TOP TEN REASON TO GO TO FALWELL’S LIBERTY U NOW STUDENTS & PROFESSORS ARE ALL CARRYING CONCEALED WEAPONS
—————————————————————– (With apologies to David Letterman)
10. It’s fun Taking Bets on What Could Go Possibly Wrong When You’re on A Campus Full of Fully Armed Unstable Young White Men Who fit the Profile of Delusional Paranoid Religious Fundamentalists.
9. When The Next Unhinged Christian Shoots Up an Abortion Clinic He’ll be Fully Trained and be Able to Kill Lots More Than Just 3 People.
8. There’s Nothing Sexier Than a Jesus-Follower Carrying an M16 5.56mm caliber rifle Colt SP1 Converted to full auto by Earl’s Gun Shop with an Ares Defense shrike belt feed upper. Class III item– to Bible Class.
7. Campus Police Will Never Bother Disorderly Students Again
6. There Will be Free Pre-Law Seminars For All Students, Faculty and Board Members on How the School Will Defend Itself When Sued By Parents of Students Killed in Dorm Room Disputes
5. Bible Believers Won’t Have to Worry About Sex Anymore, That Bulge in His Pants is a G41 Gen4 practical/tactical .45 AUTO caliber
4. Rival Evangelical Colleges Like Gordon College Only Discriminate Against Gays, We Get to Shoot Them!
3. The School Can Now Send Out Fully Armed Missionaries Ready to Kill Anyone Who Refuses to Convert to the Love Of Jesus.
2. Shooting Muslims Sure Beats Studying World Religions!
…and…THE NUMBER ONE REASON to Go To Falwell’s Liberty U is…
1. Jerry Falwell Jr. Has Put Liberty U on the ISIS Map, More or Less Daring ISIS to Attack the Campus So Students Will Have An Exciting College Prayer-Filled Experience Guaranteed to Bring Them Real close to the Lord.
According to news reports in the Guardian newspaper and other sources, the president of Liberty University urged students, staff and faculty at the Christian school to carry concealed weapons on campus to counter any possible armed attack like the mass shooting in San Bernardino, California. That didn’t surprise me. His dad, Jerry Falwell Sr. once told me seriously that if he had a dog that did what “those homosexuals do, I’d shoot it.”
“Let’s teach them a lesson if they ever show up here,” President Jerry Falwell Jr told an estimated 10,000 students at the weekly convocation held on Friday in Lynchburg.The call-to-arms was met with rousing applause from students. “I’ve always thought if more good people had concealed carry permits, then we could end those Muslims before they walked in,” Falwell said.
In his call to arms, Falwell encouraged students to take a free class offered by campus police to obtain a permit to carry a concealed weapon. Falwell’s message is being heeded. He said more than 100 people had asked Liberty police about a free class to obtain a permit to carry a concealed weapon. More than 14,000 students are enrolled at Liberty.
Frank Schaeffer is a writer. His latest book —WHY I AM AN ATHEIST WHO BELIEVES IN GOD: How to give love, create beauty and find peace