In a recent interview, “Domestic goddess” Nigella Lawson takes on what she refers to as the current cultural obsession with “clean eating.” To put it bluntly, $10 cold-pressed green juices and quinoa bowls are a lifestyle choice — it doesn’t make you virtuous. “There is a way in which food is used either to self-congratulate — you’re a better person because you’re eating like that — or to self-persecute, because you will not allow yourself to eat the foods you... Read more
How do you know when it’s OK to keep bringing something up? As a marriage and family therapist, hardly a day goes by when I don’t hear a wife ask if she is “being a nag” or hear a husband accuse a wife of the same. (Curiously, I rarely hear husbands worry about this or hear wives accuse husbands of this “crime.”) Nagging Defined. To be fair, there are times when a person can be a nag. For instance, if... Read more
Pope Francis has declared this to be a Year of Mercy but…so what? What does it mean to be merciful? And what difference does this year make to families? The Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy illustrate that mercy means treating others in a way that allows them to see their worth in God’s eyes. We Are All Royal We are all God’s children and baptism enables us to be prophets, priests, and royals. The Works of Mercy remind us... Read more
Why are “nones” on the rise? The answer might surprise you. I recently gave a radio interview about the latest Pew Center finding that “nones” (unchurched/”spiritual not religious”) are the fastest growing demographic on the religious scene. The interviewer asked me if I thought the increasingly secular culture was responsible for both the loss of faith and the breakdown of the family. I surprised him by saying that the research suggests it just might be... Read more
In light of the recent tragedy in San Bernardino, the New York Daily News and other outlets (notably, HuffPo) have challenged believers by, essentially, saying, “spare us your prayers. God isn’t going to fix this.” As a pastoral counselor, I hear different versions of this all the time. Specifically, “What good is prayer if I have to do all the work anyway?” Many people have an incomplete–and frankly, disordered–understanding of the purpose of prayer. They engage in prayer as if... Read more
“I just feel so, blah.” Said Carly, age 31. “Once the leaves fall off the trees, everything gets so gloomy and grey. I just can’t get motivated and I feel sluggish all day. When the snow hits, I just wish I could crawl into bed and stay there until Spring. I joke that I must be part bear, but honestly, the way I feel most of the fall and winter doesn’t put me in... Read more
In Discovering God Together: The Catholic Guide to Raising Faithful Kids my wife and I share research showing that the likelihood that a child will grow up to own their faith is directly related to the degree they experience the faith as the source of the warmth in their home. Everything else–everything from mass attendance, to catechesis, to family prayer, to moral instruction–is essential, but secondary to the children’s experience as the faith as the source of the warmth in their... Read more
Dr. Eric Haseltine is a recognized expert in both neuroscience and counter-terrorism. He has a great article in Psychology Today about how understanding the way our brains work can lead us to a healthy response to terrorism. Although he is not writing from a religious perspective, regular readers of Faith on the Couch will recognize how consistent Dr. Haseltine’s approach is with the Theology of the Body, the assertion by Pope St. John Paul the Great that by understanding the... Read more
Interesting article on the soul-searching of religious “nones” and whether they should saddle their children with their own doubts. What if the religion you rejected was a rich and wonderful part of your own childhood that made you feel protected and safe? Should you attempt somehow to recreate that feeling, along with transmitting your secular perspective, so that your children can make their own decision? But how can you do that with integrity if you no longer believe what you... Read more
A guest post by Pastoral Solutions Institute Clinical Pastoral Counselor, Dave McClow, M.Div, LMFT. Cardinal Kasper thinks that “heroism is not for the average Christian.” Can you hear Jesus say, “Be mediocre, as your heavenly Father is mediocre”? Or, “If it is hard to do, don’t bother picking up your cross”? Or, “Lay down your life if it’s convenient”? I don’t think sooo…. Men need to be challenged! They need to be loved, but they definitely need to be challenged... Read more
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