The Kinderfresser (roughly, “devourer of children”) is an ogre in Germanic folklore who . . . well, eats bad children. A locally famous sixteenth-century statue of the Kinderfresser can be found in the Swiss federal capital, Bern, in a fountain on Kornhausplatz.
In certain circles, the image above could probably pass as an image of yours truly, so vicious and cruel am I imagined to be. Thus, I was delighted to find another online photo of the Kinderfresser, this one with added words:
“Nom! Nom! Nom!” says the Kinderfresser, as one of his next victims cries out desperately for help. Now, you might imagine that the “Nom” is an attempt to imitate the sound of the ogre gorging on a tasty child. But you would be wrong. It actually stands for “New Order Mormon,” and it represents my ugly zeal to persecute anybody who doesn’t view Mormonism in precisely the same narrow-minded and intolerant way that I do.
In this Age of Google, the truth will always out.
Posted from Newport Beach, California.