my heart spilled…

Disclaimer: This post was hard to write, and for some it will be hard to read. I prayed before I posted and I do believe that it is what the Lord would have me say. This is my blog, a place where I share my private thoughts and I invite you to remember before you comment that no one has forced you to read it.

She was eighteen years old and she had never been in love with anyone she could touch before. I mean, she had been in love with Jesus since she was little, but this was different, touchable love.
In her eyes he was perfect. He loved the Lord, not to mention he was pretty darn cute. He went to church with her and joined her on silly errands and at family dinners. He made her giggle by saying things that only she found funny. He made her heart flutter when he swept that one always-stray piece of hair out of her eyes.

They were the “perfect couple.” They were desperately in love; one lit up as the other entered the room. They could see their beautiful future together. After high school, they would go together to college, get married, work a bit, settle down and have children with his eyes and her big smile. They would grow old together, laughing at secrets and kissing each other goodnight.

And then God asked her to move to Uganda. At first it was just going to be a year. They could do a year. She would come back and they could still go to college together and all their dreams would still come true. When the Lord asked her to adopt her first children, it became a bit more complicated. She rationalized that her youngest was 7, so in 11 years, she could move back home and be with him. But her children kept getting younger and His call kept getting stronger. She would go back in 13 years, in 17 years, in 20 years. Finally she came to terms with the fact that God was just asking her to STAY. And that when He said He wanted ALL of her, He meant all. She would live in Uganda. But she held on to her love because remaining comfortable was so much easier than dealing with the hurt and the emptiness would be.

Her eyes were opened and her life was changed. She couldn’t pretend to be the same person. She couldn’t sit still in his would anymore, it made her head spin and her heart ache. And still she held on because she didn’t love him any less. She knew God could move mountains and she prayed He could change his heart. After all, such a love must have been God orchestrated.
He made her feel beautiful as she walked through life as a single mom covered in dust and spit up. He appreciated her even when everyone else forgot to say thank you. He believed in her when the rest of the world said raising eighty thousand dollars or adopting ten children was silly. Even from the other side of the world, he cheered her on and he picked her up when she just didn’t feel strong enough. His voice on the other end of the phone turned a rough day right around.

They were moving in opposite directions. They both new it, but they both refused to let go.
So she asked God for a very specific sign. For something that she thought very unlikely if not absolutely impossible. And then something devastating happened. God gave her the sign that she asked for. So she kissed him goodbye and drove away and cried so hard that she doubted she would ever breathe again. She tried not to wonder if anyone would ever love her like that again or how she would do this all alone.

And that’s when He reminded her that she wasn’t. That HE would make her feel beautiful as a single mom covered in dust and spit up. That He appreciated her even when everyone else forgot to say thank you. That He believed in her when the rest of the world thought everything she did was crazy. That He would cheer her on and pick her up when she just didn’t feel strong enough. That His voice whispering in her ear would turn those rough days right around. That He would ALWAYS be faithful. That His love would be unconditional. That He, her ONE TRUE LOVE would never leave or forsake her and would give her heart’s desires. That He would make all things new, ever her shattered heart.

* * *

A few days ago an American woman who had spent about three days of her life in a third world country looked at me and said, “I would SO love to do what you do. I would do it in a heartbeat. Oh, I would take 14 kids in a second!” It is a good thing that I was having a graceful day, because I said, “Aw that’s nice.” But my not so graceful heart was angry. And the not so graceful voice in my head wanted to say to her, “Ok then, do it. I can have you 14 orphaned, abandoned, uncared for children tomorrow. So here is what you have to do: Quit school. Quit your job. Sell your stuff. Disobey and disappoint your parents. Break your little brother’s heart. Lose all but about a handful of friends because the rest of them think you have gone off the deep end. Break up with the love of your life. Move to a country where you know one person and none of the language. And when you are finished, I will be here waiting with your 14 children!” I wanted to ask her what was stopping her, knowing that the answer would be her comfort. I wanted to look at her and tell her that my life was full and joyful and WONDERFUL, but I also wanted to tell her to COUNT THE COST. Because my life IS full and joyful and wonderful, but it is NOT easy. My life is NOT glamorous. I do not expect it to be. I do not think that anything about carrying a cross was easy or glamorous either.

Which brings me to my point. I am not actually that angry about what that woman said, it was just an offhanded comment. But it got me to thinking… How many times to we grieve our sweet Savior’s heart because we refuse to COUNT THE COST? How many times do we choose comfort instead of the cross?

In my NIV Bible, the header above Luke 9:57-62 says, “The Cost of Following Jesus.” Here it is, plain and simple, laid out for us by the Lord. “As they were walking along the road, a man said to Jesus, “I will follow you wherever you go.” Jesus replied, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay His head.” He said to another man, “Follow me.” But the man replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my Father.” Jesus said to Him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Still another said, “I will follow you Lord, but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.” Jesus replied, “No one who puts His hand to the plow and looks back will be fit to enter the Kingdom of God.” THIS IS SERIOUS STUFF. A little later in Luke 14:25, “The Cost of Being a Disciple,” Jesus tells the crowds gathered around Him, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters – yes even his own life – he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry His cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? For if he lays the foundation and is not able to complete it; everyone who sees it will ridicule him saying, ‘This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.’ Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first consider if he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? If he is not able he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and ask for terms of peace. In the same way any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.

In Luke, in the days of Jesus, He expected EVERYTHING of his disciples. Do we believe that He requires the same today? We sure don’t act like it. If you ever read my blog or have heard me speak then you have heard me reference Matthew 25, the parable of the sheep and the goats. Jesus basically looks straight at the crowd and tells them that when He comes back, those who have seen the needy and met their needs will come with Him to heaven. He also says that those who have seen the needy and done nothing will be sent away to “eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.” Right, hell. This is heavy, I know, but I believe that it is TRUE. I believe that the words of Jesus are timeless and therefore still apply to anyone desiring to be His follower today. (Oh, and in case you think you can get away with saying that you have not seen Jesus naked or hungry or thirsty or in need and therefore you are off the hook, let me help you. 30,000 children will die today because of hunger or preventable disease. There. Now you know. Now you are responsible too.) Faith without good deads is DEAD, my friends. Yes, I believe fully in salvation by His grace alone. I do not believe that anything we do or work for will save us. I also believe that if we are indeed saved, meaning that He lives inside of us, we will desire to do what is pleasing to Him. That if we really love Him with all our hearts and all our strength, NOTHING will feel like sacrifice in light of the promise that one day we will get to be with Him forever. Automatically, we will help those in need, we will give our all, we will love our neighbor as our self, because our heart is aligned with His. But so many don’t. This then begs the question: If we are not walking in the words of Jesus, do we truly know Him? Do we really know and believe in the Jesus of the Bible. Because if we do, if we believe what He says is true, our lives will be powerfully, unimaginable, radically different than the lives of those around us. He requires EVERYTHING.

I wonder today if I had been one of the people listening to Jesus as He spoke in Luke 9 and 14, if Jesus would have convinced me to follow Him or if I would have walked away. I believe I would have really really wanted to say goodbye to my family. I wonder about “Christians” today. We wear Jesus on our T-shirts, we wear His cross around our neck and a bumper sticker with His name on it on our car. Have we just laid the foundation without being able to build the building? Does Jesus feel like I did when a woman I didn’t know told me she would love to do what I do but I knew that she never would? Do we claim the precious name of Jesus Christ without counting the cost? Without being willing to REALLY give it all? And does Jesus, in His infinite grace, look at us and say, “Aw, that’s nice,” but really with the furry that he flipped over the tables in the temple want to spit our lukewarm selves out of His mouth?

This is heavy on my heart. I have spent hours typing it to get the words out right and still I feel like I am rambling. If you would like more references on God’s heart for the poor, try Isaiah 56-58, Proverbs 14:31, 21:13, 28:27, Matthew 19:16- 30, Luke 6:20-25, 18:18, James 5:1… Please feel free to add more in your comments! If we believe that these words are true, the way we are living is not tolerable. How can we live in willful disobedience and claim to know Jesus Christ?

I do not claim to have the answers. I do not claim to be doing it right. I do claim to believe that the words of Jesus are absolutely true and apply to me, right now today. I want to give EVERYTHING, no matter the cost. NO MATTER THE COST. Because I believe that nothing is sacrifice in light of eternity with Christ.

Please take an hour of your time to listen to this sermon my David Platt of Birmingham, Alabama. I pray that it would drastically change your life: www.brookhills.org/media/series/radical

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00799374786076387438 We Are Family

    WONDERFUL! You are so right, "we" have no idea what following Jesus has cost you. Beautifully written. I can truly feel your heart. Blessings!!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04297476790722809266 Lexi

    dear Katie,I'm 15 years old I've been reading your blog for a while. my heart breaks for you right now. It must be really hard to say goodbye to someone you love that deeply, but I know God's love shines through the darkness that seems to overcome our hope. My sister who we are adopting from Ethiopia is coming home tomorrow. I have a heart for people in Africa and am always drawn to your posts. Your girls are beautiful and so special.Please know that I am praying for you.Blessings,Lexi

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05213658569291328042 The Fries Family

    your words are an encouragement to me Katie! Thank you for being open, honest and willing to say what needs to be said. I continue to pray for you and the ministry in Uganda that you have so faithfully begun.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14999633786013756069 Leah M.

    Katie,I can honestly say that I beginning to realize this. I am getting on a plane tomorrow morning to go to Haiti to work with orphans. I don't know when I am coming back. I can honestly say with you that I have quit my life. And it has been harder than I ever imagined (and I haven't even gone yet). But Jesus is so SO worth it.Thank you so much for being an inspiration to me, and being a true example that all things are possible with God.Love,Leah

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14415989751049390467 Victoria Searer

    All I can say is I've been shaken, I'm typing to you with tears in my eyes. You have an amazing ability to put your thoughts into words. May God bless you & keep you close! Much Love, Victoria from Texas

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13893759255383091358 Emily

    Sweet Katie,Thank you so much for encouraging the lukewarm people of the world. God definitely gave you the power of words…and even though you felt like you were rambling His heart is shown through this post. Lifting you up.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06826190879329559194 Erin

    thank you

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02430259618392559298 A Heart after His

    wow… i can tell you that God has been convicting me of this for awhile. I can see your heart. James 1:27

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00427650732649868574 Sara Campbell

    Katie, the cost is high, and you are right, it must be counted first. This is my 13th year overseas. It has been awful and wonderful all at the same time. Thank you for sharing your heartbeat. Press on, dear sister. I know you know how many times/fold we will be rewarded in heaven. I claim that one.

  • Jessica

    Dear Katie, This blog really touched me. Thank you so much for being so honest. Through your honesty, you shed light to the cross Christ wants us to bear. I want you to know, though we may never meet, That I love you and your children. I know you are not looking for thanks, but thank you. I wish you knew how much your blog has meant to me, personally. This post presents the truth. The truth is hard to swallow, but we need it. You are in my prayers,always.In Love of Him,Jessica Schachle

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08679258525327102196 Katie

    You took away the part at the bottom. That was what got me the most. I am responsible. Me, a 19 year old college student. I feel very confused and I don't know how I can help. I know I can pray for you. Love, Another Katie from Texas

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03943203532272572169 Wendybob

    Katie, you are an amazing woman of God. I know how hard it is to let go of the person you truly truly love, because I had to do the same thing, a long time ago, albeit for MUCH different reasons. If I'd listened to God's directions back then things might have turned out so much differently. Not long after that God gave me the most wonderful man and we've been married for 10 years. (Please don't think I'm advising you that someone else will come along! That's a callous approach and I've been on the receiving end of that, too. I'm just saying that I admire you so much for following God's leading even though I understand the pain it causes the flesh.)I pray every day for God to bless my husband and I with a child, and thus far it's not happened for us…but to think of doing what you do daily for your beautiful children truly humbles me. There's no doubt that you are walking God's path for you because no person seeking personal glory could have that kind of strength.God Bless you, Katie, and your children as well. And the monkey!

  • Patricia

    Thank you for this post. May all who read it receive it in their hearts.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03151899060798200040 adoptingmama

    Praying as I write…wowThank you so much for you heart! I know that God is delighting in the way you show HIS love.May God bless you as you continue to follow HIS way.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16638967563027741043 Andrea

    Thank you for sharing this. :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02683837109541983471 Jessica K.

    I just had a breakup as well. We love eachother dearly, still do and always will but we have different plans. I want to take in special needs kids one day. I want to love on many kids, want to give my everything. I know in a relationship you have to make sacrifices, but Heavenly Father told me, that this wasnt a sacrifice I was supposed to make. I wasnt supposed to quit dreaming of the orphans with special needs that I have been told to take in by Him. So breaking up was the only way to go. Now I have a new life right in front of me. Right now it's like a white piece of paper but I am going to fill it with many handprints, tears, spit up, dirt etc. I look up to you. I really do. I dont know how you find the strength. When I was 16 all I ever wanted to do was volunteer in an AIDS orphanage in Africa. I still would love to go to Africa and work there and help but I dont know how. I hav eno idea how to get there, how to find a place to stay and who to help. Maybe I am just scared and not brave enough. I wish I was. I would love to come by your house and feel the love you have for your kids. You sure are a hero. "He who saves asingle life, saves the entire world." (Talmud) You are saving so many lives with the work you are doing, it's just amazing.I am sending you and your kids snowy love from Germany. How I wish I could pack my bags and come by and help you.

  • Anonymous

    I am halfway around the world in a meeting…this is powerful.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03520696226301288779 Aaron and Erica

    Katie…our Bible study leader actually mentioned David Platt today. Obviously there is something I need to hear that he has to say…I look forward to listening to this link tonight. I want you to know that you are an encouragement to me. I want to be radically different for Him! Thank you for sharing and for continuing to care for "the least of these".

  • http://www.krististephens.com Kristi Stephens

    The cost is high, indeed.But we would be more comfortable with Jesus if He wasn't so demanding, wouldn't we? If He just let us be comfortable?May God forgive us for our half-hearted, non-committal, lukewarm devotion. If we can call it "devotion" at all.Thank you for your words – strong but true. And thank you for your testimony of a life well lived.

  • Anonymous

    Hello Katie,I "accidentally" stumbled upon your blog a couple of months ago. I've never met you…yet, God's using you to encourage and speak to me. That sounds cheesy…but I wish that I could explain. Anyway, Thank you for all that you are doing for the Lord. My family prays for you regularly. My 3 yr old prays every night for "all Katie's kids in Africa." She also told her Sunday School teacher that she wants to be a momma and have lots of babies like Miss Katie. May God strengthen you, guide you and smile upon you.

  • Anonymous

    Wow. You are truly an inspiration to all of us "Christians." To give up EVERYTHING is truly an act of some kind of ridiculous faith. Thanks for setting a radical example for all us. Whether we do something similar to what you're doing or stay in the states and do something completely different, your words are definitely relatable and taken to heart.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17033580568798422970 Kat

    Thank you for sharing Katie. Your love for the Lord continues to grow and challenge me. You are right. God wants everything.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07632168174118830525 Tonya

    Katie, I just right this moment posted to my blog.. and at the end noted how God had something so massive on my heart but I didn't quite have the words. And then your post. You see I WANT TO GO, I am ready to go.. I could care less about comfort. I live in an 800 sq ft box and want nothing more than to resign in my job as the Director of HR. And in October the Lord said GO. He didnt say where or when. So I had it all planned out- my lease was up March 1st and I would save $500 a month until then, sell my stuff, resign and GO. And then the Lord asked me to sew the $500 a month. BUT LORD, if I do that I can't make it happen. "I will" He says… So along comes plan number 2. I will move into a 400 sq ft box on March 1st, get rid of my vehicle and prepare to GO. Then came Sisay and her sibs in Ethiopia. Orpahns with names and faces; an immediate need. God says to me Thurs morning last week, would YOU be willing to forego GOING to bring them home? The answer is yes. Ouch Lord, I want to go, but yes Lord if that is your desire of me than YES! I know that obeying is the only way to His Will and the only way to true happiness. I just want to say that for some, some like me, the words of David Platt and the works of Katie Davis have beautifully broken us into action. And while there are far too many that sit in their comfort, there is a movement of followers who have been forever changed by your willingness to follow God to Uganda and others willingness to speak the truth into the hearts of believers about what it truly means to follow Christ. My heart desires to GO to the nations somewhere among the orphans and the least of these. But if God is holding me and has another assignment than I obey. Because I love him first.Just know, there are some who say they want to be where you are and it is not comfort holding, it is the Lord. I think God uses the very things we desire to test us in our faith… are we looking to him for comfort, like you mentioned, or are the desires of hearts bigger than our desire for him, the sovereign God. And even though our desires line up with his word, his commands and his ways, they themselves can never be bigger than our desire for him first. And I think he tests us with those very things to remind us and show himself yet again in our lives.Praying for you always, sister.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17033580568798422970 Kat

    Thank you for sharing Katie. Your love for the Lord continues to grow and challenge me. You are right, God wants everything.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15092529758375734896 Mark and Sarah

    To God be all the glory–He certainly lives in and through you. Thank you for sharing your sacrifices and your losses with us–you've got guts, girl!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16773516232249222636 Becky Burk

    Katie,I LOVE reading your posts and seeing your pictures of your beautiful family. I'm 29 and the idea of doing what you have done is truly daunting and so inspiring. I think of the sacrifices that I have made in my life as an adoptive mother with a heart for Africa and know that it pales in comparison to what you have done as a warrior of Christ. You are my Joan of Arc. I can't tell you enough how much I love and support you all the way in Texas :) Know that you are loved and prayed for and appreciated greatly. I don't think you have any idea of how many people your life and actions impact around the world. I know you don't do what you do for any self gratification or praise and I really have no words but I just wanted to say… THANK YOU!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13024775782348384327 About Me

    You dont know me… just found your blog… I'm sorry the pain you have gone through…. but the words you have wrote are for me. Thank you for being vulnerable, and obedient- as God those words to deal with my heart.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18234324593027826036 Sandee

    Katie….Wow! I have followed your blog for a short while now. I love your heart for God acted out.What you wrote today is both heart-wrenching, confirming and hard. {in a good way, hard}As a single mother of 3, soon 4, I connect with much of what you are saying and I too ponder the unanswered questions….what path would God have ME take? Are we all to go to a third-world country? What is the future plan, individualized beautiful bounderies His lot has thrown for each of us? And how do we find it.I know it is not 'playing American church'. I do believe it is lived out in many many ways.But I want to ask the hard questions…and listen until I hear his answer. Two things I read this morning rocked my heart,…this was one, and the other was here: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2009/02/soaking-it-up-with-towel-with-which-she.htmlBlessings. thank you for being vulnerable, transparent and speaking the hard truth!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04311494856848392220 Mrs. Hewett

    Katie,Thank you for sharing this. I have been so encouraged by you through your blog. My daughter loves the photo of your with your children. She tells me all the time that she wants to have 10 children – she's 5 now. Until she grows up and God blesses her with little ones, we continue to be inspired by you and your family, and keep you constantly in our prayers.May God bless you abundantly, Karen H.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03171850628996346597 Meredith Benton

    Amen.. Amen.. Amen!! I'm counting the cost… even now. He is calling, and people are responding. You're giving people like me the courage to say "YES" to giving up EVERYTHING. Jesus is using your story to call others out Katie! Thank you! Be blessed sweet girl!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08881500017562498377 Beautiful Mess

