It often isn’t said in all the hurly burly of controversy…

but speaking from experience, my wife and I are, like these folks, actually quite happy and non crisis-filled about just living naturally and not bothering with all the fuss and bother of the whole artificial contraception regime.  We always have been.  Once you make the fundamental decision, “We will take whatever God sends us and trust him” a lot  of junk falls away and trust grows that God will, in fact, supply and not jerk you around.

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  • SDG

    Prior to my moral judgment that contraception is wrong is my aversive aesthetic judgment that contraception is icky. Whether it’s icky tampering with the delicate balance of a woman’s hormones or icky messing with paraphernalia during sex, it strikes me as a nasty, unsexy, unhappy business.

    I admit this judgment is made at a distance, with no personal experience of my own, though it’s backed up by plenty of people who do have personal experience, and I’ve never known anyone to say “Yes! I love condoms! They make me feel so close to my spouse!” or “Taking the pill for the last 10 years makes me feel really good about my health and my body…why wouldn’t it?”

    Of course I imagine many people on the other side have aversive responses of their own to having seven kids (our seventh is actually due today…though he’s sure to be late, like the others). But an open heart toward God, life and one another is a big part of happiness. We’ve never looked at a pregnancy test with trepidation, as if a child at the wrong time were a threat to our plans. God has blessed us beyond measure…and whatever happens, I’m confident that there’s so much more blessing to come.

    • Scott W.

      SDG said, I’ve never known anyone to say “Yes! I love condoms! They make me feel so close to my spouse!” or “Taking the pill for the last 10 years makes me feel really good about my health and my body…why wouldn’t it?”

      I’d add the testimony of priest who said that in the unnumerable number of people he ministerd to on their deathbeds that he has heard plenty of people say the wished that they had had more children. He has yet to hear anyone say they wished they had fewer.

      • Bob

        Scott, there are millions of people who wish they had fewer children or none at all. Very few people admit this, of course, even to themselves much less to someone else (even a priest, even on their deathbed).

        • Hezekiah Garrett

          Then how did you arrive at a number like millions?

          • Andy, Bad Person

            Deathbed psychic?

  • Bill McGeveran

    Generosity, trust in God, openness to the future, keeping material things in their place, those surely are important values often overlooked. And it is great to see a big, happy family. Fine so long as it is not taken to deny that parents have responsibilities that are not discharged simply by leaving things in God’s hands. Having these values does not cancel out the need for prudence and good judgment. And it all really has nothing to do with arguments intended to show, in my opinion unconvincingly, that artificial birth control is always immoral because it frustrates nature.

    • Scott W.

      Let’s not try to qualify this to death. Especially considering the ratio of contraceptors to hyperprovidentialists is what? 10^5:1? 10^6? Something like that.

      • Scott W.

        P.S. reducing the argument that contraception “frustrates nature” is information removing and misleading. Contraception is evil. It desecrates the marital bond, offends against chastity and is a menace to public morals.

        • Ted Seeber

          I go so far as to say it reduces sex to rape.

          • David Davies

            It reduces “I love you and give all of myself to you” to a lie.

  • Obpoet

    I am glad to read this about you. I read your blog frequently and worry about the ill effects of constantly interfacing with the voice of evil. I pray that you continue to have the strength to shake the dust off your sandals at the end of each negative confrontation. This is a powerful ministry and I want to see it continue a long time. Thanks for all you do.

  • Rachel K

    God bless good priests at pre-Cana. We also owe our not contracepting to a pre-Cana priest. I suffered from debilitating menstrual cramps for over a decade (having a baby was what ended up putting the kibosh on them–either the cramps were nothing compared to childbirth or it changed my body chemistry in fabulous ways). My gynecologist, like so many others, simply handed me a prescription for birth control pills without ever telling me I had other options or even trying to figure out what the underlying cause of the cramps was. When my husband and I were preparing to marry, I wanted to quit the Pill and use NFP–I didn’t at first, but my wonderful husband wouldn’t drop how uncomfortable he was with contracepting–but I was terrified that if I did, I’d go back to missing three days of work every month. We expressed these concerns to our priest at pre-Cana, and he listened, nodded, and asked, “Have you ever asked your doctor about using a prescription-strength pain reliever instead?”

