed to use the ‘I can’t…’ in school. “It doesn’t mean that you can’t, it means that you won’t,” one of my favorite teachers would say. “Everyone can, but not everyone does.”

Who is the villain in your story that keeps adding cant’s? If it is you, then a re-write might need to be done. If it is someone else, then a re-write might need to be done. Either way, it is time to find the can’t in your life and crush it, otherwise you are left with regret that will leave you bitter.

Do what you love to do. Spend time with those worthy of giving up your time. Life is about creating yourself, not spent trying to find yourself. 

SoulWork: Make a list of all the things that you are saying ‘Can’t’ to and look at ways that you can. It might not be the right time to take action, but even adding the things you want to your Life List helps breath life into it for when the right timing comes about.  


Kristy Robinett


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