You know that a show or movie is fabulous when the characters and storylines feel real, and you can’t wait to see what happens next. Writers, directors and production companies thrive on that kind of reaction from viewers because it means big ratings, more shows/movies and more money. It is a very impersonal business, very one-sided. Lately there have been many remakes of old films. “Can’t they think of something original,” you often hear on social media and morning shows. The interesting thing is that we are all writer, directors and a production team – of our own lives, and many of us keep hitting rewind on old films and replaying them, over and over and over. Many of these life films aren’t the oldies but goodies, instead they are the dramas and tragedies. So why do we keep projecting the negative on our screens? Is it to learn from our mistakes, kind of like sport’s teams do after a game? Is it because we believe we should be punished in some cruel karmic way? Or could it be that we are just simply afraid and moving away from the comfortable uncomfortable leaves us just with the unknown and uncomfortable?
Five Ways to Get Out of Your Own Way
Stop thinking that you are owed something.
The last few weeks have been a bit rough for me. With an abundance of rejections on my plate, instead of pushing through and knowing that the rejection was to help me get closer to the yes, I wallowed, saying things like: “When is it my time?” and “But I’ve worked so hard for this!”
It hit me like a ton of bricks as I sat on my couch, sobbing (I am not afraid to admit that), feeling rejected, when I realized that I wasn’t owed anything except what I allowed myself to receive. Today’s society is filled with so much entitlement, a huge pet peeve of mine, and yet here I was, crying like a baby, feeling entitled. Stop thinking that you are owed something.
Stop comparing yourself.
Why them and not me? Why not them? There is enough of everything to go around, but if we spend too much time looking at what others have, we take time and energy away from ourselves and what we should be doing.
Write your story.
So now you’ve stop comparing and you’ve stopped believing that you are owed, it’s time to write your story. Or re-write your story. Or edit your story. You can do this in your mind, or simply pull out your laptop, of if you are old-school then a notepad and pen and write. What do you want your life to look like? Who do you want in your life? Who do you not want in your life? Do you want your life to be a comedy, a mystery or a drama? You choose. No, really, you do! There may be some glitches along the way, but if you have your scenes all least mocked up, the path will still remain there and you won’t have to construct a new set.
Be your biggest fan.
Think of your favorite TV or movie character and then think of why they are your favorite? Actually analyze it and see what personality characteristics you can take from that. Then look at the positives attributes that you offer. One of our biggest mistakes is thinking that our spouse, family and friends are supposed to be our biggest fans. Oh, it would be nice if they were, but it isn’t always apparent.
Many of you are aware of my dad through the stories I tell about him on Facebook. I can maybe count on one hand how many times he’s told me that he was proud of me. If I show him a book that I wrote, he asks me why I didn’t write three. He thinks he’s funny, and many times I blow it off, but there are times it is hurtful. I’ve gotten better at sharing that with him. But it was through a recent hurtful and painful conversation with him about my weight that made me realize nobody is going to support me like I want them to, but I can support me like I deserve. Be your biggest fan, friends.
Only rewind if you can take a lesson from it.
You really can’t change the past, only the future, and yet our fingers seem to be on that rewind then play buttons. What good is it to beat yourself up over what was and what wasn’t, unless you find the lesson in it and learn what not to do, and what to do for the future.
So is your story line old and in need of refreshing? Right now is a great time to start getting out of your way and not finding your way, but creating your way.