Newsbites: The adaptations of comic books about the descendants of Jesus edition!

Two items, one new-ish, one old-ish.

1. MTV Splash Page reported yesterday that Jim Uhls has finished the second draft of his script for Rex Mundi, and now the producers, including Johnny Depp, are looking for a director.

The film will star Depp as someone named Dr. Julien Sauniere, and the original comic book concerned “the Holy Grail and a descendant of Jesus Christ” — but all of that must have seemed too similar to The Da Vinci Code (2006), in which one of the key characters was named Jacques Saunière, so Uhls has reportedly “changed the story somewhat”. However, it looks like Julien will get to keep his name, which, like Jacques’s, was presumably based on that of Bérenger Saunière, a priest who figures prominently in the conspiracy theories that inspired The Da Vinci Code.

It also looks like the film will still take place in a parallel reality in which magic is real, Martin Luther was assassinated, and the Roman Catholic Church goes on to dominate the world with the help of European monarchies well into the 20th century.

2. The Hollywood Reporter announced a few weeks ago that Gale Anne Hurd is producing an adaptation of The Magdalena, a comic-book series about a woman who discovers that she’s the latest in a long line of holy female warriors descended from Jesus and Mary Magdalene. Luke Goss, most recently seen playing the bad guy in Hellboy II: The Golden Army, will play Kristof, an agent who works with the Inquisition, an organization that helps these women do battle against various supernatural evils.

Yet another movie not screened for critics.

It’s been a while since I had to do this, but the summer is coming to an end, so… It is called Mirrors. It is a horror film. It is distributed by Fox. So, not surprisingly, as Lou Lumenick reports, it is not being shown to critics before it opens tomorrow.

Tropic Thunder — the review’s up!

My review of Tropic Thunder is now up at CT Movies.

Review: Tropic Thunder (dir. Ben Stiller, 2008)

Very few people saw Empire of the Sun when it came out 21 years ago, and possibly even fewer people remember it. But the effects of that World War II film — one of Steven Spielberg’s most underrated efforts — live with us still. It introduced the world to a 13-year-old kid from Wales named Christian Bale, who has since conquered the box office as The Dark Knight. It also featured a young man named Ben Stiller, in one of his very first roles, as a prisoner of war named Dainty. And it was while working on that film that Stiller first got the idea for Tropic Thunder.

[Read more…]

Newsbites: The ancient epic edition!

Time to catch up on some history, here.

1. Theseus is making a comeback in War of Gods, and Perseus is making a comeback in a remake of Clash of the Titans (1981). So it must be time for Jason to make a comeback, too, in The Argonauts, a new film being written and produced by comic-book specialist Zak Penn. Apparently there are also three Hercules movies in development at various studios, as well as God of War, “based on the epic Greek myth-inspired vidgame”. — Variety

2. Lionsgate has hired Dirk Blackman and Howard McCain to write the script for the upcoming Conan the Barbarian reboot, and the studio has also picked up their screenplay Amazon, which concerns the mythical female warriors and is currently set to star, uh, Scarlett Johansson. Blackman and McCain most recently collaborated on Outlander, the movie about an alien pursuing a monster with the help of some Vikings. — Hollywood Reporter

3. China Film Group and Dadi Media Group are planning a $22 million biopic about Confucius to mark the 60th anniversary of the People’s Republic of China next year. A “big-budget toon biopic” is also in the works; I wonder if it is related in any way to an animated series on Confucius that was announced last year. — Variety

4. Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg will star in Lars von Trier’s Antichrist, a “psychological thriller that evolves into a horror film”. Okay, there is no “ancient epic” hook here, but with a title like that, I just had to include it. And hey, are they really still casting this thing? It feels like von Trier has been saying he’ll shoot this film any-day-now for years. Oh, wait, that’s because he has. — Variety

Jabba the Hutt’s sexually ambiguous uncle.

There don’t seem to be any pictures of Ziro the Hutt online yet, so I am settling for the picture of Jabba above.

In any case, there are a few elements in Star Wars: The Clone Wars that have to be seen to be believed, but none, perhaps, more than this, as reported by the MTV Movies Blog:

Ok, let’s be straight for a second: Jabba’s uncle, Zero the Hutt, a new character introduced specifically for the upcoming animated series, is a gay stereotype that makes what Jar Jar Binks represented to the island of Jamaica look subtle by comparison. It’s not the look or design that pushes it over the top into stereotype, of course, but the voice (performed by Corey Burden), a lispy, high-pitched twang purposively reminiscent of Truman Capote.

So how did a character who wasn’t even supposed to speak English wind up sounding like that? Because George Lucas insisted on it, “Clone Wars” director Dave Filoni confessed.

“Zero, Jabba’s uncle, originally spoke in Hutt-ese, like Jabba and then he had a different sluggish voice just like Jabba, and then George one day was watching it and said ‘I want him to sound like Truman Capote.’ He actually said that and we were like ‘Wow!’” Filion revealed. “It’s a hybrid of it but the inspiration is definitely there on Capote. It’s one of those things that takes him from being an interesting character and I think really does put him over the top and does something. He’s a favorite among the crew here.” . . .

But just because Zero the Hutt is a stereotype, that doesn’t actually make him the first gay “Star Wars” character, Filion insisted. He’s actually not straight either, but biologically asexual. . . .

“He’s of questionable [sexuality] at least as a slug. They tell me that these slugs can be either male or female depending. That’s something I guess that slugs and snails do,” Filion said. “I wasn’t aware of that but I have continuity experts that tell me these things and I’m like. I guess Jabba is [his son’s] mother AND father from a certain point of view. It’s interesting.”

Incidentally — and this is not a comment on the new film in particular — but what is the point of a series devoted to the Clone Wars? What kind of stories could it possibly tell? As we know from the prequels, the good guys are all dupes being manipulated by the bad guys. And the bad guys are, well, the bad guys. I don’t see any potential for any truly happy endings here whatsoever.

This is especially true of the film opening this week — and again, I am not reviewing the movie itself here, just commenting on the premise that has already been revealed in trailers and so on.

The basic thrust of the story is that Jabba’s son — or offspring of questionable sexuality, to be consistent with what the director says above — has been kidnapped, and Anakin Skywalker needs to rescue him. So there are basically two possible outcomes, here:

One, Anakin fails, and Jabba’s son dies, and the Jedi and the Galactic Republic lose everything that they had hoped to gain by helping the Hutts, etc. Basically, a big, big downer of an ending — and that’s before we remember that virtually all of the good guys will die or worse in Revenge of the Sith (2005) anyway.

Or, two, Anakin succeeds, and Jabba’s son lives … only to see Anakin’s son Luke kill Jabba himself about a quarter-century later, during the events of Return of the Jedi (1983). So the poor slug’s daddy would be killed by his rescuer’s son, giving him conflicted emotions of gratitude and resentment, if not vengeance, towards the Skywalkers. And that would be just kind of twisted, really.

If George Lucas was still telling stories set during or after the original trilogy, there would at least be a sense of hope, a sense that the Rebellion really can defeat the Empire and rebuild the Republic. The future is open, and the potential for goodness is there. But by miring himself in the period covered by the prequels, Lucas has locked his franchise into a sort of grim, hopeless fatalism. Or so it seems to me, at any rate.

As for the all-important question of who was the first character of indeterminate gender in the Star Wars universe, I nominate Chef Gormaanda, the four-armed cooking-show hostess played by Harvey Korman in The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978):

I could also point to C-3PO, I guess, but I’d rather not perpetuate any stereotypes about the English, if that’s all right.