If you are a monoglot like me…

…you may be on the lookout for foreign languages that are pretty much English with a funny accent, so you can boast about your multi-lingual mad skilz to people at parties or in press interviews without having to go to the trouble of studying, thinking or learning anything new (I hate having to do that!)  Ta dum!  Behold the Telegraph‘s list of easy foreign languages!  With this, you can brag about your burden for Frisian evangelization and your dedication to improving American-Afrikaaner dialog.  Most people don’t know anything about these sorts of linguistic groups. If they do, you can always just cut to citing some statistics you just invented about something Frisian or Afrikaaner and people will usually pipe down and feel properly intimidated.  If they question you, just say (in the same tone of voice you’d use to say “You left you soiled underwear on my coffee table”), “It’s in the 2006 study “Frisian Christianity in Crisis: An Orthopraxic Analysis” by Dr. Terence Freemantle.  You have read it, haven’t you?”  Only a fool would challenge that.  If they do, just compare them to Hitler.  Then break off the interview by muttering something in Frisian loud enough for people to hear and think, “Wow!  He has really come to identify with the oppressed Frieslanders.  What a sensitive multi-cultural type guy!”

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  • Claire

    As someone who speaks Afrikaans, I find this quite amusing. Afrikaans is also a great language for swear words, FYI.

  • sal magundi

    seriously, when you learn Latin you learn, like, half a dozen languages. more, if you count dialects.
    i charge reasonable rates.

    • Arnold

      I agree, Latin is very useful for all the Romance languages plus it helps to improve one’s English vocabulary. Too bad that it has a very difficult grammatical structure, especially in its classical form. Church Latin is easier.

  • http://coalitionforclarity.blogspot.com/ Robert King

    Good butter and good cheese to you!

    • HGL

      Is that in English or op Fries?

      (Sadly enough, Fries and even Loog Duitsch are Germanic lingos I have neglected – I am somewhat better at Dutch, Braid Scots, and maybe a bit Icelandic too)

      English is so to speak half way between Romance and Germanic. It helps you with both, though as far as basic grammar is concerned more with Germanic. (Make that: nearly only with Germanic)

  • http://panchoslinks.blogspot.com/ Pancho

    About Esperanto: Did you know that there’s an International Union of Catholic Esperantists? It’s true! Look here: http://www.ikue.org/info/en_info.htm , and here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Union_of_Catholic_Esperantists (wiki).

    The Missal and Lectionary have been officially translated into Esperanto and I think Vatican Radio does a broadcast in Esperanto, too.