    Precious! Glorious! Thank you for the GUT CHECK!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01003195142292172745 Gretchen Magruder

    what a beautifully painful and wonderful post. I pray every 18-22 year old I work with will count the cost.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04478957553698231529 Taylor

    Katie, I appreciate this so much! I wrote something very similar to this on my blog (it was a little shorter though). It is the truth and it should scare us. If we claim to be followers of Christ and are not doing his work, it means nothing.Thank you for sharing your heart!James 2:14-191 John 3:16-18

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01233594585633157052 Kristi

    Katie, I have never met you and yet I feel that I know you now after reading this post written straight from your heart. God bless you for finding the courage to write it.And if you have any spare moments, please agree with me in prayer as my husband and I search for what God calls us to. We believe it has something to do with orphan relief somewhere overseas, but haven't put our finger on it yet. Next week we leave to bring home our third child from China, and as excited as we are about that, we know that there is more…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02076134921851142411 Katie

    thanks for your vulnerability in sharing your heart. i've also learned from experience the painful lesson that we need Him alone more than any man. however, know that i have been praying for you the past few weeks – that God would provide a godly like-minded husband for you to partner with!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00984946345145279521 Erica

    Katie girl you always challenge me. You rock me to my very core and today its just harder because I've been in Ethiopia and I'm still wrestling with what I saw a week ago despite the fact I've been there three times. It gets harder and harder to leave. My husband and I have just recently started listening to David Platt. Amazing and challenging man of God. Thank you for wrecking me yet again for the things that wreck my Saviors heart.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02856786692018735790 Kendy Jo

    AMEN,Katie!!I wish that my faith could be so much more stronger than it is right now.May God Bless you and your life 10 times what you do for others.Love in Christ,Kendy Jo

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00726415110309137301 Shauna

    Awesome Katie! Thanks for sharing!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13031196339428485824 Joy

    I think you have an amazing heart. Bless you, sweet Katie.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10074967350005820237 Ed Lebert

    YES!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13251699587621835032 Jim and April

    Katie! Where do I start and I am sure I will fail at what I want to say…THANK YOU. Thank you for being someone to come right out and say the things that more and more of us need to! Thank you for letting Jesus use you to teach, grow, break and challenge me! I am sorry for the end of your relationship with your boyfriend…again through this you display to all how you truly love Christ and want what He wants more than ANYTHING and more than even what you want. You can tell by your posts the love you and him share but what is more amazing is your love for Christ! Oh how He is and how He will use you Katie because of Your heart!God is doing a work in me and slowly and slowly I can see it and I get sad realizing all the years I wasted on ME or my selfish wants and I am praying God would help my heart to break more and more everyday for what breaks His and that I would do or go wherever or whatever He asked me to. I think Him calling my husband and I to adopt our first child from Uganda is just the first step! Oh to be where you are in your faith/willingness/surrender…i am not there yet and only God knows if I will ever get there but my heart wants to be there…and I know I could NEVER get to where I have even gotten and I will never get any further without my Savior, my God leading me because I am awful, I am nothing on my own and any good in me is from Him!Katie…keep pressing on…friend I feel like I know you even though we have never met. Thanks for being Jesus’ hands and feet. Thanks for showing me and the world that its ok to live radically and have 14 children and live single in another country…I know that you probably go through so many days where you just need a hug or a friend or someone to lean on…I’m sure there are days when your exhausted and fatigued and on those days friend…please know that we all love you, are praying for you and my friend if books of the bible were still being written I would guess you would be in them! :0) God is doing MIGHTY things in you Katie and in us…the way He is working on my heart concerning these things and the way I see Him doing the same in others…I have a feeling He is going to use us all for His kingdom in mighty ways! If I ever get a chance to meet you while we are over in Uganda getting our daughter, I would just like to give you a big hug and sing some songs of worship to our Savior together and say thank you! Until then, keep praising, keep singing, keep loving and keep looking up! Love, april

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13448340679335145960 Michelle

    *sigh.. I have such feeble words.. but much love for you my sister. We have never met but in reading your blog I have seen Jesus at every turn. I know that what He has asked of you many of us would run from, but in His strength you have run to it.. And I pray that the God of all comfort will restore your heart, and give you great assurance in His faithfulness right now…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04069512267861675016 A Cup of Cold Water

    katie, about the time we "found" you, we also "found" this exact same sermon series. we are never the same. thank you for stirring the fire in us and so many others. praying for you and your broken heart. my heart breaks for you because i know how hard this must be.erika

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05752204324416085118 Karl and Sadie

    Your personal sacrifices are humbling. You are amazing!

  • http://thereisnogray.wordpress.com/ thereisnogray

    I have no words. I wanted you to know that I read your post as if somehow that would be of comfort to you. Maybe it is, but I doubt it. Thank you for your brutal honesty. Thank you for pouring your heart out.God continues to poke and push and sometimes drag many of us along in his plan for us. Yet we resist. We look at the life we have built for ourselves and at the comfort it brings and we know that surrender, while appealing in the heart of the moment, is so scary it sends us running for cover. And there we live uncomfortable amongst our 'stuff', occasionally peeking over the edge to see if it's ok to jump in like somehow this time will be less frigntening. The list of fears is HUGE. The potential for pain or rejection. Wondering how others will 'see' us. Wondering if God will really come through. Discomfort, fatigue, hunger, poverty, the list goes on and on. I know God is bigger than all of it, but my heart forgets and it betrays me and it betrays Him.May God continue to bless you, Katie. We continue to pray for you. Please pray that God will bring each of us to that point of Surrender so He can use us to change the world. Jeff

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05145248276487668178 RACHEL

    thank you katie. you are right. and yet my heart still gets so confused. how do we leave all for the sake of christ when we have to get our husbands to agree with us — good, godly husbands who maybe simply believe a different vision of what God is calling us to? not that you really have to answer that… i just so badly want to figure out how to LAY IT ALL DOWN. as always, your heart always helps me see God's heart a little more clearly

  • Lisa G.

    Katie…you are truly an inspiration! Total surrender to Christ. Wow! I thank you for sharing this, and I will pass your blog along to my life groups at church. We are doing mission work at home, and I am a host site director at our church for Angel Food Ministries, but I wonder if there is more He is calling me to do. For now I will pray, and ask Him to show me the way… maybe I will be called to sacrifice, and I only hope I can be as obedient as you! Much love to you and all of yours from Florida! Lisa G.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14043677672931768639 Tammy On the Go

    my dear friend…I am sitting here crying. I grew up on the mission field and know this heart of yours that cries out, all too well.I am serving here in my own city, and yesterday I was asking God…its this worth it, are we making a difference?… and of course my heart immediately heard him say "Yes". but only when it's done in his own power.I am a stay at home mom, fullfilling my highest calling of all, but also serving whereever God would use me. I follow your blog to remind myself of the missionaries heart.thank you for sharing it so well today.if you get any negative feed back, I urge you to not answer it, but to simply leave it at the cross…I have a deep feeling that you will not.my sister you are loved.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03662699749725327373 Nadia

    challenging post…causing reflection for sure. You are always so inspiring with the way you are living your life. Thanks for setting a good example for us to follow, and following the Lord in your own life.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11389523274541717626 Morgan

    Hey Katie, I sent a letter to you through a family friend that visited at the beginning of the year. I know how crazy life must get for you and taking five minutes to open and read a letter is five less minutes you have to love on your sweet girls. So if it got lost in the shuffle I completely understand. After reading your last post about how Christ didn't call us to be comfortable or to have all the things we think make us happy, I saw a lot of similarities to my letter and my heart. Thank you so much for speaking truth and not shying around the fact that our world is letting precious children die without food because they are continually striving for the next best material thing to bring them happiness, or so they think. I am honored to read about your life.Love, Morgan Werk

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04425427355331709881 Jes and Holly

    Thank you for being bold and speaking truth. Every command from God is an opportunity for God to fill us with His grace to be obedient. My husband and I pray for you often and thank God for the way your life challenges us to be radically devoted to our Savior.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12628980571629411105 the Skips

    Katie, thank you so much for boldly continuing to point us to Jesus. You have no idea how many people Jesus touches through your life and your words. To God be the glory.

  • Anonymous

    You don't know me. We have never met. I ran across your blog a few months ago from somewhere, really can't remember now. The reason so many may not like this post is because it is the real deal. It is honest and true. We are not that much different than those during Jesus' time. We are very uncomfortable with the truth, something Jesus also spoke to people. He cut through the stuff, the politeness, the society's way of doing things, the junk we cover ourselves with and spoke the cold, honest truth.One line that I will ponder, preach on, and start putting into practice more in my own life — "I wanted to ask her what was stopping her, knowing that the answer would be her comfort."That more than anything — more than money or time or lack of compassion — stops us all. If we are being honest with ourselves.GraceTraveler

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06005663095818742053 Sheryl

    your heart spilled and i love it! here's the thing…i don't want to read this and think "oh that's convicting", i want to be different! i keep saying that. makes me wonder if i am full of a lot of good intentions but not willing to fully follow GOD.you amaze me. your love for the LORD amazes me. you inspire and push us. keep spilling your heart, it's a beautiful thing.loving you from michigan.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05901505336716480659 Lydia Tarr

    Katie, I am 45yo and a mom to 7 (4 adopted) and I want to be you when I grow up. God shines through you – your life. I want that for myself and for my children. I know that in Heaven you will have many crowns….and God will bless you richly for all that you gave up here on earth. Thank you for taking time out of your life to post and minister to others half way around the world. I will keep you, your daughters, your mission in my prayers. God bless you for doing what too many are unwilling. My prayer is that my children will love and serve God with the same kind of heart that you have.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07740992559984877793 The Queen of Chaos

    I stop by when I truly have time to read and take in all you share. Your writing and your faith are amazing. I keep you in my prayers.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02818524315347753639 Sirica

    Thank you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00306049499606669381 drea

    Katie…thank you for speaking truthfully..that is all you can do, because the Jesus of the bible says exactly what you have. I did spend two weeks in Africa just a few days ago, and you are right, it would come with a cost…only two weeks came with a cost and almost a life. My heart hurts with yours, I share your greif..I praise the Lord that you are willing to do anything and trust that our Father is able to far more than we can ask or imagine..Prasie the Lord that you are a voice to hundreds. Love you sweet friend, always praying for you too.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02584817943333070885 Becky Ryder

    Right on:) My pastor has been speaking of this alot recently. Doing someting uncomfortable, giving up the pleasures, and going in the name of Jesus is hard but the rewards in Him are unmeasureable.I'm reminded of times when I've been told that adopting older children is not a good idea because they are already molded with bad behaviors and tragedy. But I also am confident in the fact that our God is bigger than anything the world has to offer. Adopting in Uganda for us was very difficult, trials and emotional stress but the laughs we get from our son (presently wearing my shoes 12 sizes too big) is priceless.God bless you and your sweet children! Prayers from GA from a family of 5 and growing!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07649428714632750764 Dandelion Momma

    I've been wanting to tell you something. My husband and I have been reading your blog for some time now and several weeks ago, amazed again at another post, he asked me how you could be so fearless. I told him that infact, you were quite the opposite of fearless, but that you feared the Lord instead of man. That you were afraid not to obey God and that we should be too. I hope that I represented you correctly, but the wonderful conclusion is that my husband was baptized two weeks ago and your blog played a big part in that. Thank you for continuing to hold us accountable.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16201485808523800737 Renee Little

    What a beautiful heart you have. Thanks for being real and honest, it is more that just encouraging. In everyone's journey there are things other people do not understand…I will never understand the depth of your day to day…but I do understand the depth of your love for Christ…and I am grateful that as followers of Christ we can always come together there.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08911806171753682549 Jenn in GA

    i'm reading richard stearns' book, the hole in our gospel, and wrestling with the COST of this knowledge and what i'm supposed to DO with what i am now responsible for. thanks for being truthful. always. don't ever apologize for that. i had the same choice you did 20 years ago, but i chose differently, and i've wondered ever since if i'm not fit for service in the kingdom as a result. you will never have to wonder.it took great courage and great trust to ask for the sign and then to act when you got it. i believe that will be rewarded.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14559175677390596901 Cari

    Katie,I haven't listened to the sermon you linked yet, but I plan to. Your post inspired/challenged me so much that I did a post on my blog about you and "my heart spilled…" post. I hope you don't mind. I love reading your blog. You challenged me so much to surrender all to Jesus on a daily basis.~ Cari Bacon

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12114223431580415336 Naomi

    Katie,Thank you for speaking such truth into our hearts! I have to be honest, I know nothing of the sacrifices you have made and what it is like to do all that you do. It is evident that the Lord has called you and you are right to say that it is not glamorous nor easy! He HAS called you, He HAS equipped you…. ALL of us reading would agree but although we see little glimpses of your life and the genuineness of your faith, we do not really know what it is like to be there serving in Uganda. We all love you dearly and admire what God does through you and I am sure there are many who look on and hope to do the same wonderful things you are doing for Jesus. But like you said, we all must count the cost and lay EVERYTHING down. And this is where the true test comes. You are a blessing to us because your testimony gives God the glory and shows how it is possible to serve Jesus with your whole heart and to leave families and lands and brothers and sisters for His name. It is possible for us all to live as Jesus wants us to if we surrender our will daily. You know of Christ's love so much more intimately than many of us and you are acquainted with His sorrows every day. But this is because you have chosen to lay down your life. You are His hands and feet and God will reward you abundantly in Heaven (even though I know you are not seeking such rewards).I am praying about a trip there this summer and hope to meet you and the girls and serve in any way. I may have been serving the Lord in ministry for many years, but I know that God wants so much more of my heart and I want so much more of His!Thank you for being so vulnerable and spilling out your heart to us. I will continue to pray for you.Blessings from a sister in the Lord in England :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13251699587621835032 Jim and April

    hey..quick question…i saw there are 8 hourish long messages on that sermon series…i don't mind listening to all but was wondering if there was a particular one in mind you wanted us to listen to?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15291700475756292538 saras

    You don't know me! :) In fact, I have no idea how I even stumbled onto your blog. I just want to say that what you have written has inspired me, and you have given me much to think about.Some of us, were in your shoes, only we didn't listen to God. We got married to a great Christian man, we had great children and then we realized that maybe growing up in church and attending church isn't enough for you anymore. And so here you sit, struggling at the age of almost 35… SCARY!…and wondering how do you exist in the world you have chosen for yourself. And how do you exist in a place where you can follow God to such a degree that you are willing to give up everything!That's my struggle! How do I give up everything to follow God and still be mom to my kids and a wife to a husband who himself is following God's call on his life. Where does that leave me and my life? I wish when I was your age, somebody would have told me or encouraged me to dream the impossible, give up everything and follow God!I look forward to seeing what else God will do with you and your children in the days and years ahead. Thank you for sharing from your heart, it has touched mine!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12621469526483234596 Rebecca

    Amen and God bless you!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06792502725656439701 Allison

    kate, you truly have a gift and an amazing heart. i appreciate your honesty and your conviction! your story is amazing and i look forward to reading your posts. i love your positive outlook and the unfathomable courage you have to be a mother of 14 at such a young age without the comforts of home. you and your family are in my prayers!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17361521090616338263 Bill and Christina

    Thank you for your post. So true the words you have spoken.

  • Anonymous

    you are an amazing girl, just amazing. may the lord bless you a thousand times over.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00157162145721730955 wendyworn

    Thank you sister. You are right in everything you have said. Very few people are willing to give up everything to follow the Lord where ever He leads. If anyone who reads this objects to the harshness, it is because your words convict them because it is the truth, people want to claim the name but not obey. God bless you abundantly

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09341478847769765450 Kat

    So raw, so real, and so very true…giving up everything for Christ is not always easy, but the rewards go beyond our lifetimes…..Amen is the only thing that I can think to say.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04672700321346330620 nmetzler

    My life looks so different than yours but I feel as if I understand every word that you have written. Know that I am praying for you. Not just, "say a prayer here or there" but down on my knees- seeking the face of our Redeemer, for you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18319163526335686422 The Boyds

    Dear sweet Katie,I wish that I had words to express all that this post evoked in me. Because my words wouldn't come close, let me just say thank you. You are doing a good work, & not all are deaf to your godly admonitions. My husband & I hear you, as do many others. There are some, hopefully many, who hear this Word & follow it with action. Thank you for sharing God's Word with us, undiluted & straightforward. You are always in our thoughts & prayers. We've never met you, but we love you dearly as our sister in Christ.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08562044773061891423 A.S.H.

    …Ps. 146:9, Is. 1:17, Deut. 10:18-19…and on and on and on…Thank you for spilling your heart. I do think Jesus is grieved by our failure to take hold of our God-given destinies. And I say it that way because I believe God has clearly laid out a CALLING, a DESTINY for us all. And just as He said "relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place…" if Esther chose not to take hold of HER destiny, I do believe that God's purpose and plan will still be carried out if we choose not to be a part of it…BUT WE WILL MISS OUT. Oh, will we miss out. I humbly pray for us all that we will not be one who "misses" our unique calling…How can we miss it? …"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it'" (Is. 30:21) For crying out loud! We have a voice IN OUR EAR (IN GOD'S WORD!) saying…"CARE FOR THE OPPRESSED." That is a call none of us can claim to be ignorant of. Thank you for your bold witness.Seeking His voice with you TODAY–NOT TOMORROW.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15831515908096557633 Chelle

    You are an amazing young woman serving an even more amazing God. I, along with several of my friends, follow your blog. We live in middle TN. You are inspiring to us. We often need a reality check. I can't imagine how hard it is being away from your friends and family in the States. I know your work there is rewarding but that doesn't make it easy. You are and will continue to be in our prayers.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17946903135252874458 Are These Kids All Yours?

