Afraid of Commercials

It has happened... our five-year-Army-subsidized stint in Germany is drawing to a close. We have had two children here, traveled to countries of which I never dreamed and generally expanded our minds and opinions. The packers have taped the last box shut, we are vacuuming Cheerios out of our van to put it on a barge and I am more than a little pre-nostalgic. (is there a single word for this feeling? If you know it, comment please, I need that word all the time!)One thing we will lose when we … [Read more...]

Lead Us Not into Temptation

When I was a popular 13-year-old eighth grader at a privileged public middle school in glamtastic Southern California I shocked my parents silly.I requested to be driven across the bridge to take the placement exams for an all-girls-Catholic, uniform-wearing high school in the larger San Diego area. They complied with my request and I actually ended up attending that Catholic school as a freshman. What I did not tell my parents was that this school switch was an attempt to escape the … [Read more...]

An Army Wife who needs Petraeus Out of her Living Room

It is happening to me - I am getting sucked in. I want to know every detail of what the e-mails between GEN Petraeus and his hottie biographer, Paula Broadwell, said. I want to compare Mrs. Petraues and Paula Broadwell and understand why he cheated. This is like watching the fallout of a nasty accident on the highway, but so much more personal. Ever since I read about the extramarital affair of a man whom I had previously respected greatly, I am being psychologically eaten alive.I finally … [Read more...]


"You have four kids?" "You homeschool them?" "Ohh, you must be so patient, I could neeevver do that."This line of questioning, punctuated with the certain conclusion of my undoubted gifts as a mother has become a refrain in my life. I know the women who express their incredulity at my selfless nature in this manner are well-meaning, but I detest it.I am selfish. I fight it hard every day, every hour, I want to tell them. Rather than build me up and make me feel like the superwoman they … [Read more...]

The Illogical Mathematics of Motherhood

I  just had the "Band-Aid pulled off" here in my little Army apartment in Germany. We have a newborn baby and my mother left (after nearly two months of helping out) on Monday, my Dad on Wednesday and then my husband on Thursday for a two-week stint in Afghanistan. And I have four children.. alone.. and meal delivery has ceased. Horror of horrors. Defrost meat, what is that?  Furthermore, I am not a natural at this household management deal. I don't have systems. I don't have checklists. I need b … [Read more...]

Dismantling the Totem Pole of Selfishness

What do you mean I can't go running six days a week? Can't continue my quest to read all the Bronte Sisters and Charles Dickens? If I am being honest, these are the selfish questions that, all too often, creep into my young mother psyche.I used to chalk all my quasi-deprivation feelings up to the fact that I must have the wrong disposition for motherhood. Especially the brand of motherhood I have chosen (large family, homeschooling). Why don't I get excited about sewing bibs and curtains and … [Read more...]

Thoughts for Thursday

What am I cooking?Last night I made a Shepherd's Pie for a dear friend who is in the throes of morning sickness with her seventh pregnancy. I saved enough meat and frozen veggies to make us a family-size one tonight -- I will just have to whip up fresh mashed potatoes for the top. I love shepherd's pie because kids get all the food groups in each bite and the ingredients are toddler-boy-mouth-friendly.What are my weekend plans?With me at 37.5-weeks pregnant, we are on Grandma-watch. She … [Read more...]

My Statistically Unlovable-Improbable 3rd Child

I am an O- mom entering the last ten weeks of pregnancy, so it is time for my beloved Rhogam shot. For those of you who are not Rh negative, you may not be familiar with the risk associated with delivering Rh+ babies. Essentially my body is full of antibodies developed to combat any baby born with Rh+ blood. Enter Rhogam. This miraculous drug, developed just 40 years ago, is injected into my large pregnant gluteus maximus before each new baby is delivered and then again within 72 hours … [Read more...]

“I hardly ever play with my children.”

Last night, as I lay in bed stroking my 6-year-old daughter's hair, she rolled over and asked, "do you think you will maybe have time to play with my new plastic dolls with me tomorrow?" It wasn't a frustrated or annoyed question, but her tone with these types of questions has recently shifted from a hopeful request to a hopeful request tinged with skepticism. After all, her skepticism is merited, the next 24 hours have now gone by and I never sat down and made up voices and scenarios for the … [Read more...]

Soccer Cinderella

I got home at 12:45 AM last night. I am within 24 hours of the most incredible sport spectacle I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing live.  A friend offered me the opportunity to use one of their tickets to go to the Women's World Cup Final (USA v. Japan) in Frankfurt. Immediately the rational, sensible, mother-of-seven-years-side of me went into gear. Kick-off wasn't until 20:45, Ethan is away and I have three children... I couldn't go! Fortunately, the passionate, … [Read more...]