Slut-Shaming

Slut-shaming. I’m sure you have heard this phrase before. Maybe you’ve been a participant of slut-shaming, or a victim of it. Urban dictionary defines slut-shaming as,

“An unfortunate phenomenon in which people degrade or mock a woman because she enjoys having sex, has sex a lot, or may even just be rumored to participate in sexual activity.”

I’m sure you remember a time in high school where you overheard a group of friends talking about a girl who slept with so and so, or how this one girl sleeps around.

Unfortunately now, it’s become a normal and much more public thing due to social media and technology. You overhear it at school so you text your friend, who texts their friend, who then group texts it and suddenly within 5 minutes the whole school knows who slept with who. Or, you post your opinion on facebook, or twitter, or instagram.

“She’s such a slut.”

“I can’t believe so and so did that.”

“I would never do that.”

“Oh my gosh. At least I’m not like her.”

And that’s just what girls are saying. Then you have the whole other side with guys who are getting saluted and high fived because of who they slept with, or how many times.

(Seems pretty contradictory to me. How is it that it’s okay for guys to sleep around, and yet when a girl does, she’s looked at as scum?)

The reality is, we’ve been slut-shaming since the beginning of time. People did it in bible times. Remember the adulteress in John 8:1-11? The scribes and pharisees- the religious people of the day– threw a woman before Jesus who had been caught in adultery. They threw her before the town, treating her like dirt and filth. Condemning her and dumping total humiliation on her, they ask Jesus what He would do to her, saying they should stone her. Jesus simply bends low, writes something on the sand and tells them that whoever is without sin can be the first to throw the first stone. And one by one they left, knowing that they had all sinned too.

We’re all in the same boat. Made in the image of God. Broken from sin. In need of a Savior.

Regardless of what your view on sex is, can we agree that slut-shaming needs to stop? Here and now? Shaming of any kind to anyone is never the way of Jesus. It’s never the right thing to do. When we shame someone, we degrade them, make them a commodity instead of a human being with a soul. We forget that they’re made in the image of God, wonderfully and fearfully made. We forget that they too have souls that love, and hurt and need to be protected. It’s never okay to put someone down, to gossip about them or slander them. No matter what they do or have done. Just because you’re not face to face with the person on your phone, doesn’t make it okay to then spout off whatever you think. Your words- whether said or written or typed- make a huge impact on someone else’s heart.

Can you imagine the shame and utter embarrassment that the woman felt in front of all those men and before Jesus? Caught in the act. Dirty. Ashamed. Worthless.

Jesus speaks truth and ushers in compassion and care for this woman. He doesn’t excuse her act or say it was right or okay at all, but he doesn’t put her down and call her slut. No, He knows she is a treasure and worth fighting for, and worth protecting. He looks her in the eyes, and speaks words of freedom and truth over her.

“Neither do I condemn you; go and from now on sin no more.”

What we say about other people is important. What has been said about you, that you then have believed and become? Good and bad.

I’ll admit I’ve never been a victim of slut-shaming, but when I was struggling with my eating disorder, I heaped enough shame on myself everyday. I knew what I was doing was wrong, and I felt embarrassed and insecure and broken. If someone had shamed me over my brokenness, I would have been utterly crushed. Shame doesn’t change people, but an invitation to a new life does. A new way of living. A life the way Jesus intended it.

When I moved to Maui, I was surrounded by people who loved me and wanted the best for me. They wanted me to live in freedom from my addiction and slavery. They wanted me to live in grace, and peace and joy. This is the way of Jesus. He doesn’t put us down, but instead He offers His strong hand, and lifts us up out of our brokenness and holds us close as we learn to walk in freedom. Jesus calls us to a bigger and better life, one of complete satisfaction in Him. One of complete security because He loves us with a love that is never ending.

We should be people that uplift, and honor and care for the hearts of others. Whoever that person is. Whether you know them or not. Whether they’re famous or popular or not. Whether it’s around other people, or when you’re alone on your phone. Do what’s right. Stand above the crowd.

Words matter. Make yours count today.