    You are 100% correct! I don't know how you do it. No idea….but I do know that our lives need to be drastic…not understandable by the world….not easy….not every day the same as the day before…..not go with the flow…now going through the motions….not just doing it to get through……Our lives need to be called – CRAZY! Unthinkable! Unimaginable! Out there!!! If we do truly believe then we NEED to accept this role, accept what we need to do for Christ & do it!!! Stop being comfortable. Stop living like we think we know the gospel or have heard it preached, but have NO IDEA what to do about it. The problem is we do know, but we are too worried, scared, of what? The World! Praying my heart would be opened and changed & challenged. Thank you for this post! I pray many will read it, and accept Christ's Call to REALLY be a disciple and not pretend any more!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16828036149537747274 Melissa

    Thank you so much for sharing your heart honestly. You wrote your message beautifully.I am on the other side of the world with everything America has to offer, and my heart aches that I'm so tied down and can't jump up and come live with you. My husband doesn't have this heart for those in so much need (not that he has NO heart for them, just isn't quite ready to move across the world to them), but this is the life I am in and I need to submit to him. Maybe there will be a time where I can freely give so much of myself across the world, but for now I have to choose to do as much as I possibly can in our spoiled country.Bless you for your obedience to Him, for giving it all up. Had you gone to college and gotten married you quite possibly may have missed your chance. And that would have been a different kind of difficult.Thank you for sharing your life with us in the internet world! While I struggle with envy, I love reading about your adventures, though I've not commented before, I don't think.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07891018659343213080 Polly

    Oh sweet dear, I am praying for you and with you. At times it can be quite lonely when we choose to serve God. Just remember, even the "black sheeps" of the family are still sheeps of God. Blessings to you from another black sheep seeking to serve Him..blissandbumps.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13589698549708645809 Cindy

    Disclaimer: I'm not sure that what I'm about to write is appropriate to post as a public comment…In my opinion, the guy who gave up the opportunity to spend the rest of his life with you has just made the biggest mistake of his life.The Bible says to weep with those who weep. That is being done. I'm so sorry your heart is breaking.You have shared the truth yet again beautifully and powerfully. I believe we are yearning to hear truth spoken, and we come here to read it.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05692603062067512190 JD

    This is the most God-breathed post I have read this year…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08525088872963959082 Smith

    I find it amazing that no one has commented yet. I do not know you personally and found your blog through a friend of mine who is also overseas (not in the States). I find myself in the predicament of waiting. My family is 3 boys and all 5 and under.I think that your post is in no way offensive to me. . . no more than Christ is offensive. I did think while reading it of the body of Christ. That some are hands and feet and . . . legs and arms. I have yet to find out what my family's calling will be. Right now it is the unglamourous but comfortable position of waiting and being faithful in all investments and opportunities that I am given. I don't feel comfortable though, I feel restless. I know that there is something for my family beyond what we now do but I have yet to know what that is.As a side note I see the American Christian church being challenged in her apathy for her bridegroom. The economic climate here has taken away many things that the church has been trusting in. It is good and it is beginning to seperate us, sift us. So pray for us at home that we would see clearly what Jesus asks of us daily and learn to always say yes.I am thankful for the vision that the Lord has given you and am enacouraged by how he is providing. Keep challenging us but we need grace.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07791639300438585703 mom2calebnmicah

    Katie – I don't know how to write to you privately or if it is even necessary to be private about this. Here is my heart…poured out on paper without any extra thought or editing as I only have a moment to share. Boy this is tough. I am so glad to walk the journey. I am so glad you shared your heart. Your hours of typing and wording your post just right were worth it in my life. Please keep it coming! This is what I've been inwardly praying for without even realizing it, Katie. This has been in my heart for so long but I didn't know how to bring it about when it is not in the heart of those around me. Please pray for me as I live this out in front of my children and my husband. Please pray that God will capture the hearts of my young sons and that they will see God's principles lived out through my life. Please pray that God will help me in my weakness to fully die to myself and live with Him wholly as my focus. Please pray that I will claim His faithfulness and His truths as I seek His face to see how I can tangibly lose it all for His ultimate goals – love Him more than anyone so much so that it looks like I hate everyone I love. My boys and I have been privileged to listen to the first two messages. I am pondering all that I have heard in the past two hours. I am convicted on all accounts. Oh please, Lord Jesus, may your Spirit make this come about in my heart no matter what it takes. Give me the strength to abandon everything to Him so that I might devote each moment…each day to whatever it is that He is calling me to for His glory!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12332220347018136072 coffeemom

    Ah Katie. So very very few of us count the cost and still step up. So very few will carry the cross and find that joy. I want to. I do. But I fail EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. because you know….trying to offer yourself up, sacrifice, it HURTS. It's hard and it hurts. And in our comfy, my comfy selfish life, I can say it, but it's oh so very hard to DO it. Brava for you. You stay in my prayers for strength and peace. We all see your faith in your works…just like we all should. Bless you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07562942184875628846 Emily

    Thanks for sharing Katie. I am deeply moved and will ask God to continue speaking to me about how to further empty myself and sacrifice for His agenda. Thank you, personally, for being faithful to what God has called you to. Some of us need to be reminded about just how seriously God's words should be impacting our lives. I pray that He would continue to bless you richly with joy, health, and abundance in your home.

  • homesteadblogger.com/manyhands

    I have 14 children as well, ten of them adopted. I am 42 years old and understand some of your troubles and some of your joys. You are a total inspiration to me. You are a light in a dark and dying world. Keep up the good work and keep going in His direction. You are a blessings to many people, including me. Brenda

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13963931911436397173 miss mary

    Oh Katie, I just love your heart. Your pure heart. You do not even know. I want to first say (thank you) From the bottom of my heart for what you do.This is not something everyone can do or is called to do. But we love those who can do. (you)I am reaching 50 here soon and the loss of sight in one eye and hearing in one ear. I'm no good to anyone. This is why I do what I can do from where I am. I give here in the U.S. to the rescue missions and I have just recently sponsored a child where you are just this January. I don't work and my husband is unemployed , But I have been giving to you and now a child which I feel great about.We can not all pick up and go like you as some of us wish we could(just like that woman said) I seriously would do what you do, had it not been for my age and the disabilities I have now. I pray Everyday God uses me in someway and I know there is not much I can do. But By giving of my money (cause there's no physical giving) I am giving to you (missionary) to the poor and the needy, the hungry the naked, and taking the gospel to those who do not know Jesus (through people like you)We can do things like hand out gospel tracts, put up witnessing websites, do good to our neighbours and the like, but people like you are called higher to do so much more, God has truely blessed you with the ability that so many of us wish we had. God is using his best dear one. You. We love you and thank you for doing the Lord's bidding. God Bless you dear one. We love you. Big hugs to you. Keep that beautiful smile and that servants heart.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08815909849996753531 Giann

    Thank you for the post! I so badly want to do what you are doing. Why? Because I would SERIOUSLY give up EVERYTHING I have and go to the ends of the earth. I am only 15, but God has placed in my heart a heart for the lost, the needy, the poor, and the orphan!!! Thank you again for this post! Love, Giann~Romans 15:13~

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09123056845294148315 barcak flock

    You don't know us, and we will probably never meet this side of Heaven, but we love you and are praying for you. You are inspiring many.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00648717571683752221 Gary and Michelle

    Well said!!! We are counting the cost right now. We (a family of 8) are moving March 4 to Livingstone Zambia to start an orphan work.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12277126825351553004 Faith

    Awesome, simply awesome!I pray that Jesus will be so close to you that His presence will be with you where ever you go.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14271279430226815826 Carrie

    Katie – I have been reading your blog now for a few months, spending hours and hours going through old posts and anxiously awaiting new ones. I don't even really know what to say to you now, miles and miles away in Birmingham, AL, really I just want to let you know that you are changing lives here in Alabama as well as in Uganda. God is so amazing in how he orchestrates his will – around the same time I started reading your blog, I started attending church at Brook Hills and am now taking part in the Radical Experiment! I pray expectantly that the Lord will allow an opportunity for me to someday serve in Africa too – it has been in my heart for many years and your blog helps to spur it on – I already see God opening doors for me. I pray for you and your girls, asking God to send blessing upon you and to place you all in the center of His will.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06587716091724635850 Amanda

    Thank you Katie for this word of Truth. You are right, Our Lord requires everything. I sit here now, contemplating how much of myself I still need to give. And how it will hurt. But, not as much as any distance between me and Jesus Christ. Your ministry is powerful . . . to your family and community in Uganda, and to your readers. Thank you for being bold and for reminding me to FOLLOW.Amanda

  • Anonymous

    "And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My name’s sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life." Matthew 19:29The Lord bless you, my sister.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11684758798561410288 Becca Ann

    Thank you very much for this challenging and convicting post. You have given me much to think on. I have studied those passages (Luke 14 especially) before, but I appreciated your take on things. Thank you for your encouragement. I have been reading your blog for a long time now, and even though I have never met you I feel like I know you. Thank you for sharing your heart and in doing so encouraging others! May God continue to bless you..

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00107870813326451507 Jill

    I love you Katie. May we all be obedient to what God has called us to because the truth that you so explained beautifully (by the way the radical series rocked my world a few months ago myself) is simply that faith alone saves but faith never exists alone and if it does then your God is your comfort and not Jesus Christ. Again, I love you and praying for you that the awesome strength of Christ may consume you every day.

  • Anonymous

    I'm going to check out that sermon later tonight. Thank you for your open and honest heart. I yearn to have the same heart. I know what God's word says and I choose not to do it. I suppose maybe I use that excuse that Jesus didn't mean all of that stuff LITERALLY but I know I'm lying to myself.Have you read, "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan? So convicting!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03775937047916065974 Melanie

    Wow! Honestly, I am grieving for your loss. I know we pray for signs and sometimes when God gives the answer, it hurts so bad. All of us who pray for you on blogland want the "happily ever after" story for you. Your journey is amazing….It is like no other I know. It is a BIG cost for you and anyone who doesn't see that, needs some glasses. I am thankful for your faithfulness though. It has inspired my husband and I to step outside of our comfort zone….We are in the process of adopting and I will be quitting my job to come back home and be Mommy. I thought I was done having children (I have 2–They are 11 & 9). God has let me know over and over in the last year how important the orphans are to him….I teach at a great school. I know God has told me that I'll go back home, we'll go to one income, and I'll feel fulfilled in Him. It makes a difference. Just know that what you are doing makes a difference. I love your heart. Your words pierce me. I am convicted each time I read, but I can't wait to read your next post. I don't want to be complacent or delusional to how things really are. I love your candidness and openness. I think most people are looking for someone who is "real" I just completed reading, Red Letters. I now know….Proverbs 24:12….rings over and over in my mind….11-12 Rescue the perishing; don't hesitate to step in and help.If you say, "Hey, that's none of my business,"will that get you off the hook? Someone is watching you closely, you know—Someone not impressed with weak excuses.So many things God is trying to teach me….Thank you for sharing your heart with us….My family will continue to pray for you…that God will wrap His arms around you and hold you tight during this tough time.With love,Melanie

  • Anonymous

    Thank you so much Katie. Thank you for what you do. The Lord gave Isaiah 58 to me awhile back, and he said to live by it, and I've been finding out ever since what it costs to be a disciple. Keep finding comfort in his love, fellowship with his spirit, and encouragement straight from him.We serve an incredibly beautiful God.You live dangerously alive in your faith. Well done my sister.II Corinthians 6:4-10Philippians 3:7-11Hebrews 12: 1-3

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03832263040185490691 Kristen Laurence

    Beautiful. I just want to say, you're Catholic. You don't know it yet, but you're Catholic.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14961937972974864047 Kristi

    I just want to say thank you so much for posting this Katie. So much truth to it and it has also been on my heart. I shared my perspective of this too on my blog and referenced yours. Thanks again!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00780602398588917246 soontobemomof9

    I have no words. You said it all. Thank you sister, you are His hands and His feet! Bless you! Thanks for the sermon link. I will be listening!

  • Annette in Australia

    Wow Katie, this is the first post I've seen with no comments. Maybe they're coming later. I want to say thanks for delivering a hard word. I appreciate it.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02865346143293829794 “Tarry Home”

    Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I pray with you, that more of us would be challanged by God's call to help in a sacrificial way, in Africa. May our hearts be soft towards God! I look forward to taking time out to listen to your sermons. I have often thought, "you cannot change the world, but you can make a world of differnce to a child one little person at a time!" May God bless you richly for making that world of differnce to all your chldren! I pray for your safety and peace! That God woud provide for your every need.

  • Anonymous

    I am very new to your blog….I am in awe of your life and walk…and I just wanted you to know that I appreciate your post. God each person to give up, to sacrifice, to walk with HIm…even when it's uncomfortable. That life can look very different in each person…and you are right, it is joyful and fulfilling….and difficult. Oh, the blessings we miss because of our lack of obedience

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16828036149537747274 Melissa

    So I felt like I was throwing my dh under the bus with my comment. He loves the Lord, and he's not a big bad ogre who says no we can't help people, he just has a different heart for different things and now that we're married, we have to agree on major decisions like adopting more kids or going on mission trips. That's what I meant!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17845255663273183393 Muellers

    Your story is an amazing one. One that is full of God's amazing love and compassion, but at the same time amazing sadness for what you have given up. However, God has chosen you for a special purpose and would not make you give those things up without having something even more amazing waiting for you. Praise God that you realize that.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14699414223901722890 Shawnda

    Thanks for sharing your heart, Katie!!! The Gospel does demand sacrifice, and it's not glamourous, but IS rewarding, amen?! LOVE the radical series by Platt!!!! Anointed words!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01512336722558551781 kbarbee

    You are one of the most beautiful human beings I have ever heard words from on this earth.I am incredibly encouraged today by these words, to see truth spoken so boldly in the face of so many lies about comfort constantly shouted by the world. We like to shove God into the context of those lies and today it is so so so refreshing to be reminded that it's not just ok for us to turn away from the things of this world and turn towards the things God says, but that it is actually what we are created for.I'm in the process of learning how to disappoint my family and let the world define me as a failure so that I can do the things that God is asking me to do.I am thankful that you exist.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06729548930434689842 The Byrd’s Nest

    Katie….a dear sweet friend referred me to your blog awhile back. I am a missionary learning Spanish in Costa Rica and then moving to Mexico to live among the poor. I am much much older than you but I am constantly inspired by your wisdom…a wisdom of the the Lord that is way beyond your years sweet girl. I know about counting the costs…I too left behind important people in my life. I left behind two older children. It is so terribly hard isn't it? Cling to these verses sweet sister and then there is this that I read the other day in my bible study and it has stuck with me every day since……God places us in positions beyond our capabilites so that we will be at His absolute mercy, realizing that only He can succeed (Beth Moore)I just wanted you to know that I understand your pain….I understand your frustrations with others not "getting it" and it seems that the laborers for the Lord have always been few. I will join you in praying for more workers…not just people who say that want to help but that they begin to pray…Lord how can you use me? Thank you for all that you do for those precious people Katie….you really are so inspiring to me.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10864663211459155035 Clair Verway

    Katie,You don't know me. I stumbled onto your blog because of a suggestion by Amanda Lehman, someone I suspect is more like you than most. Respectfully, you are wrong. You say you don't have the answers or you're not getting it right. Baloney. You have it exactly right. God bless you and keep you from doubting that what you are doing is precisely what He wants you to do. I pray you will feel Him wrap you in His everlasting arms RIGHT NOW.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08459760495338493222 Beth

    Thank you for sharing your heart with us, some people who know and love you, and others, like me, who have found your blog and follow just because there's something different about you and what you're doing. We, I, needed this challenge…. to really see and care for the needy, instead of worrying about my own selfish little life. I can't really even begin to imagine what goes on in your heart, but I can tell you that you, in your heart of obedience on this, have touched me, and I will be praying for you and your kids. Thank you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17853322913454909483 Mochamama

    Thank you for sharing your heart!! Know that thousands of miles away you have touched my life and God has used you to get my attention. I pray daily for you, your family, and God's hand on your life.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01444046667591341655 Rachel E.

    I am so glad you shared this, Katie. You are a beautiful, inspiring write and I am always convicted to think less of myself and to keep on giving to others, even when I feel depleted. God ALWAYS fills us up!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18319163526335686422 The Boyds

    Katie, to me this is just an amazingly beautiful post. I love it! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! What you said desperately needs to be said to the American church. Ever since I read Francis Chan's book "Crazy Love" in 12/2008, my understanding and burden for the things you're saying started and continues to grow. The more I read and meditate on God's Word, listen to sermons and read books pertaining to this area, the more my convictions have grown. This area is a huge "blind spot" in the American church as David Platt says, and in great need of reform. When my wife and I learned about you and your blog and then read through the whole thing last October in a couple of days, we have looked at you as a living illustration of the passages you've quoted from and many others. The way you live your life actually helps us to understand these passages because, like I said, you're such a clear illustration of what it means to follow Christ! These passages do not make much sense when we're in hot pursuit of the "good American life". There is a world of suffering out there that we as Christians are called to be burdened for and to put our faith to work for by going to, and by giving our resources to. We look at you as a model for what we would like to do in the future, possibly in Ethiopia. We have just got to get disconnected a little bit more from our "good American life" and the commitments we've made that must be honored. A huge part of our journey in understanding our big blind spot was the "Radical" series of sermons by David Platt you referred to. These sermons, along with his sermons from the book of James, and the "Radical Experiment" going on at the church he pastors, and where we are now members, has had a huge impact on us. I was excited to see your reference to these sermons and would also strongly encourage others to listen to them, for they are life-changing. I think these sermons along with others from men like John Piper would greatly encourage you in the work you're doing also. Again, thank you for the work you're doing and the example you are. My wife and I pray for you, and will be especially praying hard for you during what seems to be a tough time in your life right now.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17897691709460145969 V

    I agree 100%!! awesome post Katie.VanessaAdopting from EthiopiaJourneytojames1-27@blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12372228068864440179 sunny-d

    sweet, sweet Lord. Mighty one..fill us with your Spirit. Press down on us with your love and let us not be carried away with this dying world. Thank you for, Katie. Thank you for her voice…Your voice…in such a time as this. More of this, please! Go God, Beat Satan!! woohoo I love your boldness, K!luvluvSunny d

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16773350184591543053 Gayla

    So good, Katie. So true. I do not want the end of my life to look like the end of Schindler's List when he realizes that for all he did, he really could have done more. Oh! The ache…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05591830843936896047 petersonclan

    Katie, you don't know me, nor do I know you any more than by your blog, which I stumbled across a month or so ago and now have made required reading for my daughters.I want to encourage you… you can post this on or just keep it for you… but God has a great and glorious plan. Both for you and those beautiful daughters He has given you.And although it seems like SO MUCH to give up right now, God is smiling and saying, "Well done." His plan is good. He has plans to prosper you.I also was given a choice at age 21. To go with a young man I loved or to follow Christ in what He wanted me to do. When put like that (and through a series of events I knew it was what God wanted of me) I chose to follow Him and forsake the young man. God's plan was so much better than mine!!! I am now married to a WONDERFUL man who loves God, and we have 10 children. You can look at our blog http://www.petersonclan. com .I say this to encourage you. I do not know that God has marriage in your future. But I trust absolutely that He has something great for you.Feel free not to post this. I really wanted to just write to you and encourage your splintered heart. I know it is hard. I know you are hurting. I know He has asked much of you. I also know that He is well pleased with your obedience.Carri Petersonpetersonclan@momys.netwww.petersonclan.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18398650125200338008 Marisa

    Thank you for sharing your heart! It certainly has me thinking and reevaluating my own walk with the Lord. Have I given up everything? Am I willing to surrender it all to Him? I know He is worth it!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03230682066708030621 Lora Lynn @ Vitafamiliae

    Katie- I know you don't really get to read comments much here, but just in case, I wanted you to know that I appreciate the time and effort you put into your words on this post. I am sorry for your heartache. I admire your bravery with your words. And I thank you for having the courage to put your convictions into action daily. As members of Brook Hills, we were completely altered by David's sermon. Between your blog and David's sermons, God has called us to adopt from Uganda. We're waiting on our referral (and all that legal stuff) now. Just wanted you to know that your voice is out there. You're being heard. And you're changing people. Hugs, girl. Hugs.

  • Anonymous

    Katie, you are disappearing and we are seeing Jesus more and more in your life lived out before us. God has amazing things in store for your life, not merely in the blessed hope for eternity but here upon this earth, even upon the rugged red-earth clay of Uganda…Your heart spilled out before us is such a precious gift! In your true weakness, He is showing Himself strong. Keep pouring out your heart, dear sister, pouring out your life. Even in the midst of the pain, you are finding the blessed joy of being perfectly centered in His will for your life.

  • ellie

    wow… this is powerful. thanks so much for the reminder. you are an inspiration and i am confident that God is and will continue to do wondrous things with your life!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05302692829810205652 On A Hot Tin Roof

    my heart is spilling over now. i love how the Bible…God's words & promises…are real to you. the the Bible is living & breathing. i know you are not perfect but you are a standard bearer. thank you for your words. we are praying for you in the Simmons household & i make my daughters read your blog. God bless you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04527181543282046538 Children IN Arms

    Katie, you are inspiring. My wife, myself, and another family have been following your blog. We found it when we decided to follow the calling on our hearts. We are, Lord willing, moving to South Africa in the fall to work along side a church and orphanage. You are an inspiration to all. Our hearts go out to you. You will be in our prayers.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05600369674725705065 Greg Murtha

    Thank you Katie.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05600369674725705065 Greg Murtha

    Thank you Katie.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07877682982361449979 Becca

    This is absolutely a beautifully authentic and truth-filled post. I love it. Thank you for sharing your heart.

