1. Jen writes:
“Sometimes I think it would be cathartic to just blow it out and have a Complaining Olympics where we all write posts venting about what we’re struggling with right now, and no caveats allowed. “
I think this is an awesome idea. Here goes…
Some people look really cute in glasses. I don’t think I’m one of those people. Really, I know it’s stupid to complain about being blonde (I like my hair, I really do), but it doesn’t go well with glasses. I wore wire rims for a long time, and then one night as I was reading in bed, my husband pulled up next to me and said, “Wow…You really look like…Doc Baker…
So I thought it was time to get some new glasses. And in order to make sure my whole face didn’t turn into a bland blonde blob, I decided to go with the hipster frames, you know the dark ones that make everyone look smart and funny and ironic like Tina Fey?
On me they look like this:
So…Contacts it is…and lots of mascara.
I had a friend in college who was also very fair, and she used to put her mascara on in the shower, because we lived in a co-ed dorm, and she didn’t want to get caught walking back to her room without her eyes done. “You never know when you might meet your husband!” she’d say, which makes it sound like it was ages ago. I guess it was actually. My fifteen year reunion is next week or something. Not going.
Anyway, My husband has almost black hair, and really dark eyes, and the thickest blackest lashes you’ve ever seen. Guess which of my kids got those genes? Not the girls.
I keep having a recurring dream. It’s a nightmare. And it looks like this:
Recently, the weather was warm (a first this year, because it’s been cold until yesterday), and when I got in my hot car, it smelled like it did last summer when I was sick as a dog with my most recent pregnancy. It made me nauseous all over again, and then I worried that maybe I’m pregnant again, even though the very flattering picture above was taken only a few months ago. I actually bought the pregnancy test and, mercifully, I am not, but it turns out that nausea is nostalgic.
I was taking a walk the other night, and I looked up on a lamppost, and there was a red-winged blackbird sitting up there making a big fuss. I pointed it out to the kids in the stroller, and we watched it complain for awhile with it’s mouth wide-open. I sort of wished I’d had a camera, because it’s little silhouette looked pretty on the post in front of the grey sky.
Then it did the strangest thing: It swooped down and dive-bombed right at my head. I ducked and screamed a little and ran past it as fast as I could. “That was weird,” I said, “I’ve never been attacked by a bird,” realizing as I said it that the only way home was to walk past it again. I thought, surely, it was a fluke. But when I walked past it again, the exact same thing happened–dive bomb, right at my face.
I told my dad about it later, and he said, “You didn’t hear about the woman in Carmel who had her eyes pecked out last week? The birds have been acting very strange lately. It might be the climate.”
That’s how he jokes, of course. Apparently the birds dive-bomb his dogs all the time, and it usually just means they have a nest nearby.
So really, that’s all I have to complain about right now. I love the late Spring weather we’re having. I love the flowers blooming. I love that my kids are out of school, and I love that my sister and her family are moving home from Guam next week. I love that my husband brings home pies when he works on the west side. I love that my cousin is having her first baby any day now. I also love that I bribed my kids to clean my house this morning by offering them computer time. They did a great job.
I realize it’s totally tone-deaf to complain when a tornado has blown apart an elementary school, and other people are suffering. Just know, I see the suffering in the world, and I have no idea what to do about it, except to count my blessings.
You’ve been in my prayers, Oklahoma.
If you missed the roundtable discussion with Calah, Marc, and Sam on Wednesday night, I think you should find it archived here soon. Everyone’s planning a follow-up post of some sort that moves the conversation towards a true sex-education. I’ll keep you posted.