Ich, Kinderfresser


The Kinderfresser at Kornhausplatz, Bern


The Kinderfresser (roughly, “devourer of children”) is an ogre in Germanic folklore who . . . well, eats bad children.  A locally famous sixteenth-century statue of the Kinderfresser can be found in the Swiss federal capital, Bern, in a fountain on Kornhausplatz.


In certain circles, the image above could probably pass as an image of yours truly, so vicious and cruel am I imagined to be.  Thus, I was delighted to find another online photo of the Kinderfresser, this one with added words:


The “smoking gun” that proves my identity?


“Nom! Nom! Nom!” says the Kinderfresser, as one of his next victims cries out desperately for help.  Now, you might imagine that the “Nom” is an attempt to imitate the sound of the ogre gorging on a tasty child.  But you would be wrong.  It actually stands for “New Order Mormon,” and it represents my ugly zeal to persecute anybody who doesn’t view Mormonism in precisely the same narrow-minded and intolerant way that I do.


In this Age of Google, the truth will always out.


Posted from Newport Beach, California.



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  • MP

    But does this explain the common variant, “Om, Nom, Nom” ?

  • Stephen Smoot

    Du bist nicht nur ein Kinderfresser, Herr Doktor, aber auch Krampus, Mephistopheles, usw. Du bist wirklich das schlechtesten Ungeheuer der Welt!

  • http://mormon.org Tracy Hall Jr

    One evil glance from Austria’s Krampus can send Switzerland’s Kinderfresser running with his tail between his legs!