  • Anonymous

    Katie, your words have touched my heart. I have been blessed to adopt 5 children; many of them affected by drugs. What you say is so true! As Christians, we must be willing "to get our hands dirty." I am glad that we have adopted these children, but it is a sacrifice. It is not easy to have a baby addicted to drugs at birth. It is not easy to deal with brain damage from those same drugs. God does require us to lay down our lives. Bless you for having the courage to write this. May others be encouraged to seek the Lord for His will in their lives.Blessings,Amanda

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02738693377806799666 Kat

    Your words are so humbling. I know you say these things in truth, love, and grace and honestly it convicts me. Thank you for sharing your life with all of us here. Truly amazing and challenging…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16250379150320815001 Amy

    Oh, my heart hurts for you. I know that it is not easy to do what you do. However, I do so see you as one of the heroes of the faith. You have truly given all this world has to offer. Right now my family is having a rough time and I complain. Thank you for opening my eyes and showing me that even though it is "tough" I have nothing to complain about. Thank you for showing me that I need to be doing a lot more for Jesus and that my life is not near radical enough. Thank you Katie and keep up the good work!!!Amy in GA

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02414655086213403805 Journey To Our China Doll

    Thanks for spilling it, girl! So proud of you for your reckless faith and abandon. You challenge me to the core. I don't wanna be a goat!

  • Elizabeth G.

    I do so appreciate what you are saying, but wanted to gently offer another perspective. I WOULD joyfully give up all in a heartbeat and adopt 30 kids and live in a third world country… if that was where God called me. God instead called me to marry young, practice midwifery during my barren years, now to have many young babes in very few years, one born with epilepsy, and to cry out and weep and long for and pray for children who suffer, all for His Glory. It is not comfort that prevents me from moving to Africa, it is doing the will of God as he calls me.There is an analogy that Paul Washer uses for missionaries as ones who are lowered into a dark and dangerous well (I think to dig or repair it) and of on the other side, the ones who dig in their heels and burn their hands holding the rope. There is a cost to both. May we here share the scars of rope burned hands from the sacrifice of supporting those in the field, each as the Lord calls.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09769370959382472686 Whitney

    Wow. Thank you for sharing, Katie! The Lord has truly spoken through you and His words are very convicting. I read your blog often and think about the sacrifices you are making in order to follow Christ's will. Thank you for being so authentic and sharing the hard parts!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01203583624401719308 Amy

    Oh Wow. Katie, I have followed your blog and your ministry. Shoot, I have had your button scrolling on the side of my own blog for the better part of a year. But I don't believe I have ever before left a comment.Perhaps it's because what you are doing with this life you've been given is so big, and what I am doing…well, isn't. I am compelled to write now. I admire you so (I realize that's not what you are looking for, but there you have it). You have been an inspiration to me.I have often wondered what it is about some people that enables them to "leave it all behind" to follow God's call. An extra portion of courage? An adventurous spirit? No. Not in cases such as yours. Something all together different is at work.Faith. Obedience. Desire. Love.I pray daily, "God, let it be with me as you say." And I mean it.Difference is, I pray it…You Live It.May God fill you up. May you in all ways be blessed. And may you know that though few of us are capable…make that WILLING in the way that you are, there are those of us out here that are lifting you up with love and in prayer that you never knew existed.With Love,Amyhttp://amy-forsuchatimeasthis.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04028135400498827347 Wife to the Rockstar

    Thank you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03260718667775521411 Kala

    Katie, words cant describe how convicted, challenged, and encouraged ive been just by simply reading your posts! You are an inspiration to me, and I have grown spiritually by hearing about your relationship with the lord and your encouragement from the word. Know that I am praying for you and your family!

  • http://vanityofvanities.wordpress.com/ vanityofvanities

    The passages you reference are ones which keep me up at night. Thank you for being bold in speaking the truth.

  • Anonymous

    I can tell you heart is broken. Prays to you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14049355043795581765 Tamara

    Katie, Your life has captured my attention and caused me to ask these same questions of myself. You are truly a woman after God's own heart. Thank you for everything you do for your children and the children of Uganda.I am so sorry for your heartbreak and you both are in my prayers. I will be looking at my own life and the things God is calling me to and I will count the cost.God bless you for sharing this.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04663485334507603820 erika

    thanks for putting this all out here. words i seriously needed to hear today. you are a miracle. may God continue to bless you and all you do.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973534029927632805 Gramma 2 Many

    Thank you Katie.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01763114712196007067 Cathy

    Katie, we have 4 children, all adopted. The youngest are twins, one of whom has CP (non verbal, wheelchair, self abusive etc. Over and over before we made the decision to accept her, we felt God telling us that we weren't here for Disney cruises and ski vacations. But, it has been hard. On days when I have been bitten, repeatedly restrained her, or cleaned up played in feces yet again, I find myself almost angry with God. We have had "friends" basically abandon us, because we make them uncomfortable or perhaps even afraid, "what if God asks us to do something like that?" A family member even once said she didn't pray about things like that because she didn't want to know what God would say. Many people just seem to think we are crazy. And, then I feel guilty. I am still in my upper middle class house, with the privelege of fighting isurance which covers more therapy than most kids in other coutries could even dream of. I have plenty and yet I still wallow in my self pity. I would not change my decision. Every… EVERY child deserves a chance, a home, a parent, faith, hope. If I believe this, it is my calling to act. This is why you and I are here. Cry on sweet sister.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16002175784002275571 lisa_jesusfreak33

    Wow katie…this is absolutely amazing. Convicting and inspiring at the same time. Thank you for sharing your heart and your passion. You are a woman after God's heart, and I know He is so proud of you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02200248088883355226 Allison

    I know you don't know me and I've never met you, but you are truly an inspiration to me. I got in touch with your blog through some friends of mine, and I absolutely love reading what you have to say. Especially this one. I feel God has put it on my heart to do something to an extent of what you are doing, but this message smacked me in the face. I am extremely comfortable in my life and wonder if I've just gotten comfortable with the idea of God's mission because I'm not actually doing it. Thank you, thank you, for what you wrote.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17261417393861303017 Emily

    Thank you. Your words are appreciated. Really.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13777380907937612888 Wright Family

    Katie, Counting the cost will always keep us from buying the field until we catch site of the pearl of great price that is hidden there. Once we have seen it, we know that no expense is too great. Congratulations on buying the field. Catherine

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13777380907937612888 Wright Family

    Katie, Counting the cost will always keep us from buying the field until we catch site of the pearl of great price that is hidden there. Once we have seen it, we know that no expense is too great. Congratulations on buying the field. Catherine

  • Shannon

    Hi Katie-I came across your blog via Leslie Ludy's website, and I'm blown away by what I've seen. You are truly walking with the Lord, completely abandoned to Him. I'm not sure where God will lead me over the next few years, but I know that I desire to be like you being like Christ. I'm thankful for your example, and I will continue to pray for you and your children.Love, Shannon

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16850927060426216852 David and Marianne

    Thank you Katie … thank you for counting the cost and choosing to give your all to the Lord. In your youth you have chosen to "do hard things" and exhibit "crazy love"(if i can borrow a few favorite titles to make a point) that blows most of us readers away. You are an inspiration to many of my girls in our youth group and proof that God can do BIG things through them right now as teens. But what I have been most impressed with is not your charity or even your great sacrifice but your tender heart, humility and love for our Most High God. You liken another young person God used in magnificent ways for His chosen ones… King Josiah. I encourage you to read about him and the "crazy" things he did in order to love the Lord his God with all his heart and all his soul(2 Kings 22-23 and 2 Chron. 32,I think : ) May you be encouraged to stand strong and physically feel the mighty arm of God, who secures the feet of His godly ones. May you find comfort in His refuge this very moment.A sister in Christ in IL,Marianne

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18058693877162174378 Keith and Kristin

    Katie,As I have followed your blog tears have spilled down my face when I think of the price you have paid to follow Jesus. I see the picture of you and your brother, your parents, the story of the ending of your relationship — and you are right. The cost is high. Very, very high. You are also right that not very many of us are willing to pay that price. I'd like to add James 1:27, which says that, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." The words you share are truth — straight from God's word. May we all heed them today! Gratefully,Kristin

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13915229863085576017 Janell

    I read your post, I watched the video link, and my soul is craving more. More Jesus, more truth, more understanding, more love…..

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18303186894822369359 John Hull

    Much to digest. I may have a comment later, but for now…..You got it right…no rambling, just beauty.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17704105097936793987 blissful thoughts

    Katie… this heart of mine spilled tonight too. Maybe not on a blog, but here in my dorm room I have been pressed for a year, the words of James 2 ringing in my head: "Faith without deeds is dead." He has me finishing my degree. My heart is for the taking. My heart is ready. Whether it's supposed to be back in my hometown or in another country. Life isn't easy. I was pondering the messy and hurtful things of life tonight, before reading this. Thank you. Thank you for reminding me that… even though we are pressed, we are not crushed. Even though we are persecuted for His sake, we are victorious. For, the heart that is set on His will and promises is the most blessed of all. Your testimony is incredible. Your life… is exemplary of Jesus Christ. all I can say is: thank you for being a mother of 14 with dust and dirt and spit up everywhere. For, in doing that, you are fulfilling God's ultimate calling on your life.i'm praying and sending love.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18058693877162174378 Keith and Kristin

    Katie,As I have followed your blog tears have spilled down my face when I think of the price you have paid to follow Jesus. I see the picture of you and your brother, your parents, the story of the ending of your relationship — and you are right. The cost is high. Very, very high. You are also right that not very many of us are willing to pay that price. I'd like to add James 1:27, which says that, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." The words you speak are truth — straight from the Word. May we heed them TODAY.Gratefully,The Williams Family

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08700790987865135217 manumit

    Thank you:1. for praying over this before you wrote it2. for being obedient to post this

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00709368343967989328 Carrien

    Dear Katie, I found your blog last month, and I have read your story from start to present since then. I am endlessly impressed with the courage you have to say yes to the person/task that is right in front of you, that God has given you to do. I think that is all that anyone need do really, is say yes to what God gives them today. Enough of that and our tomorrows will be radically different.I just want to tell you that for some reason you have been on my heart all month, specifically about you and Ben, what you have shared about that relationship, and I have been praying for you.I am really confident both from prayer and experiences in this, (I've been married 10 years now) that the husband you are given will be so much more what you need than anything you have been able to imagine before now. And I am certain that you are walking the right direction to find him as you are walking in true life with Jesus.hugs from California

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16640455000517696394 Reagan

    Katie,I am so sorry that you are heartbroken and lonely. This week I have felt like I have no one to talk to and although you have no idea who I am I have thought of you often thinking that I could be way more lonely living in Uganda where I cant even find someone to speak the same language as me! Lately I have been thinking the same thing sometimes we comfortable Christian Americans have this mindset that since we won't be thrown in jail or fed to the lions because of our faith we don't have to choose. We feel like we can live the lives we want and have Jesus too with no sacrifice at all. Anyways I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of the encouragement you've given me through your blog. The joy that you exude no matter the circumstances is out of this world crazy and inspiring. Keep on keepin on!:) Matthew 9:37~Reagan

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14973345052859247902 Family

    amen.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14339189484151758472 *Tanyetta*

    Your story has moved me. Thank You for sharing your beliefs and what has been on your heart. I read in the newspaper of a couple here in my town that just returned from Haiti with two children they adopted. I looked up their information and sent them a donation. Now that I have read your post, I feel that I need to do a little more than just sending in a check. I am not sure what that thing that I am supposed to do is yet but, I am resting assured that it will be revealed to me. I am here by way of Angie's blog and took a chance and clicked on your post. I am very happy that I did. Keep on doing what you're doing. You're an inspiration to many people!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16115976766242496820 Little Sparrow

    What does it look like to loose it all living in california?Thats not a clear question but I desire to give it all in fact i'm willing but like you were when you first lost it all I'm young 17 and I want to radically live yet I'm held back..not by material comforts because I feel I'm willing to let go In fact a desire that so deeply some nights. Still at times I fear becoming legalistic by following these passions. For example: really only buying what I need. And when this mindset arises and I find peace the times I want to buy something for myself I don't know if thats ok (this is where i fear being legalistic)I pray for God to show me because I see poverty and am passionate to help. It just makes sense to give as much as I can to buy what I need to eat what i need in order to help the starving…Yet my parents don't agree an so many of my friends.. I fear I will make feel guilty when I tell them I only like buying what I need.I this a legalistic mindset?Is there a balance to this?so many people of faith in my life don't live this way and not having support in that way makes me question If this Is right or is it legalistic as some may call it.Yet seeing Gods word I feel it makes sense.I'm praying God shows me but If you get back to me I know your advice would be one I could trust.Thank you for allowing Jesus to live through you he's moved in my life because of it.-J.L

  • http://lorismusings.wordpress.com/ lorismusings

    Amen sister!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05778352345655500826 Jason

    Thank you Katie! I often, well more than often, need a little perspective. You are more than an inspiration…you are an answer to prayer. We recently joined the church at brook hills and we are on your heels and you are in our prayers! I am in my infancy and you are strong in Christ, man do you inspire me! Rock on Katie, Rock on!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09190607282884028298 vango

    Ms. Katie, well written! my initial reaction to your post was "well, your situation affords a more direct communion with your feelings which elicit your needs and provide the currency spent at the table of the Lord. You live very direct in your dependency on Jesus, perfectly imperfect. You also touch on our shared American plight… too comfortable for our own good. Its not about everyone packing up and moving to Uganda to find Jesus. We need to SHOW UP right where we are at – then move as our hearts lead – not only can we find life but the abundant life Christ has promised. And we stop the dysfunction (even in Christianity) that plagues so many families and generations – to survive, to act the part, to care-take, to hide – protect our true selves (made in the image and likeness of God) and thus, we float in grand gestures of "I would love to do what you do" if I only had a heart…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00421726520790115365 Emmie Rose

    Hi Katie, I'm Emma, I;m from England and about the same age as you. It's nice to kind of 'meet' you in this strange bloggy world!I have been following your blog for a while now. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, joys and struggles along the journey.I think sometimes it seems to people that it they removed themselves from everything that reminds them of normal life – the town they grew up in, the friends they made since they were little, the general expectations of society – then they would find it much easier to give all away. A novel setting where all is unknown looks from the outside like a fresh life, a chance to start over, to live the way you always wanted to for Jesus but never got round to.Sometimes reading your blog I have felt the same as the comment given to you by the woman. 'I could do that too…. only I'm stuck here, with all these expectations, responsibilities, all these comforts.'But maybe the point is that this thinking is really just similar to the idea that'the other side is greener'. Your life in Uganda is reality not a short term mission trip. I'm assuming you get bogged down in mundane work and that the things that once seemed exotic and new are now just part of your everyday life. I'm sure you have the same or similar struggles to just take it easy and to 'give up on giving up' that others experience in the comfortable West.I guess my thought is this; you were called to Uganda, and as I am not called to Uganda at the moment I excuse myself by thinking the same sacrifices are not expected of me. BUT THEY ARE! right here in England, living in a seemingly wealthy city as a 21 year old student with my whole life ahead of me. Jesus calls all of us to carry his cross. Where ever we are there are children in need of nurturing and love. There are blind grandmas alone and rejected by the community. There are women struggling with domestic violence and precious young babies.(These examples are all real people in my life, not a generic idea of suffering people).As readers of this blog we need to look for the stories Katie tells in our own lives, as well as supporting hers in Uganda. Thank you so much for continuing to help me see that Katie.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15968518688947590276 Jill Funkhouser

    ny blessings and love The funkhouserswww.campfunk.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16690708589261159511 The Millers

    Hi Katie,Thank you for your voice and opening your heart. Thank you for loving our Saviour and challenging the Body of Christ! I love you! We support what you are doing in Uganda through prayer and cash. :) Our pastor has always said that we are all called to support building the Kingdom around the world — some go and others send. Just a thought, but it seems that sometimes we think the ones who are called to "go" sacrifice more than the ones who are called to send. But maybe, just maybe the ones who send sacrifice just as much, because sometimes they sacrifice the strong desire, the willingness, and heartfelt dream to go so that they can be obedient and send. Just because not everyone goes doesn't mean they enjoy comforts more – maybe they've sacrificed their dreams so that others can go. So maybe this woman is sacrificing her desire to do what you do in order to be obedient to God and do what He has called her to do – even if she is surrounded by comfort doing it — it doesn't mean she is comfortable. It takes the whole body to build the Kingdom! Thank you for doing what God has called you to do.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17726528219161458078 steal magnolias

    your words are a blessing. to GOD be the GLORY for great things he has done… is doing… and will contiue to do.it is because of the Lord's mercies, that you are not consumed. his compassions do not fail. They are new EVERY morning. GREAT is HIS faithfulness.Lamentations 3:22-23

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11185144278221475770 Michelle

    Beautiful

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01700161509436312942 *Ruthie

    You've inspired me today, Katie. God bless. You are in my prayers. HE IS FAITHFUL.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14266138921396622842 Meli n Pat

    Ouch. You are right. Thank you for your honesty about the not-so-glamorous life of following Jesus COMPLETELY. Thank you as much for sharing how LIFE-GIVING it is. I would call this a spurring on that Hebrews tells us to do for each other. "Yes, Lord; now whats the question?"

  • Cris

    I am sorry about your hurtful break up. I am glad you have God to give you love and comfort through this time, though.I will also pray for the American lady who spoke about wishing she could do what you are doing. May God give her the strength and courage to do what He has put in her heart the desire to do. God bless!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14144819273838586814 Jen

    Be encouraged, sweet child of God. Your heart is breathtaking. Prayers are with you. Thankful you are willing to pay the cost.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03796808566902777825 Fuad

    You were right… this post was *very hard* to read.Thank you for righting it..Please pray for me, a sinner.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07631920654633599712 TheHappyNeills

    if this post is hard for some to read, then that's just evidence that you were supposed to say it! Jesus' calling, his truth, and what he requires of us should not be comfortable, wherever we are at… if it is, then WE have become too comfortable. life with Him SHOULD be costly!

