What Difference Does It Make?: The Kaleidoscope Effect


For the better part of a year, I’ve been working on understanding a book and a doctrine that, shall we admit, are not “bestsellers.” In fact, one of my readers very softly commented:

“It was a long and complicated series, and I’m afraid that the truly interested layman ‘in all the details’ might be hard to find. I found a lot of it very, very interesting, and I certainly had no conception that the Trinity could possibly generate that much insight from either you or your author/book. I think, however, of ***’s comment; something about simplicity. I do think that academics gets into such ‘deep stuff’ that the average person tends to respond with ‘who cares?’ or ‘what difference does it make?’”

Perhaps this person was voicing your own thoughts. Nearly eight full months on the history of Trinitarian thought? What difference does it make?

Part of me wants to start all over again, and do a better job so that the wonderful “difference” is made clearer, both to you and to me. I think of some of the gentle saints I have known and loved in this world, calm, clear-eyed, and faithful souls whose loving, devout relationship to the Lord was uncomplicated, unfettered, and straightforward. Simple rhythms of “please, Lord,” and “thank you so much, Father,” and “help me be better,” and “praise you, Jesus!” Is the Trinity so thorny an issue that it’s inevitably inaccessible to the non-academic sort?

I think if we really understood the Trinity, it would pristinely beautiful to all of us, the ones with the fussy brains and the ones with the pure hearts. The kaleidoscope of Trinitarian angles is, yes, a jumble of images and thoughts, colors and lights, and it seems in constant motion, hard to “read.” And still, it can be beautiful, and wonderful, and, beyond anything, hopeful.

But then I thought again about the question: What difference does it make? And I wondered then about what difference it made that we waded through all these things, for the most part in labored silence, me pecking away on the keyboard and you trying to make some sense of my ruminations. What have we been doing? to what end? While Anatolios’s Retrieving Nicaea pushed me during the day, it was George Eliot’s Middlemarch that tucked me in at night. And there I read this:

“… the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.”

Here, then, is the rationale for the smallness of deeds, yours and mine. Our days are full of “unhistoric acts,” and our greatest calling may simply be to “live faithfully a hidden life.” A hidden pondering, shifting colors, catching glimpses, losing vision, gaining vision. And thus the difference it all makes is unmeasurable, modest, clandestine even. “For your life is hidden with Christ in God…” (Col. 3.3). Wrestle quietly and perhaps even ineffectually with history and theology, ideas and images, and perhaps never really understand, never see the value. Yet still, insofar as it is an act of faithfulness, an act of holy desire, as Augustine would describe it … it is good. And it is enough.


Photo: PLUM…a Spoo and a Weim

About K. Mulhern

Kathleen Mulhern teaches courses in world history, European history, and history of Christianity. She has taught at Denver Seminary, Colorado School of Mines, and Regis University. She particularly focuses on the historical roots of the political, economic, religious, and cultural systems that have contributed to contemporary society.

  • kalim

    Said Nursi proved the existence of God in his books (Risalei Nur collection) (23 th flash)

    I want to share these sentences

    Their prophets said: “Is there any doubt about God, Creator of the heavens and the earth?”

    O man! You should be aware that there are certain phrases which are commonly used and imply unbelief. The believers also use them, but without realizing their implications. We shall explain three of the most important of them.
    The First: “Causes create this.”
    The Second: “It forms itself; it comes into existence and later ceases to exist.”
    The Third: “It is natural; Nature necessitates and creates it.”
    Indeed, since beings exist and this cannot be denied, and since each being comes into existence in a wise and artistic fashion, and since each is not outside time but is being continuously renewed, then, O falsifier of the truth, you are bound to say either that the causes in the world create beings, for example, this animal; that is to say, it comes into existence through the coming together of causes, or that it forms itself, or that its coming into existence is a requirement and necessary effect of Nature, or that it is created through the power of One All-Powerful and All-Glorious. Since reason can find no way apart from these four, if the first three are definitely proved to be impossible, invalid and absurd, the way of Divine Unity, which is the fourth way, will necessarily and self-evidently and without doubt or suspicion, be proved true.

  • James A. Shane MD

    It is a great series, well written by a brainy and Godly woman. Easy to read and interspersed with personal asides and witticisms, which kept me forging ahead. It was heavy enough to exceed the usual evangelical fare and historically and theologically “light” enough to make me anxious for the next. Much of what I had heard over the years, disjointedly, was brought together and explained well to a Bible student who is a nontheologian. I look forward to more of Kathy Mulhern writings.

  • http://briarcroft.wordpress.com Emily Gibson

    Ah, the faithfully lived hidden life–it is enough, it is good, and most of all, what you are doing is making a difference in ways you may never fully know.

  • bob krulish

    From this simple layman to my favorite author, scholar and professor: You Rock! :)

  • Jim Means

    I loved this blog. Great and insightful. My favorite author!

  • http://theunlitcigarette.wordpress.com/ Val

    You are fast becoming my favorite author, Ms. Mulhern. :)

    As you wrote: Our days are full of “unhistoric acts,” and our greatest calling may simply be to “live faithfully a hidden life.”

    So true.

  • Pastor Dave Clark

    I love your imagery, it’s fresh and exciting. Thank you for sharing.

  • Pingback: yellow october()

  • Pingback: xxxcams.mobi()

  • Pingback: alkaline water()

  • Pingback: kangen water machine()

  • Pingback: kangen water machine()

  • Pingback: water ionizer()

  • Pingback: water ionizers()

  • Pingback: alkaline water()

  • Pingback: alkaline water()

  • Pingback: blue notepad()

  • Pingback: Ayala Land Premier()

  • Pingback: Cebu Ayala Land()

  • Pingback: cat 4 brother()

  • Pingback: blue ofica()

  • Pingback: water ionizer()