“How Do You Teach Your Boys Not To Rape?” Asks Mom

In a Facebook thread on the Brock Turner rape case, a mother posed the provocative question that serves as the title of this post,  “How do we teach boys not to rape?” It is a remarkable question.  But, I believe there is a simple and solid answer. The Opposite of Love St. John Paul the Great reminded us that the opposite of love is not hate, but use.  When we love someone, we build them up, we make them feel… Read more

Cosmo and Vice Magazine Say Public Waking Up to Dark Side of The Pill

There have been two major secular articles in the last several months–one in Cosmopolitan and the other in the online pop mag Vice–that explore why women should think twice about their casual acceptance of the Pill. I encourage everyone to read the articles (with the qualifier that the are both fairly graphic and use potentially offensive language) and promote the articles far and wide.  People need to know about the truth of how the Pill is wrecking both women’s health and relationships and… Read more

Q&A: WHY DO CATHOLICS HAVE SO MANY STUPID RULES ABOUT MARRIAGE & WEDDINGS?

It’s wedding season and the following  question popped up on a Facebook thread I participated in. There were a lot of solid responses offered, but the questioner mentioned that he felt my response made the most sense to him, so I thought I would share the interaction. QUESTION:  My girlfriend is a Protestant and her mother recently asked her a question that I haven’t been able to find much information on. She asked, “Why can’t a Protestant and a Catholic… Read more

Why Isn’t Married Sex “Hot”? And Should It Be?

At PsychCentral, Dr. Linda Hatch has a thought provoking article that gets at the heart of the difference I draw in my book,  Holy Sex! , between eroticism, which is sex that is hyper-focused on pleasure to the exclusion of intimacy, and what I call “Holy Sex”, which sees pleasure as the fruit of the emotionally and spiritually intimacy that a couple cultivates in a marriage.  She says, Hot sex is the sugar high of sexuality. It is sex that is… Read more

Pornography: A Public Health Crisis

The question is no longer just about the morality of porn.  The science shows it is a public health crisis. From the Chicago Tribune The thing is, no matter what you think of pornography (whether it’s harmful or harmless fantasy) the science is there. After 40 years of peer-reviewed research, scholars can say with confidence that porn is an industrial product that shapes how we think about gender, sexuality, relationships, intimacy, sexual violence and gender equality – for the worse…. Read more

A Crisis In Catholic Fatherhood

A recent caller to my radio program said that she and her husband weren’t on the same spiritual level.  He didn’t go to mass or pray with her. He zoned out when she talked about the faith.  As a result, her children were starting to buck her efforts to form them in the faith.  The problem, as she saw it, was that “he’s a convert so it just isn’t reasonable for me to expect him to be in the same… Read more

So, What IS Modesty Anyway?

Fellow Patheosi, Rebecca Bratten-Weiss posted a terrific article that cuts through a lot of the nonsense people say about what modesty is and what it isn’t.  You should read the whole thing, but here is a sample. If modesty is a virtue, it should be for everyone, but in the usual account, if one is not young and hot, or if one lives in a culture which accepts nudity, is there no need for modesty? Some might respond that to… Read more

New Major Study of 160,000 Children Finds Spanking Causes Similar Harm As Abuse.

Children need solid discipline, consistent expectations, and solid structure, but there are many better ways to accomplish these ends than corporal punishment.  A new study examining 50 years of data derived from observations of 16,000 kids finds that spanking (defined as striking a child with an open hand) and abuse are not  substantively different phenomena but rather cause similar problems with child behavior and well-being.  According to the study… — The more children are spanked, the more likely they are… Read more

Trust Me (?)

  Trust is in the news a lot these days as candidates from both parties present their ideas and ask us to trust them to lead nation.  But the campaign raises an interesting question.  How do we ever know whom we can really trust?  It can be especially difficult to know whether to trust someone on a personal level–particularly  if they have hurt you in the past. Some people respond to this dilemma by trusting people too much and too… Read more

MRI Shows Breastfed Babies’ Brains Develop Better/Faster than Formula or Mixed-Fed Infants

Several weeks ago, I posted an article on how nursing facilitates the development of structures in the brain responsible for moral cognition, and a follow up article on how certain “high -touch” parenting practices (extended nursing, extravagant affection, skin-to-skin contact, “baby-wearing”, prompt response to cries) facilitate the development of the social brain.  In that latter article, I walked readers through how such parenting practices facilitate moral and social development.  This latest study from Brown University’s Baby Imaging Lab provides further,… Read more

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