  • Anonymous

    Your calling reminds me very much of Mother Teresa's. I pray that you will find sisters to join you and give you comfort and companionship in your vocation. God will not ask you to do it all by yourself. You can be part of a team. Love tends towards unity. The Church tends towards unity. One of the fruits of the Holy Spirit is peace, and Mother Teresa surely had that. Pray about whether you should join the Daughters of Charity. You will become a nameless, faceless, blogless worker bee. But you will do the same work you do now, and have peace at the same time. What a light yoke our Savior offers us! Even when the work is hard.Praying for you,A Brother

  • Anonymous

    Katie – thanks so much for this post. I do believe goers and senders are necessary in the kingdom (I am so thankful for the OBEDIENCE of the believers who have NOT gone, but are financially supporting you and your family and all that you do!), and that sacrifice looks different for every believer depending on their desires, gifts, and where the Lord has called them. I teach in an inner-city middle school, and this is where the Lord has called me – NOT to sell everything I own and quit my job, but to STAY and invest in the children and communities of severe need where I live and work. So I would hope that if I said to you that I think I would love to do what you do (and I believe I would) that you would not assume that comfort holds me back, but understand that the Lord has instead called me to be HERE and that although we plan our path, He is directing our steps for his purpose and glory, whether in Uganda, inner-city America, or "comfortable" suburban communities.-claire

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10990043332024723288 wmiller

    Where are the comments from guys?Women, make the guys in your life read this. And make them read it again. And tell them to do something, encourage us for we are so fearful.I'm sorry, Katie. You shame me so I will do better for I have left the naked naked and the hungry hungry and the thirsty thirsty. Thank you for letting your holy fire break through your sweet humility. I am a goat no longer.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06771830355436494632 German

    "and He said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness" II Corinthians 12:9

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03667089316081949532 Taylor Norris

    Thank you so much for sharing this! I live in the city and walk by hungry people everyday. I wish I gave more and I am encouraged to keep challenging myself! God bless you!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16684082406469270237 Amy

    Katie,I love you. I love your heart. And I love the Jesus who reigns in your life. Thank you for those words of truth that ALL of us need to hear. I heard someone say yesterday "The need is the call". No more waiting…sitting around wondering if we should get up off our butts and help those in need in a way that is tangible and radically like our Savior. We have ALL been called. Thank you for that reminder. I want to be found doing what Jesus would be doing when He comes for me. God, give us all courage and faith to do so!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13006198193450517574 Amy

    Just wanted you to know I pray every day to be more like YOU- because you are so much like HIM. Thanks for your example.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03502482145003287618 Jamey

    Katie,I needed to hear those words. You smacked me hard between the eyes. I will continue to pray for you, as you are touching so many!THANK YOU!!!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00558350604909983773 love2bmom

    Thank you Katie. Your radical faith inspires me. I love you. Don't ever stop writing. We need you.Caroleemom to 10, waiting for our #11 and #12 in Liberia.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05624123378906452862 Patty’s Stitches

    Amen sister.

  • Hollye-Beth

    I've been reading your blog for a while now. I know we don't know each other, but you have inspired me. I'm a senior at a small Christian school in Tennessee. I feel a huge calling to Africa, specifically Kenya. I've been struggling with whether I wanted to go to college or not. Right now, I feel like God is calling me to college, but I have a chance to study at an orphanage in Zambia for a semester. Your encouragement and your words touch me on such a deep level. It's like you were speaking directly to me. Thank you for sharing your heart with so many. My eyes were really opened by your last entry. Again, thank you for your service and what you stand for. God has blessed you so richly. Acts 2:42-27 has been on my heart lately, and your life is an example of that. I'm praying for you. Your sister in Christ, Hollye-Beth

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02576325207024237500 THE CHETNEY 3

    Thank you for sharing these truths, no matter how hard for you, or for those of us whose ears it will fall on. This is such a tough one.A while back, I was planning a Bible study on finances, and was going to use the passage where Jesus talks about giving everything to the poor. I could not find ONE commentary that didn't simply say that it was just a call to see where your heart is, etc. etc. Not once did anyone say that he REALLY MEANT IT. Thanks for bringing this truly prophetic word to us all today. I, for one, needed to hear this. Bless you Katie. :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10674278855865751383 Chantelle

    I sincerely hope that your boyfriend felt led in a different direction by the Holy Spirit and nothing else, because otherwise I would be feeling very sorry for him right about now, losing a woman like you. You're one in a million. — On a separate note, THANK YOU for your refreshing honesty about the apathy of modern day Christians. I am convicted afresh and anew. -Chantelle (mom to 5 internationally adopted)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12560337640607116604 Holly

    Wow, wow, wow! Straight from the Holy Spirit, that post is. Thanks for shaking us out of our boots. Oh, that we Christians would finally get it. Thank you, thank you, Katie. And I think God is going to bring the right man into your life one day, straight to Uganda with you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12658567053619590014 Sara

    Dear Katie,I don't know you, and have no idea how I came across your blog, but have been following for a few months… This post especially touched me. Thank you for the rebuke, for the reminder, for the inspiriation. I was truly blessed.You are in my prayers.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you for your honest and insightful post. This is something I've been struggling with lately- how do I explain to my children that there are other kids in the world who are starving to death when we live with such excess? I don't have the answers and I struggle with whether I'm doing things the way Jesus wants me to. I am one of those people who gives to the poor, volunteers for charities, etc. but for the most part I live a very comfortable life when I KNOW others are suffering. I'm wondering how I justify that I deserve so much when others have so little.Lots of thoughts…..no answers………thanks though for opening our eyes to the rest of the world.-Megan

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10730950525197660589 Amanda

    I cried as I read your blog. this is my first time here and I am awed and amazed at what you are doing. and what it has cost you. I wish I could do what you do but I know that I can not. I dont know what its like to be a mother I am not one. I dont know what its like to be so completely wrapped in the arms of the Lord because I am not. You have inspired me to give more of what and who I am than just the top coat that I have given. I look forward to reading more of your adventure, what a beautiful family you have. If only we all could have a portion of the courage, strength, and love that you have

  • Dana

    Katie, I know you probably have no time to read all these comments, but I just want to thank you for this post. You are so incredibly right and I honestly just hear God speaking through you. As a 17 year old facing a lot of decisions for the future, I'm truly encouraged by your blog to count the cost and live the life that God created me for. I wish I could be as courageous and faithful as you, but I know that with God all things are possible. Thank you for being such an amazing example to a teenage girl like me. You and your family are in my prayers.-Dana

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13018591533443190392 Emmychka

    Katie, I am a missionary living in Ukraine. God one night told me to go to a country I had never seen and leave everything behind. I can understand everything you have said. The thing is, even though you and I have walked through valleys and shed rivers of tears and know that we do not get to lead the glamorous lifstyles we thought we might one day, Jesus is being glorified through us and that thought alone is worth more than anything this world could give.Some of these comments are telling you "Oh my heart is breaking for you" and yet you've clearly stated your life is full and wonderful and you have JOY. My heart breaks for people who refuse to count the cost. Who refuse to see the beauty in spit up and hugging orphans and standing by them even when they are screaming at you their hate because you are telling them "no". Beautiful feet according to Jesus, are dusty, dirty, calloused, blistered and seen lost of road. You have beautiful feet. You have a beautiful life. And in heaven the Reward that you will receive will be more than anything this world could give – face to face with our Creator. Hallelujah!Not to mention that rooms of treasure and the crown God will give you!You have such a popular blog. I would say "Hey we should be friends"….but I'm not sure you would have time for that. But nonetheless, I will lift you up in prayer and ask that you say a prayer for me and my ministry in Ukraine. God bless you sister. If we don't see each other this side of heaven, I hope to meet you before the throne. :)Love,Emily

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11544297586280909565 ChooseLove

    Katie, love this post – I feel the pain, and I feel comforted by your words. I am a single mom too, to foster children in Tennessee. When I tell people that, I often get the response, "Oh, I could never do that. I could never give up a baby." It is like a punch in the gut to me to hear that. I can't do it either!!! It is a higher cost than I can possibly bear!!!! But OI am not alone; my God goes with me, bears the cost with me. My Savior gave everything for me, my Father gave up His only Son for me, so I take in children, love children, and lose children. It is excruciating at times. But it is also full of joy and love and peace. I am sure there is no one on earth more blessed than I. Although I have never married, God is making me mother to a multitude. God is good.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07166993353210205879 Alison

    The most purifying and lovely blog post I have read in a long time. Your blog is truly one of the very few worth keeping up with. Thank you! God bless you.

  • Kaitlyn

    Tears flowed down my face as I read your blog, Katie, and even as I type now.. because everything you wrote is identical to everything God has been speaking to my heart, especially in the last several months.. How shall we..how can I, stand before His Presence and say I love Him if I have not ACTIVELY loved those HE loves?? And He says, "Obey. Deny self, take up the cross, and follow ME.."Thank you so, SO much for sharing. You and your girls are very often in my prayers! May He continue to hold you and fill you as you seek His face: "Open your mouth wide and I will fill it," Psalms 81:10.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01234092616668328379 Meghan

    Thank you for this post. I didn't know I needed to hear it but I did. I feel a huge push to do something. Stop being complacent in the "Christianity" that surrounds us. While the story of the woman was brave and heartbreaking, and courageous, I realize that not everyone will be called to do this. But everyone WILL BE CALLED. And it's about listening to that call that God has placed on each individual heart and following it. I am responsible to be Christ to people in need. To everyone.Thank you again for the post. I will be praying for you.-Meghan

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11307908288718286706 dudeitshwood

    Incredible. Your reward is going to be amazing in Heaven. Praying for you,Hollyan

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09790032381626423763 James 1:27 Family

    At the time I hit "Leave a Comment" it said there were already 197 comments. I thought that I should just skip it, but then I felt drawn to leave a thought…I'm in Kampala right now trying to bring home (USA) a severely malnourished girl with failure to thrive, an undiagnosed throat injury that leaves her unable to speak, she cannot walk and she's hiv+ with a cd4 count of 87. I thought people would roll out the red carpet for us. I thought people would want to "save" her. Didn't work that way at all.I think you may have heard that Americans trying to take home orphans from Uganda are stuck here right now while our embassy figures out the situation and starts issuing visas again.My baby girl is starving and writhing in pain. I've tried to bring God glory and honor each day of this journey but I have to be honest and say that I've failed. I've grumbled, I've moaned, I've cried. I'm out of money, patience, and energy. I'm on my 2nd round of bad food poisoning that is really…well… unpleasant. I was corresponding with the sweet Palmer family the other day and God gave us this thought… No matter what happens here, it doesn't change the Cross. It doesn't change the Resurrection. And it doesn't change my salvation. He's just asking me to follow Him.Oh, and it's not easy. I have 3 young children at home who miss me and I miss them deeply. I am living minute by minute. That's all I can handle. And our sweet Savior gives me what I need for that minute by minute.I am so sorry to hear of love lost. I'm a romance-novel-type-of-gal and I feel so awful that you had to endure that. That is a searing pain and I pray that your heart heals quickly.You touch many people with your life. You draw them to the Cross in a way that they can't turn from. You are a rock in the proverbial pond that causes many ripples. Many with come to eternal salvation through your life.The enemy is never going to stop attacking you on this earth. You are a mighty warrior for Jesus and he wants to see you suffer. God will only allow what He knows you can withstand.I don't pretend for one second to know your pain and your daily struggles. But I do know that there will be a grand party waiting for you one day in a place so wonderful our human minds can't even take it in. And there will be no sadness, no hunger, no dying, no crying.I will continue to pray for you to be showered with blessings.In Jesus precious Name,Amy

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01294669177701800822 Jamie Bauknight

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05358122990350275646 RuthAllie

    Thank you for sharing your heart with the World. You are an amazing Women even though it is tough, God gives us strength. I am moving to South Africa to work with the children there, I am a single Women. And I have been asking God through this whole Journey wouldnt this be easier if I had someone to do this with. You have rereminded me that I do! Our Heavenly Husband. THank you Katie. YOu are precious.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09363930850344380817 Guard Wife

    Thank you for this post. I have learned a great deal and challenged myself with very hard questions during the time I've been reading your blog.We will bring a child home from Ethiopia next month. I have a feeling that this is not an end to what I feel God is leading us to do, but a beginning. I'll keep ears and eyes and heart open and remember your words.Melindawww.5forHope.com

  • Anonymous

    Katie,Thank you so much for posting this! It is so true, and although I do not always follow Jesus' words you inspire me to do so. I am praying for you!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10555276937548990057 The Homemaker

    Anyone who would comment negatively about this post has not "counted the cost" of anything!As ministers of His Word, the cost is high, but I would "not give a sacrifice that cost me nothing" (in the words of David!)I thank you for your sacrifice, for your devotion and love for our Father. Maybe I will be able to swing by there sometime when I go visit my sister's orphanage in Tanzania!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05657702735264585210 Willis

    What an amazing post. But how much more an amazing God we serve! That He would call us to serve Him. My husband and I have been infertile for 10 years. He blessed us with an adopted son three years ago. We are about to take in some foster kids. I know it will not be easy. Your post was very encouraging. Heather

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08621273956209484735 Jay & Camille

    Great Post, Katie! Wonderfully expressed! Your words inspire us and cause us all to reconsider if we mean what we say!

  • http://annieology.com annieology

    Wow is all I have to say. I agree, whoever passed on you missed out. I love what you said about having a grace day. I so get that. Smile and nod. Have a blessed day.

  • Anonymous

    Katie,You can do it! You are doing well and remember that you are in the center of God’s will! I have 7 children and we have something called “Blanket Time” it is essentially a time where the children learn self control and sit on a blanket for a short time and are not supposed to get off. Of course they don’t stay in the middle at first they put their little pink toes right at the end and look at me. And then the moment comes when they go too far. *sigh* So we have a little saying in our family “why can’t you be in the center of the blanket?” Do you know what I mean? Not barely obeying, not obeying but seeing how much you can get away with, but totally obeying. Katie you are in the center of the blanket! You beautiful child of God! You are an amazing woman! God is pleased with you! Don’t become discouraged! Don’t look around to those that can’t understand because they haven’t fully pressed into God and perhaps never will. Keep living for Him! Keep your eyes on Him and He will give you all the approval you need. Your story is enough to change lives! Let your thread that is woven through this metanarrative be the brightest and shiniest that it can be!

  • Anonymous

    Katie,You can do it! You are doing well and remember that you are in the center of God’s will! I have 7 children and we have something called “Blanket Time” it is essentially a time where the children learn self control and sit on a blanket for a short time and are not supposed to get off. Of course they don’t stay in the middle at first they put their little pink toes right at the end and look at me. And then the moment comes when they go too far. *sigh* So we have a little saying in our family “why can’t you be in the center of the blanket?” Do you know what I mean? Not barely obeying, not obeying but seeing how much you can get away with, but totally obeying. Katie you are in the center of the blanket! You beautiful child of God! You are an amazing woman! God is pleased with you! Don’t become discouraged! Don’t look around to those that can’t understand because they haven’t fully pressed into God and perhaps never will. Keep living for Him! Keep your eyes on Him and He will give you all the approval you need. Your story is enough to change lives! Let your thread that is woven through this metanarrative be the brightest and shiniest that it can be!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09622402764239174669 Catie

    Powerful and convicting. Thank you for this.

  • Anonymous

    Having counted the cost, we can say "I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day." 2 Timothy 1:12You are prayed for.

  • Anonymous

    Katie – this sermon by Brian Habig in South Carolina makes me think of you, your precious girls, and the beautiful people you serve…http://www.downtownpres.org/sermon-downloads"Do you want to be healed?" from October, 2009-Claire

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15213913409012028317 Jenn

    Once again…you have brought volumes of truth to life in a single post. Thank you for speaking the heart of God!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13414526295669048539 Vashti

    Amazing! I dont even know what else to say.I live in South Africa working with AIDS orphans. We have 2 adopted sons and will be going for #3 in a few weeks time. The cost is great but the rewards are greater. God is such a good God and He is watching your every move, He loves you so much.I will be praying for you and those beautiful daughters….14!!!! Thats is amazing!You are an inspiration, thankyou for putting your life into words.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08562044773061891423 ASH

    Katie, I wanted to share what God has inspired me to do, through your post. I pray that He will work, not only in my "ordinary life," but in the ordinary lives of many others. You are right, something doesn't compute when Christ, the God in whom I say I believe, calls us to give up everything and carry a cross in order to follow Him, and yet here I am living in abundance and ignorance to the plight of the lost. I think it's time we, the American church, consider what is before us: A gaping incongruity. Over the next year, I pray God would open my eyes and the eyes of many others to the truth…the truth of what being a Christ-follower really means. Here's what God has inspired: http://www.faithdare.blogspot.comFellow readers of Katie's blog, I pray we take her challenge to heart and really COUNT THE COST of what we claim to believe. I dare you to join me on this journey at the above site.

  • Anonymous

    Katie~ keep on!

  • Anonymous

    Dear Katie, I'm not even sure how the Lord led me to your blog but I have been blessed by it. I myself have heard the Holy Spirit leading me in the last few years and the leading has not been easy. But, as always, obedience has lead to blessings. I am praying for you and your girls and praising His Name that he loves us in a way that passes all understanding.

  • Anonymous

    Katie! I'm left utterly speechless. As I read through the comments, I have nothing new to say that hasn't already been said. Beautiful heart, stay strong in Him. You are His bride! Trust Him forever! God bless you richly. I'm praying for you and your future. From you friend in Oklahoma City-Ariel Warren

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18249397590865683398 Amy

    thank you for helping me to SEE.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07474006787307647005 Cherie Werner

    Katie,I think what you are doing is wonderful but not easy. You don't want to slow down for any guy as God will provide you with a help mate who will lead and encourage you in your ministry/calling. As a mom I know you, as my daughters, are living radical lives for Jesus. It is so different from the safe comfortable path many in my generation choose. You are part of the generation rising up with selfless faith spoken about in Hosanna in the Highest. I have read your blog twice and my hert aches for you as it must be so hard to not have it all. You have given up so much to serve your King. I pray you have others pouring into your life as you are giving so much of yourself. Also I feel certain you would enjoy anything by Francis Chan http://www.google.com/search?aq=1&oq;=franis&sourceid;=chrome&ie;=UTF-8&q;=francis+chanI would be happy to send you his books if you would like just let me know where to. Also is there anything else I could send you in a care package?I am in awe of what you do and support your ministry. Blessings,Cherie

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12714801774603230387 Heidi Stork

    I love your sweet spirit…and the fact that you "say it like it is!" How refreshing that you aren't putting on a facade…but showing your broken heart. A heart that has broken for all you have "lost" or given up. But one that is even more broken for the children you clothe and bandage and feed and nurture…that have NO one else.I am challenged…I have cried with you and read each and every comment here. I think it's funny that we cling to our "comforts." Most of us are SO uncomfortable in our cushy American lives. I am always looking for something MORE. And I don't mean another television set, or a nicer car. I'm looking for purpose. For HIS will for my life. I am prayerfully going to fast this week and pray about my complacency…and for YOU Katie and your sweet babies and the monkey too! I will put the whole armor of God on and go to battle! I hope we do meet each other on this side of heaven…it would be an honor to wash your feet!Because of Jesus,Heidi, Tanner and Chloe

  • Anonymous

    I've been following your blog for a while, and I have really enjoyed and learned alot from it, but NEVER have I been this convicted. Thank-you. I can't thank you enough. I only just turned 17 last month, and I really have no idea what I can do, but I'm going to talk to Jesus. Alot. I know He will show me my part in His plan. I know it's going to be hard, but I know He will never give me something greater than I can handle and He will be with me all the way through. I admire your strength and keep you in my prayers. A sister from SC.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you for challenging us. I don't try to think that I know how you feel being overseas and having to break up with your boyfriend, but almost exactly a year ago I felt God telling me to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years. I loved him so much, but I had to be obedient. It has been hard, but God has grown me so much over this past year. He's doing beautiful things in your life! Your obedience is incredible! Praying for you sister!

