It’s not often that you read a newspaper story and think of the afterlife. But The New York Times‘ story on the popularity of decorating gravesites put readers in that unusual, and welcome, frame of mind.
Reporter Patricia Leigh Brown did a fine job of showing that Americans in this life continue to love those in the next. As Brown wrote at the end of her fine story about the American way of death:
Bernadette Filosa, a 56-year-old retired court administrator, hauled a Christmas tree out of her Prius to her parents’ graves, though it appeared to exceed the regulation height of four feet. Her mother, Bernadetta, who lived to 91, never lost sight of own parents’ Italian traditions — they ran an Italian restaurant across from Desilu Studios.
Ms. Filosa said she had been baking her mother’s favorite chocolate cookie recipe, with raisins, jimmies, cloves and chocolate icing. They were cooling back home.
“I’m making your cookies, Ma,” she said out loud as she wrapped garlands around the tree from the Home Depot. “We’re still celebrating.”
So popular has the custom of decorating gravesites become that cemetery officials are regulating the practice:
At the three cemeteries run by the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of San Francisco, Christmas decorating is now officially limited to flowers placed in a maximum of two urns and potted evergreens no more than 12 inches high, with weekly sweeps on offending Santa Claus blankets, Styrofoam candy canes and the like.
This news hit close to home. My maternal grandparents — the late, great Michael and Sally Naughton — are both buried at Holy Cross cemetery in Colma. The next time I visit them, I will watch what I bring.
Brown’s actual thesis, however, left several questions unanswered. What is driving the apparent trend toward decorating gravestones? Are there any statistics about its popularity? To what extent are these gravesite decorators influenced by their religion’s view of heaven and hell? Is this a Catholic thing? A sacramental thing? Jewish? Evangelical? This whole subject raises a lot of questions.
Thinking critically about death and gravesites is difficult. But Brown did manage to convey that for an unspecified number of Americans, death is not the end.