    Bam. It was so obvious. The thought had never occurred to me because, well, my doctor said I had to take the Pill, so I thought the Pill was the only cure. I set up an appointment with her and switched over to painkillers, and we were able to marry without having the shadow of contraceptives over our heads. God is good!

    • Rachel K

      Hot diggity, the spambot really doesn’t like it when I name-drop medications.

  • Ted Seeber

    This makes me a bit sad. We’ve never used contraception, only used NFP to try to conceive, yet in 13 years of marriage, God has only blessed us with a single child.

    I think I know what is wrong- a combination of the sin of gluttony and proven really low level synthetic estrogen pollution in our city’s water supply- but it doesn’t help to know the cause, especially if they are causes you struggle with fixing.

    • ds

      God does let bad things happen to people, not necessarily because of some evil. My wife and I are infertile, not due to anyone’s sins or water tampering by EVIL contraceptors. Its endometriosis. Luck of the draw. Still God blessed with one adopted child, and we are very gratefuld.

      But God for reasons only he knows will sit back and watch you die, sometimes slowly n miserably. Tornadoes hurricanes, floods, droughts, volcanoes etc.

      • Hezekiah Garrett

        Having never been there, as evidenced by this conversation, at best we can guess. So on what do you base your guess that God will sit back and watch you die?

        I guess He’ll hold my hand till the bitter end and give me enough peace and joy to get rhough this one more thing. I base that on previous experience. No, not death, but things that really leaving you wishing you were. And He’s there, whether I’m clinging to Him or trying my best to ignore His pleading.

        I bet you’ve experienced that as well. I know I am not alone. So how can you say God would sit back and watch?

        • ds

          God set up this universe to include natural disasters, which kill people. God chooses to let this happen, at least if he is omnipotent he does. So there you go, God lets you die. Disease, all that too. Dying painfully by bits from cancer. Dying by bits from alzheimers or dementia, with the bonus that your loved ones get to see you go to pieces over years. Drought causes famine and you starve to death while you get to watch your children starve too. God will kick back and watch all this stuff happen.

          I do trust that God will be there to help you through that suffering. But he still lets it happen.

          But sometimes really bad shit just happens without the sins of yerself or evil contraceptors or anybody else. God brings good from all things, but i see him aa the ultimate maker of lemonade from lemons. God does no hurt to anyone, and i find that inconsistent with “everything happens for a reason.”. Its a well intended thought but it baaically makea God responsible for evil IMO.

      • Ted Seeber

        God sitting back and watching is enough, sometimes. I don’t believe in luck of the draw- I have to think there IS a purpose in it.

        But what that purpose is I will never be able to guess.

  • When we were protestants, we started using the pill, and immediately new that something was not right, just from the way it made my wife felt… sadly, being against contraception is just *so* dang Catholic, that we wouldn’t take the issues seriously until we started to look into swimming the Tiber.

  • David Davies

    Isn’t it odd that pretty much the same folks who are terrified of eating anything which might be stuffed full of artificial hormones advocate that women stuff themselves full of artificial hormones. The incoherence is just jaw dropping.

    • Chris M

      It’s the same cognitive dissonance when pro-aborts have to restrict people from specifically aborting female babies. If they ever discover the “gay gene” you’re going to see the heads of the entire political left collectively explode from the ethical paradox.

  • Tom R

    > “We will take whatever God sends us and trust him”
    Yes, the hubris of thinking that we should try to “plan” our families or “control” our fertility, or… oh. Wait.
    Look, if you want to argue that exposing infants or old people to an Arctic winter overnight is morally licit in a way that giving them a lethal injection is not, go for it, but don’t try to pretend that one is “cooperating with God’s sovereignty” more than the other just because one uses deliberate inaction rather than deliberate action to achieve the same deliberate goal.
    Some of us find artificial distinctions more obnoxious than artificial contraception.

    • Mark Shea

      Do you find binging and purging to be the same thing as controlling your appetite?