  • Anonymous

    We have not met but I read your blog consistently. My heart aches for the pain you feel and for the cost you have paid. But I know that there is peace in that pain..peace in following God's will in your life. Thorns in our side (as Paul writes about) serve to ever remind us of Him. I have a thorn in my side that has remained, despite prayer, despite everything. I know that God has placed it for a purpose and in Him time will make it beautiful as in all things.You have served as such an inspiration for many of us, myself included. I cannot wait to show this post to my husband. We have much to decide! Pray for us, if you have the leading to. I will be praying for you, sweet sister in Christ.Amblin

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10494305884228697891 Divine Mrs D

    I've never been to your blog before, but I wanted to comment. This is something that has always hurt my heart. I have struggled with it for a long time, but my husband looks at it very differently. I need to pray that God change his heart or help us find a path that pleases Him that my husband can more easily understand? I don't know. I just don't know…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16642151794037732541 jhaubold

    Katie, I don't know you, I linked to your blog from my RA's, but I would like to say thank you. Thank you for your conviction and for your willingness to follow Jesus. Reading this has been convicting and inspiring for my in many ways. You will be in my prayers. Thank you. -Kristen

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01511113259416899113 For His Glory

    I believe Christians in America love their comfort, I wish only for a minute that Christians here can get a taste of what it means to spend themselves…By God's Grace I too am learning that this side of heaven is meant for the unbeliever's comfort, not believers!! Will we get to heaven one day and show him all the sea shells we collected, or all the trophey's from sports, or the great savings account we've aquired?? YUK! YUK! YUK! Oh God continue to strip us and use us for your glory!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11264845015930907294 Missy @ It’s Almost Naptime

    Oh, Katie. Do you realize that there are tons of us moms out here who pray that our little girls grow up to be just like you?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15157198858039588210 Marti

    Convicting truth. It's so easy to read through the Bible and let your eyes wash over the words without allowing the Holy Spirit to work in you. Thank you for encouraging all of us to take God's word for what it is…100%, to the point, truth…even when it's gut-wrenchingly hard to read it.

  • Anonymous

    You are amazing through God. Thank you

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06123085494840719313 wpusey

    • James 1:27 – Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.• Deuteronomy 10:17-18 – “For the Lord your God is the God of gods and Lord of lords. He is the great God, the mighty and awesome God, who shows no partiality and cannot be bribed. He ensures that orphans and widows receive justice. He shows love to the foreigners living among you and gives them food and clothing.• Isaiah 1:17 – Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.• Psalm 82:3-4 – “Give justice to the poor and the orphan; uphold the rights of the oppressed and the destitute. Rescue the poor and helpless; deliver them from the grasp of evil people.• Proverbs 23:10-11 – Don’t cheat your neighbor by moving the ancient boundary markers; don’t take the land of defenseless orphans. For their Redeemer is strong; he himself will bring their charges against you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17841194926859539501 Roxanne

    Dear Katie, thank you for sharing from your heart that is clearly wearing Our Lord so well and for speaking the truth. I recognize well the voice and the call of which you write so eloquently, for I have answered my Beloved's voice when He asked if I would give Him my all. It is hard, it is costly, but living for Him is worth the sacrifice, and you reminded me anew of this today. Though I am not where you are, I am praying with and for you.

  • Anonymous

    Katie, you are truely a woman of God! You are an inspiration to me and to a lot of other people. You have a wonderful way of expressing your feelings onto your blog. I had a hard time reading this one through the tears. I feel your pain and know that you are being prayed for daily. Thank you for doing what the Lord has called you to do.Scott

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04833972445833627503 Bekah

    Hey Katie You dont know me, but im 17 and I KNOW God wants me to move away from my family, friends, this country, and live for Him in some way or another. This is hard for me to say this, the way i want to, but im taking a whack at it. I have been reading your blog for a long time now and this is my first comment so…I was working on a world view paper today and i was looking for verses to use in my paper and came across Luke 9 and 14. The part about Jesus not having a home and the man He turned away. I didnt really get it till i read it from you today. I have been to Guatemala and want to do the 11 months 11 country thing just to know which country I shoud spend the most of my life in. but My fear has been that I am gonna miss out on my older brothers and friends weddings, kids, graduations, deaths, and importantly lives. I, with your help, have come to accept/realize this is gonna happen and I need to embrace it. even procratinating, I was meant to read this blog today!coincidently, or not so coincidently, I also just got bak yesterday from a church retreat and the guest speaker had all the people who knew they were called by God to go into mission work or ministry come to the front of the room by the stage. Shaking, I made my way, about 25 out of 300 or so stood with me. He told us to follow our youth pastor to hav a talk. we went to a nursery. as soon as he started talking my nerves cooled. He told me exactly what I needed to hear, "you dont need to know what you are going to do in the future, but that you are willing. and pray!" By you sharing your hard message I am no longer scared. I want to be just like you. do what you do. adoption. I know I am sounding like that woman, but I will give up comfort, everything. I have been shooting up prayers for you everytime I think of you! keep doing what you are doing! i hav been rereading this a dozen times and when i post this im gonna realize something i left out. sorry this is lengthy and I hope to meet you some day!desperately trying to finish this paper due tomorrow,Rebekah Raine

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07120808456689786902 Taylor Lynn

    Gosh, with 229 other comments I certainly don't expect you to respond.My incredible stepmom just sent me a beautiful message of encouragement, that I really needed just now. At the end she left me a link to your blog with a note that read: "I want to share with you a blog of a young girl who has the love and spirit inside as you do. When you have time fully check out her blog…what an awesome brave girl. She reminds me of you." I've spent the better part of an hour reading what you have to say; thank you so much for reminding me that I'm loved by a Heavenly Father who would never hurt me the way my dad has.For as long as I can remember, my dream has been to go to Uganda. I've realized yet again that such a dream is far from unattainable.

  • Anna

    I'm 16 years old.God is calling me to Africa. To live in Ghana.I've "rationalized" with God, saying that I'll go once I finish college… that I'd even finish college a year early to get to Africa sooner. That once I find the man of my dreams, I'll go. That once I'm prepared and educated, I'll go. That once I have 100% of the funds, I'll go.But now, I know that no rationalizing is allowed.Now, as soon as I graduate high school, I'm going. For good.-Anna

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16315606530051815615 Joy

    You are accurately "preaching" Jesus' heart and we all need to examine our lives against the scripture. As you explain, it is clear – there is no gray area when you follow Jesus. We have so distorted the gospel – the heart of Jesus. I want you to know that your last post greatly impacted us. We read it with our children and prayed that the Lord would show us how He wanted to use us now – to live out the gospel without looking out for our comfort and safety. The next morning we woke up to an email about a refugee woman and her daughter who were in great need and who have the hardest history we have heard in the 12 years of working with refugees. We knew then God was answering our prayer and we needed to take them in. God is using your heart and writings to impact far more people than you will ever know.

  • Anonymous

    Katie, Thank you for allowing your heart to spill. There is nothing more beautiful than an open, honest soul–even when breaking or especially when breaking. You said it best when you quoted CS Lewis, "He isn't SAFE, But He is GOOD, and HE IS THE KING!!!" Thus making Him worth all sacrifice. Thank you for challenging my thinking that the Scripture is very literal and I should take it and apply it to my own life as such. To you whom much is given, much has been required. When I read your blog posts, I don't hear a woman whining/complaining about what she doesn't have. Rather I hear her saying "Look this faith you have is very serious, this salvation you hold–continue to work it out in every area of your life, this God of ours is beyond my comprehension–yet His love is very simple, His ways are far better than ours", and mostly what I hear is "I fell in love with HIM, and that changes EVERYTHING." That love relationship is a beautiful thing. Oh that He would give me a small fraction of the faith that you hold, my friend. HE understands your broken heart even better than you. How He weeps over those who choose not to be in relationship with Him. May He wrap His arms around you tonight and hold you close. Curl up in His lap and just sit for awhile. And tonight I wonder, how many of us are moved in our hearts, but FAIL to ACT with our lives? Am I? Will I? Emily Winkle

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14216697845934961718 andrew

    Katie,Thanks for everything you said in your post (but everyone else has already said that). I want to especially thank you for prompting me to listen to the "Radical" series by David Platt. I have been meaning to do this for months but kept putting it off. Your encouragement finally caused me to listen to David's teaching…. and I'm so glad I did. I should have listened when I first heard of Brookhill. Anyway, I can only encourage everyone else who reads this blog to listen to these teachings as well.. and then put them into practice.Thank you…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14311380211905071308 Kelli

    Your post does what so many of us do not want to consider and/or feel. We as Americans want to sit comfortably in our pews Sunday morning, hear a nice sermon, be out on time, converse with others and head home feeling good about ourselves and our relationship with Christ.If we honestly look at God's Word we will see how uncomfortable christianity can be. But it is not for the comfort of this world that we seek Him but for an eternity with Him.Thank you for making me uncomfortable. Thank you for being unwilling to compromise God's Word.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04993655845526460660 khull05

    Thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing your heart. The lessons the Lord is teaching you about His all sufficiency will be so important, even if he does bring a husband to you. Even in marriage-great ones-there are places in our heart that only Christ can fill. For you, knowing that before you are married will make you a much stronger and more Godly wife.Continued prayers for you and your sweet family!

  • Anonymous

    So crazy – I just stumble accidentally upon the blog of the woman you mentioned here. She links to your blog.

  • http://bluecottonmemory.wordpress.com bluecottonmemory

    My oldest son commented one time that he thought God meant for him to lead a single life because He hadn't met "the" girl yet. He was in college. Just when he gave up the search, God sent the young woman who would be his wife, a help mate. As a matter of fact, they went to Uganda on a month long mission trip.I once prayed for something I desparately wanted, a second child. Someone told me to pray that if that wasn't in His plan to take that desire out of my heart. So I did – I relinquished that. When I had sacrificed my desire, my dream – that's when God moved.Your post has been a blessing – God called us last year to move our family after 18 years, leave my oldest son behind – and move to a mission field that is my husband's hometown. It's not comfortable – but it is where God wants us to be – It's not Uganda but it feels like a foreign land. However, we have to sacrifice the comfortable for the uncomfortable.I pray that God sends you the helpmate He created for you:)

  • Christy

    Katie,What an amazing post. I must say I was in your same shoes except I denied the Lord and married my now husband but H.S sweetheart at the time. I have missed many opportunities b/c I followed my heart and not God's will. If I might be so bold to say that in a way I am jealous of you b/c now I am living my life hoping God will open a door for me again someday. I have an unsaved husband who has no love for mission work…I pray for you and want u to know you are a true inspiration for many! Thanks for denying yourself to do the Lord's work :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10993641003698445056 MyMomBlogs

    I was directed to your blog from a friend of mine… And I have to say that I can relate… a little bit at least. After 4 biological children, my husband and I became foster parents almost 5 years ago…. in 3 weeks and 4 days it will be 5 years ago that we brought home the first of our "Littles"…And then their baby brother was born… And we took him, too.Then their biological parents' rights were terminated… And we decided to adopt them.And people asked us if we were crazy…And then 28 days later their baby sister was born… And we took her, too.And they KNEW we were crazy…And we knew that we would adopt her from the instant we knew that we could.And people began to emphatically call us crazy…. And we knew they were right! We WERE crazy…. Crazy about "our" kids!!! All 8 of them! Here in suburbia where the "average" number of children per family is 2… And we had 8.We finalized our adoption just over 2 years ago….And found out less than 4 months later that their biological mom was pregnant again… And knew immediately that we would accept that baby into our family as well…And again, people called us crazy…. And we knew it was still true!We're still waiting, and wading, through government red tape to finalize our adoption of our youngest son…. And she'll probably get pregnant again… And we'll take that one, too. Because we ARE crazy!! CRAZY in love with our children… CRAZY in love with knowing that God has put them into our lives for His reasons alone…And going into this we, too, thought that God was "probably" only calling us into this "phase" of life for a short time… And we have given up our comfort level for our children… But we wouldn't change it for anything in the world! And I know, that at the end of the day, when your heart is hurting and your arms ache to hold him… That you KNOW that you are where God wants you…And if anyone calls you crazy, then just smile and say, "… Yep… I'm CRAZY about God and CRAZY about my kiddos… He knew EXACTLY what I need and He provides it more intimately than I could ever imagine…"I LOVE this crazy life!!! http://www.the9ofmine.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00062510587240540821 Alyssa

    Dear KatieI found your blog a couple months ago, and every time I read it I'm reminded of "The Cost." While I live in "comfy America," I believe the Lord uses different circumstances for different people to bring them to the end of themselves. Some days I just long for heaven, but we have been put here to know Christ and serve him where we are. I think that one thing Christians often fail to grasp is that joining Jesus= signing up for suffering . . . a suffering to be embraced. You don't know me and I don't know you, but I'm praying for you. Christ unites us. What a day that will be when we are all united for good. -Alyssa

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06431317165733896311 Missionary Hicks

    Katie–I feel both challenged and encouraged by your blog. Challenged because God's Word shined on my life always challenges me to be more like Him. And encouraged because I am always encouraged by His faithfulness to us, and His love for us.I pray that this time of trial will be used to grow you even stronger in the faith you already share so unashamedly. Thank you for sharing honestly what the Lord has spoken to you.

  • Patti Rowe

    I discovered your blog on facebook thru a friend. What an amazing story you have to tell. I am anxious to read more. I will pray for you and your dedication to serve God. God bless you and ALL your children.Patti RoweHendersonville TN

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14429719023439694686 Alea Nikki and Natalie

    Dang. Thank you. That just wrecked me…in a good way…seriously though. I started to get really sad when I read this, but then I realized that I was sad because I am not giving my EVERYTHING. It begs the question… What are our own comforts? What are we holding onto and not giving to the Lord? Because of your faithfulness you are a huge inspiration to many, many people and the words you speak hold weight because they are backed by action. Thank you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04402741116485559029 WADE COOPER

    Thanks for the speaking the truth of the gospel. I have much to learn. when God called, you answered!!! We can all learn from your example to follow Jesus, the true savior!!!

  • http://starlightwriter.wordpress.com Diana

    Thanks for sharing so deeply from your heart. God bless you and your ministry!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08719959847208171653 Acceptance with Joy

    Sending you some sunshine and a whole lot of prayers!!! I am sharing with you the sunshine award even though I know you haven't the time to deal with it. I wanted to tell people about your blog and it's my way of getting people to hop on over. :-)Angela

  • Anonymous

    Francis Chan's book– Crazy Love — read it! l,e

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07748067347594325862 Julie

    Thank you for the "cut to the core" reminder.

  • Debi

    I'm not exactly sure how I came upon your blog, but it is definitely one of the few meaningful ones I have found and keep on my computer. I have been a missionary with my husband and four sons now for 18 years..you, my sister, are an incredible blessing to this 40 something year old Mama. Thank you for loving Jesus so much. You will NEVER regret that….not ever. There are always hard times, especially in the ministry, but knowing that you are in the center of God's perfect will for your life is one of the most rewarding things you will experience this side of Heaven. I love you as my sister in Christ, and it is a privilege to lift you up before our Lord who loves you like crazy….

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09878145582788717026 Tania

    You are showing us, in your life, what Jesus truly meant when He said, "Take up your cross and follow me." The closer I grow to Jesus, the more embarrassed I become at my extravagant American lifestyle. We, as Americans, are the richest of the rich. What will Jesus truly say to most of us when we get to Heaven. It scares me. Yes, I believe I am saved and belong to Him, but, am I doing all I can for Him. No! Right now I am just praying and asking Him for guidance!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03552944942986801747 Blessed Mom of Four, Now Five

    Oh my Katie, I have just spent the past hour crying so hard I could hardly breathe, and I read your post.My son left for the military today, and I am reminded that there is a cost for freedom.We must count the cost for anything we do worthwhile.I'm on my way to church, but I plan to listen to that sermon.Perhaps, in a day or two, when I've stopped crying about missing my son, and there's less "snot" in my ears. ;)

  • yeltonfamily

    Katie,We have been following your blog for a couple of months now. As I read, I am in awe of how God is showing Himself through you. We long to see God work in these ways. I believe it is only when we totally lay everything down, that we will be totally filled with Him. We are praying about coming to visit you in October. Keep trusting God and you will not regret it!

  • Anonymous

    this was beautiful

  • Katie

    Dear Katie, I am so very very sorry. I know that me saying "I'm sorry" does not help relieve the pain and I wish I could. I will be praying for you, and I mean that.I just found your blog today and it has been amazing to read it. I feel as though I am looking at myself in the future in some ways. I am 19 years old and have been telling my family for years that I want to do what you are doing; this is what God has called me to do! You put my thoughts into words so much better than I have been able to. I just want to say a hearty AMEN to everything you said. I pray that God will allow me to follow in your footsteps soon.THANK YOU so much for following Jesus. It is absolutely inspiring.In Christ,Katie R.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07166993353210205879 Alison

    I commented on this post already, but came across this quote that Amy Carmichael pasted in the cover of her Bible and thought you might like it:"These children are dear to Me. Be a mother to them, and more than a mother. Watch over them tenderly, be just and kind. If thy heart is not large enough to embrace them, I will enlarge it after a pattern of My own. If these young children are docile and obedient, bless Me for it; if they are froward, call upon Me for help; if they weary thee, I will be thy consolation; if thou sink under thy burden, I will be thy Reward."

  • Greg

    Devastating my comfort. Thank you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16669724441280436634 michelle

    Amazing my sister.. Amazing.. what a sacrificial servant you are .. All Glory and Power to the only One True God..Christ Jesus.. I will pray for God to open the door for me to come to you some day and meet you.. thank you my sister for sharing your heart.. I long for time to spend where you are and I know Gods timing is perfect.. a teacher friend of mine will be coming soon to get her children and when she does she will be looking for youher name is Staci Caldwell .. Grace and Peace to you my Sister.. michelle

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10891882015620865286 Cheri

    Katie, may God use your example to take us all into those 'uncomfortable' places that HE wants us to go. I struggle with the American 'dream' and culture the longer I live here and would probably very easily say the same words as the woman did to you. But in all honesty, I don't know how many days I may last or if I could even say good-bye to many of the things you have…but I want to believe I could, with God's help. I'm in a different place in life – married with two teens…but we take our first step outside of our bubble this June when we go to Haiti to help at an orphanage. You inspire me to continue to listen to God's call in my life…and that of my families'. Thank you for letting God speak through you.Cheri

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00487893990781399211 Katie

    Dear Katie,I found your blog a while back, was very inspired and began following it, but only now am I commenting. I don't even know if you ever get a chance to read these.I just want you to know that you DO inspire many of us…open our minds to hear the Lord's calling on our lives in ways that we weren't open to hearing before. That calling doesn't always look like yours, though. I've known for years my calling wasn't to go overseas, no matter how much I might want to. Gradually God showed me His heart for the lost and hurting here in the US, for the same church that has largely forgotten the poor and orphans has also crippled and burnt millions in our own nation who might otherwise be powerful workers for God. Those people are whom God has called me to, for He loves Americans just as much as He loves Ugandans! And there are many, many ways of being poor and an orphan…our country is filled with orphan children who have never experienced a true parents love. And there are many grown-up orphans who are still lost without their Abba Father.I know that, from your point of view, you see the terrible lack over there and you know that many are ignoring God's call on their life. It's obvious that the workers there are few. Rest assured that the true workers here are few, too. There are so very, very few who are willing to count the cost while living here…that it requires not caring when people in the grocery stores think you're crazy for praying for a stranger…it requires giving up your own agenda of what you'd like to do for fun and volunteer at the nursing home to show those dying there that God loves them (as He's asked me to do)…that it requires the willingness to endure those same sort of "you're crazy" looks when you do what God has called you to do, except you can't leave it behind and get on a plane. You have to keep living it out.Many of commented here that they do not know how to give up everything when they're married. I wish I could assure those people that God is not calling them to leave their husbands. The covenant of marriage is sacred. Peter had a wife…he did not break his covenant. God's heart breaks for many around the world, in every nation and every tongue. Some He desires to uproot and move to another area of the world for planting, and others He desires to shine brightly in the darkness that surrounds where they are already planted. For there is darkness everywhere. And if everyone godly gave up their lives in the US and moved to third world nations, then there would be no one here to minister the love of God to the unsaved who are left. And there are so very, very many in our nation who have never seen the true love of God in a way they can comprehend. We have been such hypocrites.Be encouraged, and be blessed, Katie, for God is moving amongst His people all over the world, showing us what it truly means to live for Him and positioning us exactly where He would have us be for the finale of His plan. It will be glorious!

