You would think this would be simple for me. I helped move my step-daughter Cora to Eastern Michigan eight years ago, and then my step-daughter Molly to Michigan State University two years later and my daughter Micaela to Wayne State University in 2012. Now on August 30th I will move our final child, and only son Connor, to Michigan State University and officially become an empty nester. And I’m not doing well. I’ve been the one crying in the school supply aisle at Target. Sniffling in the bed section at Bed, Bath and Beyond, following him around the house asking for hugs, and over all been a hot mess since he graduated from high school in May, but even more as the days have grown closer to the move-in date.
I’ve received lots of advice, and I’ve received a lot of ridicule. I’ve been scolded for being emotional, because after all he’s just going away and he hasn’t died. He’s not even going off to war, just the 7th floor of a college dorm not even two hours away. I’ve been told numerous times that I should be proud that I raised an intelligent and independent son who’s received the opportunity to attend a prestigious college. None of the advice or ridicule has helped. I am very proud of him, and I’m a fairly logical person and I understand the logic of it all, but my heart on the other hand is feeling sad.
It’s been over 21 years since I’ve had a house filled with quiet. No last minute store runs, lunches to make, late night projects to help finish, scheduling of sporting events, drama events and trying to figure out how to work and write books in between the noise and busyness. No more arguments over dirty clothes, lost sport’s uniforms, or messy rooms. Every time I see a mom or dad outside or at the store with their small child, I want to run up to them and tell them to treasure this time because it goes so fast. I want to tell them to remember every argument, every temper tantrum, and hold their child tight during the times they want to crawl in your lap even when you want to do the dishes or take a shower. It’s so cliché, and I suppose I was told the same thing, and yet never took the advice. I never realized how fast this day would come.
My letting go will allow him to fly, even though it is so hard for me. Although the nest may be a whole lot quieter and a little more spacey, there’s always an open door for him (and any of our other kids). Life is truly a balance of holding on and letting go. I think back to when I taught the kids to ride their bicycles. You want to keep holding on so they don’t get hurt, but they won’t ever get the hang of it if you don’t let go.
He’ll do great, I know this, and I’ll be okay as long as I have a full box of Kleenex, and he calls me once in a great while. I’m also certain I will be documenting more of my journey of a new Empty Nester on my blog over here, and won’t bore you with newsletter updates that are filled with tear stained pages. 🙂
Believe,
Kristy
www.kristyrobinett.com
Kristy Robinett is an intuitive, life coach and author of several books. She is a mom and wife who loves farmhouses, front porches, iced tea and old cemeteries. Find Kristy at www.kristyrobinett.com.
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