Apparently, it’s more common than I wish to believe. In taking Gianna to one of her activities today, I overheard two mothers say this:
Mom #1 “My friend just found out she was pregnant. She has an 18 month old and a 4 year old and now this. It was a total accident. Isn’t that awful!”
Mom #2 “That is my worst nightmare!”
Both moms look in my direction to include me in this conversation.
My response: a deep sense of sadness, and then awkward silence. As I sat there, holding baby Augustine in one arm and my big toddler boy Charlie in the other, I wanted to scream, “my worst nightmare is a baby who dies, or a daughter who grows up so self-oriented that she says the same things these women just uttered.” By the grace of God I was silent.
It is at moments like this that I realize I truly have a very different perspective on children than these women. While my kids drive me absolutely bonkers at certain points during the day, I am reminded daily what a wonderful blessing they are, and I pray fervently that our family will be blessed with more children in the future. While I don’t expect everyone to want a larger family, or pray for more children, I do kind of expect a certain level of appreciation for the great gift of life, especially among other mothers. I guess this is crazy in our society where the message is that every baby should be a “planned baby” and parenthood is a choice one makes for personal fulfillment.
My only response in a situation like this is prayer. Prayer for these women, prayer for their children, and prayer for myself, that God gives me the grace to continue to see my children for the great miracle and blessing that they truly are.