  • http://www.momof3darlings.wordpress.com Dana-from chaos to Grace

    I found your blog through a friend of mine and I am just in AWE! Oh wow….how I loved to read your post!I'm one of the ones that would say "OH SEND ME! I'LL DO IT!" but deep down I'm afraid of the cost. I have a husband, I have 3 children, but honestly, I know what I'm called to do, and I'm in the waiting. I've heard God say almost in an AUDIBLE voice while I was enjoying a hot shower "Would you give this up?" And my first response is "ALWAYS!" I loved this post. It's completely honest and I thank you for putting your heart out like that. It's beautiful and refreshing.I teach teenagers at church and I've been told "I love the unlovely". I'm not sure if that was a compliment at the time or not, but in my heart that's what God has called me to do "love the unlovely".Oh how my heart cries out to you, and I will be praying and following as well. And if ever given the chance, I'll go….pack up my family, sell all I have, and go.

  • Cathleen

    Thank you for sharing your heart. Every word you wrote is truth from our Savior! You are a amazing woman of God! May God's peace flow over you as you continue to live in His will serving His children.

  • http://thedomesticzoo.com/ emily

    thank you ♥

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11623249642106579637 Rae

    Katie, I am printing "your heart" and posting it in my home. Though your words were not new…God's word came alive thorough your experience. Thank you for sharing, thank your for living as a Disciple. I hope that you will feel this as a positive comment…CHALLENGE received. I ask the Holy Spirit to take over from here and MOVE my heart to where God calls.with love,

  • Konni

    May the Lord use your blog to spur us to true action wherever He leads us! Not just "doing" more for Him, but responding out of a deep love for Him. I just recently finished reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. He mentions a lot about Lukewarm "Christians" . . . and the fact that there really isn't such a thing! We are so deceived! Thank you, Katie, for sharing from your heart. May the Lord continue to give you the grace to serve Him wholeheartedly. And to God be the glory!

  • Anonymous

    Hi KatieI'm an avid follower of your blog and hugely inspired by you, your faith and your work I am praying for you from Liverpool.Katie x

  • Cris

    I heard something on AFR that made me think of this post. It went kind of like this: "Some of us are called by God to be mothers, teachers, or missionaries. ALL of these are high callings. NONE of them are our highest calling. Our ultimate purpose is to praise and honor God." I pray we can all support each other, despite the different paths God has set us on.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10978596402333193021 Lori

    Your post was amazing, of course, and perfectly timed to the need of my soul today. Even better, though — reading the comments of hundreds of other Christians who also want to live the Kingdom. We have to remember we're not alone, and let that give us courage to do what Jesus requires. Thank you, Katie, for starting this conversation.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12869485822394320083 Stephanie Peters

    Thank you! I don't have words, but the Lord has spoken through your post. It takes me back to brokenness for my girls in Zambia when I got home, and the drive to live radically abandoned to Christ. How the world pulls me in a little at a time to steal my passion and heart before I realize it. Thanks for snapping me out of it. Focusing on Jesus and action is next. Sisters in Christ, Stephanie

  • Julie Diane

    WOW! I heard saw your story at an adoption conference today and was so touched by your selflessness and beauty. You are truly touching lives – not just those of the children you serve, but those of believers everywhere who are inspired by your work to "walk the walk" rather than just "talk the talk". Thank you and May God Bless YOU!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10148011376191343148 Holly Southerland

    Yes. Jesus is worth it.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01880543678544803081 Erin Quinn

    "I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare."C.S. LewisMere Christianity

  • Katie

    Katie,Your post has been on my heart and mind for a few days now. Thank you for being so open with us, I needed to read what you wrote. You see, I am in the opposite position of you. I started working with my "kids" when I was 12 (I'm 25 now) fully expecting to not live in the USA as soon as I was old enough to move on my own. As life moved forward, GO has been on my heart so strongly. A year and a half ago I was single and had planned to move to Ethiopia and see what God had for me. Instead of another country, God had another life planned for me. I am now an army wife, and while I love my husband dearly, this was not what I had planned for my future! However, I can very clearly see God's hand in my life and leading me down this unexpected path. My husband and I are truly called to minister in the military community and try to help heal some of the wounds this specific group of people has. It hurts sometimes to think of the life that the other me would have lived but I know that I would not have the joy in it that you do, if I was not following God. I pray that God continues to show His tangible love to you and romance you in a way only He can.With love,Katie the Army Wife :)

  • Anonymous

    Well written. Unless God has called you to have a servant's heart, those who were given other talents will never understand.We are moving to china to teach in an international school and spread His love. Everyone in my family is devastated, to the point that they won't talk to us. yes we are taking our 6 year old adopted daughter with us… I think that is the root problem. We also are not doing what they think we should do. You will be in my prayers as I continue to pray for God's guidance and love in our decision.

  • Anonymous

    Much of what you wrote is what I have thought when my sister is critical of me babysitting grandchildren and "not having a life", getting to travel as she does, and "being taken advantage of". It is something I feel God has called me to do but to word it to anyone would make me sound sanctimonious so I say little. I sense she and others think I'm crazy to sacrifice so much and perhaps it makes them feel guilty. The closeness we (my husband supports me in the babysitting and since he is retired and only working parttime, he does much of the care also) have to our grandkids is undescribable. The vacations,uncluttered house, and leisure time I will look forward to in eternity. pam

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13990536060095009583 Josh Powers

    Your words are so inspiring to me. I leave for the peace corps in January of 2011, and I know this is only the first step in the plans that God has for me in the field of missionary work. God Bless.

  • http://www.pattilacy.com/blog patti lacy

    Dear Katie,I learned of you yesterday through your sisters with 147 million orphans. Oh that God will plant a story in me so I can share your journey in my work.Your blog is on my roll and will inspire, convict, break my heart, piece it back together.Patti Lacyauthor of An Irishwoman's Tale What the Bayou Saw The Rhythm of Secretswww.pattilacy.com/blog

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12646017317849015262 Keith Duff

    Amen and Amen.To me, it comes down to delight vs. duty. Do we delight in God? If so, then we will do whatever He calls us to do. If we serve out of duty or obligation, then we'll grow weary and ultimately do simply what we want to do. Be encouraged. Delight in the savior. He is doing great works through your willing heart.Keith DuffVillage Bible Church, Sugar Grove, IL

  • Anonymous

    I came across your blog through a friend and must say I am so encouraged at your act of faith, in obedience- no matter the cost… and what is even more rewarding is in knowing that HE is MORE than enough for all of our needs when we surrender and follow HIm. Thanks for the reminder. It challenges me to take leaps of faith regarding missions in Brazil. Keep up the good work and though we may never meet here on this earth… ONE day, in heaven, I will get to meet you and your beautiful family! Encouraged by your act of faith! To Him be the glory!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03715324871432811928 Coral Christine

    Dear Katie, I'm only 13, and I do really wish I could be like you. You amaze me! Just to see how much you give up for God. Its like a love and adventure novel everytime I read your blog. I just got make from Africa about two weeks ago, we adopted 3 kids from Ethiopia. 3 kids and what I saw are nothing compared to what you do or see.You are like this hero to me, a real follower of Christ. I look up to you! Your my true role model.All4Christ, Coral

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17364594488475565509 Rita

    your line: "nothing is sacrifice in light of eternity with Christ." is exactly what i needed to hear today. the Lord has been trying to get me to just let go of so much control over things of money, time, efforts, etc. and this is really what He has been trying to say to me. Thank you! BTW: i'm a first time reader, and will be continuing to follow your "story" that He is unfolding in your life.~Rita

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17195933657619122165 Jessi Hacker

    this is amazing, so blessed for reading it! Wow!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12826271371136998634 Roger Bachman

    Bless you, I agree. Praying for you. I feel your pain.

  • http://www.chalkinscriptions.wordpress.com Chalk Inscriptions

    You didn't ramble – thank you for sharing your heart. My family are 2nd generation missionaries to Uganda and have adopted numerous children and so I love your heart. Your sacrifice is beyond anything that most people can comprehend. We are in the middle of an Ethiopian adoption and I don't believe it is our last. You are beautiful and creating quite a legacy!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09878145582788717026 Tania

    I just read this quote this morning and was reminded of your post…"There are too many over-fed, under-motivated Christians hiding behind the excuse that God has not spoken to them. They are waiting to hear voices or see dreams – all the while living to make money, to provide for their future, to dress well and have fun." Floyd McClung. But, that's the American dream! Is that wrong? Well, why did God bless this nation SO richly? Is it because we deserve it more than the person living in Uganda, Niger, North Korea or China? Or, were we blessed to be a blessing? What will God say to us, as Christians, when He sees our nice 401K plans, retirement accounts, furnished homes and pretty wardrobes, yet we have little to show in the way of bringing the Gospel to those who have never heard it? Each of us has been called…Jesus spoke to each of us when He gave the Great Commission. Our greatest desire should be the glory of His name in all the Earth. And how does that desire come about…we ask God for it. We urgently desire to totally die to every single selfish passion in us. He will be faithful to change us; to give us a passion for His Son's glory and for the nations. Katie…you show that truth to us every time you post. You are an example for each of us! Thank you!

  • http://shepherdsgrace.wordpress.com shepherdsgrace

    Truth that brings tears…use us Lord, use me…He is with you, Kate and you ARE NOT wasting your life…may He satisfy you every moment in every way til the day He calls you home or He returns in triumph to carry you away…blessings. love.

  • Anonymous

    Katie, I have followed your blog for quite some time now and am always amazed at how you can put difficult messages in such a beautiful way. You have touched me. I have been contemplating adoption for quite some time — contemplating because of the fear I had. The little girl I love is from Uganda — and I must put my faith and trust in the Lord that He will make it all work for His glory. Thank you Katie.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17868217485978070213 JRudy8403

    I must say that this is one of the most raw, real, and honest tellings of a faith journey that I have happened across in a long long time. I am glad to have read it and I am glad you were willing to count the cost and go. You bring more joy than you will ever know to those children and to the very heart of God.Even having never met you my heart goes out for your trials because I know the life of faith is no easy journey (and I know very well that I may someday be in your shoes in a far corner of the world with nothing and no one).I will keep you in my prayers that God will continue to work in mighty ways through you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08453989032709820386 Nathan

    Thank you for exhorting with oft-ignored Scripture.There is hurt in many places of the world, and there is need in many more.In the Scriptures there is Solomon and there is Hosea. Solomon lived in great wealth while Hosea was to marry a prostitute.We all must obey the convictions of the Lord, and the Lord does not ask the same thing of all. And some step out to do what is not God's will for them–they will not find peace until they submit in reality, for there is a tug that is of the world, and there is a tug that is of the Lord.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03746787843582356037 I am the Clay

    Katie,As always I am deeply, deeply moved and touched….There is a cost to discipleship as you have pointed out… there is a cross to pick up and follow Him after….This past summer God laid a passage on my heart during a time of deep pain & hurt….. I think it's fitting for you as well, and you most likely have read it and pondered the depth of it's meaning:" For your Maker is your husband. The Lord of hosts is His name. And your redeemer is the Holy One of Israel. For the Lord has called *you* like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, like a youthful wife when you were refused." Isaiah 54:5 & 6May God continue to be not only your Maker, your God, your Redeemer, but truly your Husband, Your Boaz.. your Kinsmen Redeemer.In Christ,gloria

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12138827758005078186 Ryan and Ashlie

    Perfectly Said! The week I read this blog post is the same week I read Chapter 4 of Crazy Love by Francis Chan, about being Lukewarm. You were both telling me God's word at the same time, that's when I know God was trying to get my attention!!!! Thank you Katie!!! I cannot wait to meet you on July 24th. I'm leading the trip through Visiting Orphans!!Hugs, Hugs, Hugs,Ashliewww.fulmerstory.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13197547967983528145 Real Simple

    you are amazing. i am humbled by your service. we are reading a book by francis chan called crazy love and he writes about the lukewarm christian…you are far from it. he uses your scripture references. Ashlie Fulmer will hug you for me and tell you are JESUS WITH SKIN ON! May i encourage you, through prayer! my blog is real simple. blessings,betsy

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12188862389705764591 Caroline

    Sweet sister, Praying for you right now. Read your post early yesterday morning and it has been impacting me and my circle of friends since. So much love is cheering you on today. I don't know you, but I love you and will be praying for you. Blessings, blessings my sweet, bold, sister. "If you were any braver, you'd be a lioness" Caroline

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09176730853175967320 Christine

    I watched the video with my husband Katie. You are right– the message is such an inspiration! I read your blog to my kids when we do our devotional time! I would really love to find out if it is possible to come out for a visit. Thank you ahead of time!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05287887824607954745 Mom Of Many

    Sweet, sweet girl,I am so proud you. YOu are an eloquent communicator and Jesus shines through in what you are writing. I feel so blessed to call you friend. I love you Mom of Many. I pray that God comforts you and ministers to your heart. You are a treasure!!Much love, Linny xo

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11206008334584994701 Kristen

    Wow…you deeply inspire and encouarge me. Thank you for your faithfulness and obedience to God…

  • Hondomamma

    Hello Katie-I work with orphans in Honduras and just wanted to send you a note of encouragement. I don't think people truly understand how hard the work can be and how much sacrifice is involved 24/7… but God knows and I think he is smiling when HE watches you and your work. I pray for you often and just know you are not alone in your struggles. God's plan is always perfect. Thank you for following HIM first and foremost especially when it hurts so much.Blessings,Kymm in Honduras

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11499433787988289609 ♪~Jenn~♪

    I was raised in a Christian home…spent hours and hours every week at church doing church-ish things. As a child/teenager I was soooo full of frustration and anger. Why? Because what I saw all around me was NOT what I believed being a Christian was. AT.ALL. I saw lies, hypocrisy, people living in their comfy bubbles preaching peace and love and acceptance…faith and trust..but only a handful of people actually walked the walk. if that. It mad me sick to my stomach. even as a little girl I could sense the imbalance, searched for a way to articulate it.You are inspiring to me in that you walk the walk while you talk the talk. you don't try to candy coat your experience. being a mother is hard work. Sacrifice is woven through every hour of every day… Following ones heart and trusting is beyond most peoples abilities (why is this?) what happened to faith?! Faith…grace….hope…these are the things that make it. the gifts wrapped in love that we have been given to help us through challenge after challenge. be strong…you have what you need♥

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09018660919796496888 Stacey

    Katie,God bless you and your family, your girls. THANK YOU for saying the hard words. THANK YOU for counting the cost… and for urging us on to do the same.Ian & Stacey in Scotland

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14338356511622073158 Kelly P

    Well spoken :-) Keep it coming, friend.

  • http://www.myspace.com/live_for_him06 Amber

    Wow, your life is such a powerful testimony of the True Gospel! God has recently been tugging at my heart with all of these things that you are talking about through reading Francis Chan's book Crazy Love. I believe we have truly missed the whole concept of what following The Way really is and means for our personal lives! I can't imagine how much pain, strife, and annoyances you are dealing with but I know at the same time what blessings those same things that Satan would like to curse us with are to you! You are experiencing Christ's power, suffering and love in ways that those unwilling to give up their comfort and "control" will NEVER experience even a microscopic portion of in their lifetime! Thank you for your heart for God and your willingness to step out in faith. You have no idea how much of an eternal impact you are making this very second!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05678381997091375270 Paula

    WOW! Incredible!! I am humbled!!

  • http://openid.aol.com/Pnkcountrygrl03 Pnkcountrygrl03

    Wow… I actually heard you story on a misssion trip to guatemala and today I found your blog. Katie you are amazing and have some real strength. I am sixteen and praying that god will take over my life in such a way he has yours. You and your girls will be in my prayers countinuously. Thank you for you inspiring life.Kate Simpson

  • Anonymous

    Wow… I actually heard you story on a misssion trip to guatemala and today I found your blog. Katie you are amazing and have some real strength. I am sixteen and praying that god will take over my life in such a way he has yours. You and your girls will be in my prayers countinuously. Thank you for you inspiring life.Kate Simpson

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14313484583074857115 Jo

    Katie.I found this on accident, but it really stirred up something in my heart. And it bothers me because there's been a dream in me to serve the poor and unloved for so long and now that I'm "old enough" I'm starting to realize how much it costs. And I don't know if I'm willing to pay. Thank you for obeying Jesus in caring for those precious orphans and in writing this blog. Thank you for reminding me to look beyond my selfish little life and see what God is doing in the world. What really got me is "faith without deeds is dead." And no wonder my faith feels so small…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16137348021686597960 Lisa

    I know what she means. I think. I wish God would use me for something great like what you are doing. I just don't feel the call. I wish I were strong enough in Him to do something big. I know I'm not so right now I just keep praying and growing..ever so slowly though.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11161403008204547741 B. Sarah

    My heart aches for you…"Trust in the LORD, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness." Psalms 37:3

  • http://www.mozambiqueorphans.org melinda

    Wow, 455 comments so far- think you made a connection! Just wanted to encourage you that you are indeed not alone. I have been living and working amongst the poor for more than 20 years now and I know many many many women like you. I was one of them even. But I think you would agree, though the heart may break, the sufferings of this age are no comparison with the joys of the Kingdom. Your choice for obedience will be rewarded, because obedience is better than sacrifice, and also because obedience means God has something better.One of my friends in Africa had almost as many children as you adopted as a single woman- yet now she has a husband to share them with as they reach out to even more in the community.In my case, I wouldn't compromise, I lived in a dump amongst the people, and in my 40's God brought me a husband who didn't ask me to leave my call behind.I don't know what God will do with you- whether He will fulfill your earthly days with Himself alone as your husband, or if somewhere down the road He will bring you into marriage- but I do know- following Him and not compromising and trusting Him with His timing- that will bring true and lasting fulfillment and satisfaction in your life. It doesn't mean there won't be struggles, but you will sleep at night knowing He is pleased.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00104101345239241496 Kymberly Janelle

    I just found your blog and wow am I glad that I did. While my situation is not exactly like yours, it is simular in leaving a relationship for God. Thank you for this blog!! The love of God pours out through your writing, I am sooo blessed by this! I will continue to be reading & praying for you!! Bless you!!

  • Elizabeth K.

    (Kristin Laurence is right. :) Just sayin'). I am praying that you find a community that sustains you as the journey goes on. I'd also offer this perspective to those who feel convicted but cannot, realistically, do what Katie is doing: the church is a body. We are all called to have a heart for the poor, or what my tradition calls "a preferential option for the poor". Mother Theresa often told those who said they wanted to do what she did to get over it–to go back and run their businesses, for example, so that people would have places to work so they wouldn't fall into poverty, to be good stewards of their resources so that those who are called to this special work have the money they need to keep going. And to pray that God will use you–because this is a prayer God ALWAYS answers, and it requires bravery to pray it every day.Bless you, Katie, for your love and courage, and for showing us, as Mother Theresa did, that the work you do is HARD as well as joyful, and that all of us who think "Oh I'm not faithful enough, she's special" need to stop lying to ourselves.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11857554289543670693 Angela

    SIGH…with tears in my eyes I write this comment….My heart spilled as I read this…oh precious one, ((Hugs)) God's beloved, sigh…a crown of splendor in His right hand…Yes, He is SO faithful…SIGH

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15692986098907924480 LKLD

    I believe that Jesus' words are trugh and the way I am living is not tolerable.

