Sleep Well

A reader writes:

A good friend of mine works for a large agency in another state. He’s attending a mandatory FEMA / Homeland Security training session today. He just heard a presenter say:

“If we could just get all government workers implanted with a GPS chip, much of our emergency planning would be much easier.”

They just want somebody they can…. do things to!  Like this ex-human.  And they long to make you an ex-human as well.  Something more like a drugged rat is what they prefer.

  • JDH

    He’s more machine now than man, twisted and evil.

  • http://www.likelierthings.com Jon W

    It’s because nobody at Homeland Security knows what all this security is for, so they have absolutely no way of judging when we have enough or too much.

  • SpasticHedgehog

    Government worker says “WUT”

    • SpasticHedgehog

      Also, now I’m really glad I missed the flu-shot clinic at work to take my cat to the vet.

      • Liam

        Let’s hear it for public unions.

  • Pancho

    All this time we’ve been worrying about the zombie apocalypse when it’s the Borg we should be worrying about. That, or the mad scientist from Gilligan’s Island who hands out pretty little “rings” to all the castaways.

  • http://thecrawfordfamily.net/blog Ken Crawford

    OK, obviously that was a stupid statement. Yet my gut says it was likely fairly benign in intent. He was probably just commenting on how it would be helpful in an emergency to know where all your workers are so they can be properly assigned, that chaos during these events is a real hindrance to success. With an implicit “obviously we can’t do this”, we would be much better coordinated if every worker had a gps chip in them, i.e., we knew where they all were.

    Could it have been more sinister, yes. But I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt that there was nothing sinister here.

    • Michael

      Why would they need to implant chips in people when they could issue them phones with GPS trackers already enabled? There is something perverse about this sentiment.

      • http://thecrawfordfamily.net/blog Ken Crawford

        Because people don’t always bring their phones with them. They end up left in the truck while they’re out in the field, etc. Or even some other person’s truck who left the scene.

        I had a family who worked in emergency services for the state of California and it is a real problem, even when they’ve all got phones and such.

        Don’t get me wrong, I agree there is something a bit off in the statement, particularly in today’s environment. But at the same time, it could be viewed in a more innocent way, just a stupid statement that poorly reflects a reasonable desire (good tracking of the support staff during an emergency).