  • http://www.solofemaletraveler.com Sabina

    Oh, this is so powerful and is hitting very close to home for me. I'm so glad I came across your very personal words today. You've opened my eyes, and you've brought tears to them. God bless you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01264571005799092152 Average Terran

    This is so very powerful! Everything that was written sent a hammer to my heart.

  • Stephanie

    Dear Katie,I am a 15 year old girl who has just started to read your blogs. And I have to say that God definitely speaks through you to me every time. My dream is to one day be a missionary in China and I thank the Lord every day for people like you who gave up their life to serve the poor. May God bless you and keep you and your beautiful Children safe there in Africa. I hope to one day be like you, keep pressing on! Love, your sister in Christ (:

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00000688142051792871 ATinkLife

    Even though you are thousands of miles away, you just touched my heart with your written words. Almost every word, every Scripture reference is something God has been speaking to me in the last three weeks.I am one of those women who would love to do what you do; who fully intends to do something quite similar(albeit in a different country). But you wrote exactly what God has showed me. I'm not ready. My foundation isn't fully built yet. There's more to do here, stateside, before our journey begins. And, though I felt frustrated for ten years that it hadn't happened yet, I know why now, and I understand the why. Thank so much for praying so earnestly for God to give you the right words to write even in the midst of the needs pulling on you from your own 14 and everyone else you take care of. Thank you for paying the cost, for following Christ, for bearing the cross. God, through you, is shining such an awesome light into the darkness of Uganda, and for that you are blessed of Abraham's seed to be a blessing. And what a blessing, even with the cost!

  • Anonymous

    Hi Katie,Thanks for showing me how much work God has yet to do in my life. Thanks for showing that I need to focus on Him and His work, not my own selfish wants and desires.I think it's hard, and I haven't given up the love of my life or have 14 kids in Africa. I am only 16, and I don't even know if I can make a difference in the world like someone like you can. It makes me sad, but thanks for proving to me that there are people out there who want to live for God. strictly for Him.Thanks,Emma

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13910500051101987804 Lindsay

    You are an incredible person being used in incredible ways. I spent time in Uganda one summer, and I regret that I did not allow God to use me outside of my comfort zone. I think that those of us called to missions abroad often feel like that is enough. The living far from home is enough. The dealing with cold showers and pit latrines is enough. But if we allow Him, He will use us in ways that we never imagined. We have to be willing to give of our comfort. You are so right.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14095348138510360938 Ashley Eiler

    hey katie!i go to brookhills and i agree…how can we do anything but give everything…i am so glad you are listening to david!! be encouraged sister…www.eilerandcompany.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08616179559645967254 AT

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS POST! All of our situations are different… I've struggled with comments people have made about me being okay now that I'm back in the US. I just want to scream to them that that doesn't make me okay. I felt the earth shake… but nothing is more terrifying than seeing or knowing where God has called you and making an excuse or saying NO to Him. Your calling is beautiful and joyful and most certainly not easy. I want to say THANK U. Thank you for being 'radical'… I have taken a lot away from your words here. When what we do is hard for others to relate to, God comforts us with people who can relate and appreciate us! ((HUGS))

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11548057739977865331 Elizabeth

    Thank you for this testimony, Katie. I have been home sick for several days and just found your blog. The Lord has used it to convict me of the selfish and sinful way in which I've been living my life, eyes closed to his hurting children. Thank you for reminding me and for saying "Yes" to God. Your faithfulness touches not only your children, but all those who see your walk. Thank you for showing us what faith with works looks like! You are an inspiration. Gotta go…time to put feet to the faith. TTYL

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12566760765304375314 Brooke

    Thank you for laying your life on the altar, and thank you for writing about it.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you for being unafraid to convict us. Your courage is inspiring– I am ashamed of my little faith! I am praying over you, your beautiful daughters, and your ministry. Praise God for his provision and care. I am also praying for your heart– may God continue to heal you and prepare you for more glorious things to come.

  • Anonymous

    Katie,I hope you see what you are doing not only for the people you are with on a day to day basis loving with your own blood and sweat and tears but what you are doing for the people who read about it! The first day I read your blog I cried and read for hours and hours. What an amazing love for the Lord you have, how he must be SO delighted in you. You truly have honored him and glorified him! Praise the Lord for your life, for your heart, for your surrender and obedience! Praise a God who IS mighty to save! Your life has blessed me and my kids! Those precious children bring me to tears and I pray to one day be able to hold some of them and love them the way you do! I see my own kids faces in each one of the children I see on your page and always walk away humbled and in tears. How blessed are your children to have you as their mother! There are no words for you Katie, May the Lord Jesus satisfy you beyond all measure!

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for inspiring me with this blog entry. You are right in every respect. I must be willing to lose everything to gain everything.Dave

  • Anonymous

    Katie, I'm so moved and fighting back tears right now. Thanks to our Lord for people like you. Thanks for speaking strong and powerful truth. It's so easy for us to become self consumed sometimes. It's easy to justify what we want or what we don't want to do. I pray the Lord works in my life to lead me to His will instead of my personal comfort. You are such an inspiration -frightfully awakening! I'll be praying for you and your loved ones. Blessings!

  • julie

    Dear Katie,As I am reading your blog, my tv is on a self-absorbed reality show & I am suddenly sick of myself & this artifical, unholy world. I want to crawl thru my tv & yell for us to wake-up & get busy & how can each & everyone of us go thru our daily lives & allow our children of this world to suffer such despair! And yet, I know the Lord hears you & his people. You are truly an angel & how proud our King must be of you! I wish I could be there to help you & the precious children. Now you are written in my heart & from this day & forever you & the children will be in my prayers everyday! May God Bless you & bless the Children! Amen! love your Sister, Julie

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09463972684857892138 Jocelyn

    thank you. i was led to your blog just tonight from the block's blog and this was a needed reminder for me.i am a single 27 year old in america who has been fostering children for 2 1/2 years- after saying goodbye to a man i thought would share my heart's calling, but sadly did not, losing friends who didn't understand why i would choose a life such as this. i've had 8 kiddos total through those years and currently have 4 precious children 2 years old and younger- two 2 year olds, a 17mo and an 8 mo old. in 2 1/2 years i only have been been able to have adopted one… and there has been a loooot of heartbreaks saying goodbye after goodbye.in the midst of therapy appointnments- occupational, speech, developmental and play therapy; doctors appointments- pediatricians, GI, neuorology, pulminary; visit after visits from case workers, lawyers, social workers; dealing with beaviors from one that are devestating and difficult day in and day out… there are days when i feel defeated, exhausted, thougts that I "deserve" a break, or calmness, or normalcy… comfort… that this is too much and NOT what i signed up for wen i answered God's call… and i was getting to those self-involved feelings tonight after a busy, rough day. so…. all that to say thank you for this post and ther reminder of what we have been called to. the walk is not easy, obedience wasnt promised to be an easy road… but it is a merciful road, a road filled with rewards and grace. thank you, katie… wonderful post- thank you for your unashamed words and honesty and challenge to push myself closer to where God desires me to be.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07850459711969789337 karen

    Dear Katie, I'm a little behind on your blog, as I just read the update from 2/11 "My heart spilled". Thank you for the blessing of truth that you share! Please know that God has touched my heart because of you and I pray that He will continue to work on me. :) I have been convicted. I feel that God is calling me to something, and I am certainly, completely unclear of what it is. I'm married with three wonderful girls, an amazing husband and residing in Spring Hill, TN. (the bubble of Williamson county we call it- sheltered from the struggles and poverty that many endure.)I will keep you and your family in our prayers. God has called you to something amazing and through that you are a witness and light to so many- including those back in the states. Please pray for our family as I know that God is calling us on a spiritual journey. Please pray that He would help us to understand Him more. In Christ Alone,Karen

  • http://www.natashakay.wordpress.com Natasha Kay

    Thanks for this Katie! In response to some of the comments I've read, I think it's fair to say that you're not asking *everyone* to quit their lives (as they know it) and move to a foreign country. We know that true sacrifice for the cause of the Kingdom is unique to each person. I praise God for your willingness and I know from personal experience that the hard lessons you are learning have the biggest pay-offs in your heart and spirit!For me, it came in the form of a major wake-up call to how I had neglected my role as a wife and mother, a husband walking out on our family and the call to stand for my marriage. Despite the obvious path to divorce, God called me to give up my own "rights" for the sake of what He wanted to do in me, through me. To give up the idea of "someone better", to give up the notion that "it is what it is". To come to grips with the fact that I might be single for the rest of my life and that's okay but that God, in his mercy, could change it with the snap of his fingers.After a year of separation and a lot of heart ache, I was able to come out the other side stronger, more loving, more wise, and incredibly humbled. My husband did come home (to a very different wife!) and we are healing our family one day at a time. Had I clung to my "rights" and "what I deserve", as so many friends (Christians, too) had urge me to do for all those months, I would not have the luxury of seeing the miraculous ways God worked in both our hearts to show the world that there is a better way, contrary to popular opinion. Thank you Lord for your mercy and grace! Open our eyes, Lord, and show each one of us how to live a life of sacrifice in whichever way You call us to.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06990798033393558082 Heidi…

    Much to ponder… thank you for your raw openness and your willingness to confront. You've given me much to think about. Thank you!~H

  • Anonymous

    http://www.austinstone.org/resources/sermons/This link goes to the sermon archive from The Austin Stone Community Church (Austin, TX). Check out the sermon called "The Man of Righteousness" from April 18, 2010. It is an incredible talk that re-affirms what this blog is about…sacrificing everything for the sake of following God's call.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02520864722038132265 Sophie

    There are over 300 comments, but I wanted to add one more. As I sit here reading your heart and bawled my eyes out, God touched me in a way that I haven't *felt* (feelings really are nothing… Faith doesn't equal warm fuzzies) in a while. I guess I should first mention that my heart is in Africa, or at least I say that. I want to go and minister to the broken, the forgotten, the unloved, the lost. I want to tell them about the redeeming love of the God of the Universe who made them and wants to make them a new creation. Your story broke my heart and healed it all at the same time. Thank you for sharing even though it was difficult, God is using you more than you could ever know.I want to meet you and hug you and all your precious kids. Love and blessings from hundreds of miles away,Sophie

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14477180445647156699 BeBe

    Katie, I want to come. I'll do whatever is needed. I know God wants me there, so you tell me when, and I'll be there.

  • Anonymous

    "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." – Hebrews 4:12Thanks for sharing that scripture! I'm praying for you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17522952628831269036 Mardi

    I can hardly type this for all the tears streaming my face…THANK YOU.I want to write more, but nothing seems appropriate. I love you and I am praying for you and I believe we will meet in person some day.

  • Kelsey

    Katie, you are so special. I know it's not what you're asking to hear, but you will have so many jewels on your crown in Heaven! I have heard no story more humbling or more powerful than yours. Know that you are changing not only the lives of your children and those around you in Uganda but other hearts all over the world through your example. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  • Anonymous

    Is. 58:10-11

  • Anonymous

    This is the second time I have read this particular post. It points out the cost that we often forget to count when we say "oh how cool, I wish I could do that" about the real sacrifices that others only guess at that you have made and most likely make as you follow God's commands and walk in His joy. May God continue to bless you in His work that you do everyday. Thank-you for sharing your story.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02733996002340283765 Gretchen

    You have the heart of Christ and it is beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with us.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15037271343194689612 S.I.F.

    Katie ~ I was directed to your blog by a friend who knows I'm struggling; with a broken body that's just not giving me the dream I've held on to for my entire life. I'm having a hard time placing my faith in God in this… I know it's what I'm supposed to do, but I'm struggling to maintain control. I'm struggling.All of this to say; I needed to read this today. So thank you.

  • BrittanyD

    Your heart it set above! Love it and love you! Will be praying for you sister!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10662172569685694865 stephanie j.

    What you wrote may just have changed my life and possibly the life of others around us.Thank you for your obedience to our Lord Jesus Christ.God bless you!

  • Anonymous

    I don't have the words to describe. But I wanted to leave a comment because i'm just so touched. I've tasted some of what you describe, but only the smallest part. May we all live lives that call us to truly lay down everything for Him. Thank you for the reminder. You inspire me.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07484017172281666019 the_blissful_mommy

    Katie~ 14/13: # of kids you have 0: minutes you have to read this, to be sure 1,000,000+: tears I felt streaming while I read your post. 350: comments so far on this post alone by people who are being CHANGED by your thoughts about Jesus and His transforming love 1: Tennessee boy you left behind who is MISSING OUT, Baby Girl ?: children we are out to find in my family, to add to the 3 already here. Starting now.I love you, sister. Fight on. You are loved big time. xxxxxooo

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06628199623206299940 Sarah

    thank you Katie for reminding me what Jesus meant when he said Matthew 10:37, 38“Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me."And in Matthew 19: 29 of His hundredfold promise when we leave those things.Thank you Jesus, for speaking clearly to me, for showing me Your will, which I knew all along. blessings sister, praying for you from Nicaragua

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13725501368382765340 melinda

    Hey Katie,I've posted once or twice before, and I don't imagine with the ministry you do you'll have time to read through the 350+ comments anytime soon, but in case you get down here to comment # 353, I wanted to encourage you. I've been living and ministering amongst the poor for more than 25 years now. When I left all; family, friends, the comfort of S CA…everyone thought I was SOO radical. They tried to either put me up on a pedestal or convince me why I didn't need to go live amongst the poor- because, hey, after all, didn't Jesus say 'the poor you'll always have with you.' It was like people wanted to either make me a saint or tear me down for the foolishness of actually thinking Jesus meant what He said about caring for the poor. I have no regrets. Sure, there have been costs- and those costs include having my heart shattered at times, but Romans 8:18,19 and 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 really are true!Romans 8:18 Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.19 For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are.2 Corinth 4:16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.Sometimes I wish I was starting out now because it is almost 'cool' and the 'in thing' to be concerned about issues of injustice and poverty. There is so much more support out there now for this sort of thing. But when I started out, I got my least encouragement from the church. Yet when I think about it, I'm glad it happened that way as it was pure Jesus that I went the direction I did. I think your call is pure Jesus, so be thankful for that.I too, like you, have had lots and lots of opportunities to laugh at the foolishness of Americans and their comments in 25 years. But hey, I'm one of them and can make foolish comments too, so I don't exclude myself. But having lived in a garbage dump and ministered in war zones and suffered through malaria too many times to count and not having 25 cents to give someone in the village to take the bus to her mom's funeral…well, it gives you a different and I hope wise and more eternal perspective.So when someone who comes on a 1 week mission trip starts making sweeping assessments about an entire nation, I either have to laugh or cry. The arrogance of Americans is quite amazing at times. I don't usually share this freely as to not alienate, but I'm writing to you, so I think I can be blunt and honest and you can take it and relate to it.I have heard some crazy things from people who have been short-term missionaries for 1 month and almost feel like they're experts after that. They may have spent their time in one small area of a nation, but they can then come up with grand sweeping generalizations that they try to apply to an entire nation they really know little about. They go on radio shows and speak at churches and write blogs- but their vision is so limited. I mean, it's one thing to share what you experience, but it's another to set yourself up as some sort of 'wise' one from a week or a summer of service. But patience is a virtue, so I pray, and where I can, try to input with those who seek it.(Part 2 continued in next comment)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13725501368382765340 melinda

    (Part 2)The main thing I want you to know- is you are so NOT alone. I won't put you on a pedestal, because I don't believe that's where you want to be, and also because Jesus has some pretty harsh words for those on pedestals. (Even if you don't put yourself there, from one missionary to another, I warn you, "Run for your life from such idolization." God kind of gets jealous about that position.) Another reason I won't put you on a pedestal but I want to encourage you with- is know that there are THOUSANDS of people like you out there serving God. This is actually one of the biggest gifts God's given me the last 25 years of serving Him amongst the poor: to see and work with some amazing women and men of God who are the 'Mother and Father Teresa's' of our day, but they are off the radar screen of most of the world. So my unseen compatriot, keep journeying on deeper into His heart, hunger for humility, and keep loving those orphans. They are His treasures, and He is sharing them with you.Melinda Nelson

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05582612707538412006 Anna

    God bless you and your work and your family! May it please Him to raise up many more obedient and available Katies to mother these precious children.

  • Anonymous

    When I started reading the comments I imagined you reading them, and wondered if you said aloud to yourself "aw, that's nice." I feel so much love and anger towards you right now Katie. The whole way through I was thinking "please don't be saying what I think your saying." Anyone who reads this please say a prayer for me! If God is telling me to tell him goodbye I'm going to need strength…

  • Rita Emmons Budlong

    I REALLY HOPE THIS comment gets to be posted. I was REALLY touched by your story. BUT, I came to a point in your story that said, and I am quoting this, cause I wrote it down so I would not forget. It said…In Luke 14:25, if you DO NOT HATE your Father-Mother, or Wife-Children, or Brother-Sister, and yes, YOUR OWN LIFE, you cannot be my disciple. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? You have to hate your family before you can be a disciple, what kind of person could HATE their entirely family?? I for one, LOVE MY FAMILY, and could NEVER hate my children OR my MOTHER, because my Mother and I are THE BEST OF FRIENDS, and that will NEVER CHANGE!! SO, will you PLEASE help me understand what this means??Sincerely,Rita Emmons Budlong

  • http://ashleyerin.wordpress.com/ ashleyerin

    Tears stream down my face as I type. My mouth open aghast as I read the words on your blog post that are directly from my own heart – the thoughts I've never given voice to written right on the screen in front of me.He's the only one I've ever loved these past seven years beginning when I was a junior in high school. Being with him is perfect – his encouragement, love, laugh, character – I can't imagine a better match. My heart overflows when he walks into the room. My laughter never ending when he's in my presence. How could it not be perfectly planned by the Lord? Yet I lived in Northern Iraq for six months after college and my heart changed – my soul changed. There's no way I could go back to being the same. No way to go on pretending. No way to be ignorant again.The Lord has been nudging my heart in a direction. Making me realize I can't live the life I might have wanted before Iraq. I'm suffocating here in suburbia. My heart drawn to a country I don't yet know the name of – a void in me wanting to love the unloved and care for the forgotten in some distant land. He's stirring my heart. "But what about him?!?" I ask the Lord. "What about this God-fearing wonderful man you've placed in my life?" Knowing full and well it could mean choosing to follow the Lord's plan for my life or being with the man I love. Knowing it might not be one and the same. How could I choose anything over the plan of my Maker? He's whispering, "Trust Me… Trust, my daughter". And how could I not? Katie, I don't know if you will even read this comment seeing as this post is over a year old. But I just wanted to thank you for writing it. I know it must have seemed impossible to pour out for all to see, but reading this, knowing that someone else has felt that same ache, felt the knot her throat that constantly threatens to give way to a waterfall of tears. It somehow makes it seem like a less lonely road – knowing someone else has traveled the same one. Thank you for your realness, your openness and your painful honesty.


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